No Control (Book 1)

64. Fireproof

I woke up before my alarm went off the following morning, and lay there on my back listening to Harry's steady breathing. I mulled over the whole weekend, and couldn't stop myself from smiling up at the ceiling at everything that had happened.

"What are you smiling at?" a husky voice asked from beside me.

I turned to look at Harry and he smiled sleepily at me.

"I'm just happy," I said. "You make me happy."

"Good." He reached out for me and I slid over into his arms and buried my face in his chest.

"What are you doing today?" I asked.

"I'll head over to see Grimmy I reckon," Harry said. "I'll drop you off at work first though."

"You don't have to do that," I said.

"I know. I want to."

"OK then," I smiled. "Thanks."

"We've only got a couple of weeks before I'm back on tour again," Harry said. "I want to see you as much as possible. If you want to," he added quickly.

"Of course I do," I said, feeling sad at the thought of the impending tour.

My feelings must have shown in my tone because Harry hooked one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to look at him.

"I'll be home between shows," he said. "At least during the European leg. I won't be able to come home much while we're touring the States though."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he said quietly.

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes, then Harry suddenly said, "Sometimes I get so scared that this will all come crashing down without any warning."

"What will?" I asked.

"The band. One Direction. I don't think anyone expected us to be this popular, or this successful. Even now I still feel like one day I'll wake up and the world will have moved on to something else, someone else. Something more exciting."

He took a deep breath and I stared at his face, waiting for him to go on.

"People are so fickle, Jess. Our fans are the most loyal fans in the world but eventually they will get bored of us and move on to another band. That's just life, it's how these things work. And then what? I don't know how I will ever have a normal life. I don't know what I will do if one day all this just disappears."

He looked so scared, so vulnerable. This seemed to have come out of nowhere. I wasn't sure how to react to his words - I knew nothing of the world he lived in. I only knew of the parts that crossed over into mine.

"I don't think it will ever disappear for you," I said. "For any of you, really. You are so famous, Harry. Everyone loves you; you can do no wrong. Even if One Direction comes to an end you will not be short of offers, believe me. Every entertainment company in the world will want to snap you up. You have the Midas touch."

"I'm not ready for One Direction to come to an end," he said in a small voice, not meeting my gaze.

"Why would it?" I asked, confused.

He hesitated for a moment. "I'm scared how it will be, just the four of us. We muddled through on the last leg of the tour after Zayn left so suddenly, but this leg will be different. Everything's being reworked to run smoothly without him. What if we're not as appealing as a four-piece? What if this is the beginning of the end?"

"It isn't," I said, taking his face in my hands and forcing him to look at me.

"You don't know that."