[🇺🇸] Happy Birthday Aidan!

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Alabama: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

Everyone else: *pretends to forget or not know*

Alabama: FUCK YOU ALL

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Pennsylvania: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?

Connecticut: Don't ever speak to me again.

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Rhode Island: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".

Alaska: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

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Sianra: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Idaho: You are literally making a Valentine's day card for Massiah.

Sianra, pointing their hot glue gun towards Idaho: You're on thin fucking ice.

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*while waiting outside the principal's office*

Hawaii: What are you in for?

Oregon: Oh, they just want to know if it's cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What about you?

Hawaii: I stabbed a kid with a screwdriver.

Oregon: .

Oregon: ...

Oregon: We live very different lives.

Hawaii: Yes we do.

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