No Control (Book 1)

69. What Makes You Beautiful

June 2015

Harry could definitely tell something was up the following morning as he drove me to work, but hopefully he put it down to women's problems. I avoided any serious conversation and almost fell over my own feet in my haste to get out of the car. I caught a glimpse of what looked like hurt on his face as I shut the door, but I put my head down and scurried up the steps to the door of my office building before he could shout me back.

"What's up?" Sarah asked as I walked past her desk and sat down in my chair. "And don't say nothing, because it's written all over your face."

"I'm just an idiot," I sighed. "But on the plus side, we have backstage passes and front row for VIP for Friday."

Sarah's mouth dropped open. "OK... I kind of want to scream but I don't know if I heard you right?" she said doubtfully. "You look like someone died."

"It's... complicated," I said awkwardly. "But yes, you heard me right."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No," I said immediately.

"Does this mean I can scream now?"

I half smiled. "I'm surprised it's taken you this long."

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, stamped her feet and screamed, waving her fists excitedly. "Oh my God, I'm going to meet Louis!" she squealed. "We're going to fall in love, I can just feel it. He's going to whisk me off into the sunset on his private jet... we're going to party in all the trendy LA bars... hey we could have a double wedding with you and Harry!"

I snorted. "Not happening."

Sarah rolled her eyes theatrically. "Come on, what's happened now? I'll get it out of you eventually."

But I just shook my head. I couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud that I'd been repeating in my head since he'd said them to me yesterday. Nothing's changed.

I spoke to Harry after I finished work, but he had planned to go out with Grimmy that night so I was glad of some time to myself. I brushed him off when he suggested spending Tuesday evening together with the excuse that I hadn't seen Callie properly for ages, and by the time Wednesday rolled around I was feeling less emotional about his comment, and more resigned to the fact I should have known an international superstar would never fall in love with someone as ordinary as me.

I had almost forgotten I was due to meet up with Gemma until she texted me on Wednesday morning to check we were still on.

I left my office at 12 and walked up the road to a little restaurant called Cafe Cafe, and immediately caught sight of Gemma sitting in a corner. I weaved through the tables and she smiled at me as I approached her.

"I've already ordered some cocktails," she said as I sat down.

"Christ," I grinned. "Don't be sending me back to work pissed, I'll get the sack!"

She grinned back. "I'm more worried what Harry would say if he thought I was getting you drunk without him being here."

"He'd get over it," I said, unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Wasn't he twitchy about you meeting me?" Gemma asked.

"Um, I didn't tell him," I said, realising as I said it how odd it sounded.

"Oh," she blinked. "I wondered why he hadn't been pestering me not to embarrass him."

"I haven't seen him since Monday morning," I confessed.

"Oh..." Gemma said again, softly, clearly picking up on my discomfort.

The knowledge that the tour started again on Friday wasn't lost of either of us, and sort of hung in the air, unspoken.