Scold! Keep scolding!
Why is my childhood scolding so different from my little brother's?!
Maybe it's the 18 or so year difference?
She hasn't had the need to take care of a child for so long so she hasn't changed?
But it's so annoying to listen to her scolding everyday and almost every morning!
I'm sleeping and I suddenly hear yelling so early in the morning!
Reasonably scolded. But it's 6am!!!
I escaped needing to wake up and go to school myself, but I can't escape being woken up early?!
What annoys me is that the scolding lacks determination!
Call me ruthless and cold hearted!
But if I was my mom, I would do exactly as a I said as a threat.
My mom only says threatening words like leave him outside or let him sleep in the back yard with his iPad or take away his iPad.
The most severe scolding is how she talks about taking care of him and says things like go ahead and become homeless.
I'm saying all this without much context and description, but my mom scolds him every time with reasonable causes!
Which is why I'm annoyed!
She needs deterrence!
Let him learn his lesson!
Not say empty words!
Although I won't go as far as do exactly as she threatens, but I'm willing to take away all devices and let him stand outside in the dark for a few minutes alone!
And stop threatening him in my name!!!
Fuck! Am I scary?!
I'm easy going!
As long as no one bothers me.
I'm just more merciless.
Cry! Just keep crying! If tears can help you do anything then the world would be in chaos!
I feel no sympathy nor pity for children crying.
I have and always will be able to watch them cry their throats hoarse.
Fuck! I've cried many times in my life before too!
So I do feel something when people cry for certain reasons.
But I feel completely indifferent for people crying when they are in the wrong or want to take advantage to be pitiful.
Like I said. There's no sympathy nor pity within me when I see that type of tears.
It's so annoying!!!
Argh!!!
When I was scolded, I got the knees to the floor, back straight, no butt sitting, and face to the wall!!!
All he gets is empty words?!
It's been a long time since I've been punished and scolded, but still!!!
I feel aggrieved!!!
Well... not that I can ever get the same punishment ever again.
Excluding health issues and the guilty conscience my mom has for me.
My legs can no longer be bent like that. Otherwise it gets locked and I can't move and a whole wave of pain comes.
It's really hard sometimes as a tall person who needs to reach down to get something from a bottom cabinet or shelf or something.
It doesn't buckle often if I bend my knee slightly, but when I get to a certain height or squat or even sit flat on the floor.
I can't stay in position for long or have to be very careful getting up.
So I avoid it all that way I have an even less of a chance of ever being in a situation my knee buckles and lock.
YOU ARE READING
Diary
RandomI want to write out my thoughts as honestly as possible and try not to lie like I always do. Maybe by being anonymous will make me stop being a liar. I think it's a bit late to say this after publishing for about a month but I should put a warning. ...
