Oh yes,Oh no

95.Insecure...

Tae's POV

We've been back home for some time now,and let me just say that our house has never been this noisy or busy.

The twins are now 3 months old,and their personalities are very different.  Jin Jr. is more lively and very demanding and slightly bigger. Hoseok Jr. is a sweetheart,he's quieter and smiles all the time. The only time he gets fussy is when his diaper is wet.

I have been hands-on with the twins,and so has Jungkook.  He is back at work,but when he comes back home, he is a dad,and it's just amazing to watch him step up to the plate. He's not big on them getting injections. He was so worried about them.

Guess what, guys? Yes,my niece is here. She is the cutest little girl you'll ever see. She's a month old, and just like Hoseokie Jr., she is just so quiet and peaceful ,and she's mostly active at night.

I am always downstairs to help or just sit with them because the twins have a strict bedtime routine ,as well as feeding time. And mostly because I am avoiding intimacy with my fiancé.

I avoid bathing with him, and I avoid going to bed when he's awake. I am still very insecure about my body. It's been three months, and I still feel numb on my very red and visible scar from my c-section. 

I want to be intimate again, but I just don't feel confident in my body, and I also still need to go back on birth control. I want to be very cautious because I am not on anything, one cumshot and that will be it.

Trust me,I already know that I should talk to him about what's going in my mind,and I will soon.

We have the baby monitors,and the video footage of them on our TV twenty-four hours, seven days a week. The sexual frustration between us is very evident.

We were still in bed,when he pulled me closer and slowly started to kiss my neck . I feel his need on my ass, I feel it in his touch,and his breath on my neck. His hand squeezed my ass,

Tae:" Jeon (whispered plea)

Jk:" I am -

Tae:" No,not yet. I am not ready yet.

Jk:" Taehyung, I am dying to be with you again

He turned me on my back and got on top of me,and started to kiss me. I kissed him back,it felt so . Feeling him on top of me like that had me wet ,a sudden need to have him inside rising.  The kisses got deeper,and the atmosphere got heavier,and he paused for a moment, looking down at me,his hard dick pressed against me,twitching.

He leaned down and started to kiss me again, and I kissed him back instinctively, running my hands through his hair. He started to unbutton my pajama top,button by button

Tae:" Ah,Jeon ( speaking in between kissing)

Jk:" Mmmmm

Tae:" Baby,we can't. We should stop.

Jk:" Baby,it's been three months.  I am not trying to put pressure on you or anything, I just really miss you.

Tae:" I know,I do too . It's just not safe to do it now.

He slowly retrieved and got up,and I felt bad watching him walking away, probably to mastubate. I decided to let him be and had to calm myself down.

I got up and wanted to go to him but decided to go check up on the boys instead.  I could see that they were peacefully sleeping, I am just avoiding seeing his disappointment.

I went back as soon as I did because it's too early for the boys to get up. I went back to the room and put on my gown,and that's when he walked out ,towel around his waist dripping wet,drying his hair. He looked at me and I gulped