Crazy...
I must be crazy.
That's the only explanation.
Otherwise....
WHY NOT JUST GIVE THE DAMN PHONE NUMBER?!?!
Is the installation guy important?!
Friend???
Relative???
Hidden boss that wants to experience life and hardship?!
You have their number but I'm the one waiting for the guy to arrive alone!!!
All I ask is to give my number or give his number!!!
Then the guy can notify me when he has all the parts.
Then we can make a scheduled appointment!!!
Then I won't have to wait every damn day and prepare everyday!!!
But nooooooo!!!
You just want to be inefficient!
For no reason!!!
Is that guy's number so important?!
The easy I see it, this is like making an appointment to go see a doctor!
Why the fuck won't you give the number?!
I didn't even see the man when he came last time!
I literally locked myself in my room and left the house unattended to a stranger!
Although there's nothing valuable but it's a miracle we didn't get robbed!!!
Can you think of my safety for once?!?!
A young girl left alone at home with a grown adult man!
I'm sick and weak and mentally unstable!!!
All of this together...
DOES IT LOOK LIKE A GOOD SITUATION?!?!
Fuck!
What kind of father are you?!
I never expected anything from you.
I never truly thought of you as my father even though I call you dad out of habit.
I wasn't even disappointed when you argued that I'm not your child!
I knew from the beginning. From the moment you abused and strangled my mother in front of me when I was a baby.
From when you stalked us while we were poor and helpless as a family of three females. Luckily you didn't harass us at the time or maybe you did secretly and I was too young to notice.
But the very moment my mother had an accident and us sisters needed a relative to pick us up...
The first thing you said to us in years is not a greeting or concern...
But an insult and humiliation to my mother!!!
Then you said if we don't behave and are naughty you'll leave us at an orphanage!
Heh. Truly. I'm glad I never expected anything from you and was never disappointed.
All those times at school where teachers call our parents or when we share our vacation or family to class?
Haha! I'm happy you were never there or were a topic! Otherwise I would've been ashamed and embarrassed to be seen with you.
I rather be looked at as an orphan and parentless by my classmate than to be seen with you!
Back then without a mother or father, I was lucky there was still my grandpa.
Although he doesn't love me as much as he loves himself. It was enough. He took care and gave enough attention.
At least sometimes he played along either our childish games when he came home from work.
...I don't want to admit it but I have fond memories with him. No matter how little or negligent he can be sometimes.
He's old anyways and I can't blame him...
Even though I know the truth that he doesn't care about us like a good family and he left the moment he was able to...
Fucking...
Oh he's not dead by the way. He's overseas. Back to the land he was born on and having fun in retirement.
At least he doesn't have to always be tired and have a headache dealing with this broken family.
Now I'm sad and feel a bit sorry for myself but I keep thinking I'm a lot more fortunate than others and force myself to be content with everything...
YOU ARE READING
Diary
RandomI want to write out my thoughts as honestly as possible and try not to lie like I always do. Maybe by being anonymous will make me stop being a liar. I think it's a bit late to say this after publishing for about a month but I should put a warning. ...
