It's been so long since I've written anything.
My life is still uneventful and I haven't had much thoughts lately.
Oh. Yesterday my father came back home from overseas and his experience at the airport was really unlucky.
I also tried out the new fan my sister brought me as a gift. Since it was so cold during winter, it had stayed in the box for a long time.
I like it very much. The fan is powerful enough for me to sleep with ease during a hot day.
With my physique and ill body, heat is my natural enemy!
The ac is fine and working but it adjusts to the thermometer of the house and it hasn't been hot lately.
The weather only started warming up.
Well enough about my health problems. I can even turn on the fan during winter and eat and drink cold stuff. That's already crazy enough. No need to talk about it anymore.
With the new fan, my condition is very stable and I can finally sleep with ease without waking up every hour.
I don't know what else to write for today.
I want to share something but I can't think of anything.
All I do is read every moment I'm awake.
And sometimes if I read something very erotic and become uncomfortable and horny, I stop and go look for porn.
Honestly, even just looking for porn is a hassle and takes time. So much so that my horny mood is completely gone when I find something I want to watch.
Oh and I have to decide to watch real porn or hentai or find a yaoi manga.
You know what? I suddenly realize it's a bit weird to share about my taste on porn.
Should I just talk about it???
I mean. To be honest, I'm not feeling shy or ashamed to talk about it in the moment right now, but I don't know about later.
My main search when I'm horny is definitely yaoi manga.
Just search for: MyReadingManga
Or myreadingmanga.info
It basically has all my needs and requirements for yaoi.
Plot, no plot, sex, romance, scenarios.
Choose whatever you like.
If I want to ready a story, I carefully select it.
If not, I just search for my taste in sex.
My preference is always the same. I don't know when it started or maybe I liked it from the very moment I was aware of the aspect of sex and porn.
Anyways. I like mind control and time stop.
I did like tentacles at one point because I used to watch The Anime Man and got to know Aki.
YouTubers by the way.
She had a thing for tentacles and I got curious.
Then I had a thing for it too. But then I changed and like mind control or hypnosis more.
Since then, I never choose tentacles again.
Oh. Just to remind you. My morals in real life is normal. This is just my preference or fetish knowing that it's all fake.
It's anime after all.
And I'm a virgin that can't go outside for various reasons. I talked about it before.
Anyways as much as I want to be fucked to death every time I get horny and excited.
I know with absolute certainty that I'll die alone and as a virgin forever.
Main reason is my personal issue.
Second reason is my high standard on looks.
Third reason is that all my love has been taken by fake men!!!
I can't get horny looking at real men. Okay. Maybe I can. But not that much. At least I don't ever get any urges to have sex and be fucked.
Oh and I have the same taste when searching for real porn too.
All mind control, hypnosis, and time stop.
But I only watch real porn when I feel I can wait.
Search for the video to watch is...
Really.... Ugh...
Is it because I'm inexperienced?
It takes so long!!!
The actors are either not attractive or very bad with acting or really stupid!
The mood build up!
The acting!!!
I don't ask for much! Not celebrity level movie drama acting!
This is porn, but at least have some professionalism!
Honestly, my horny mood died so hard, I just make do with whatever I found was decent enough and leave.
So unsatisfying!
And the dicks and thrusting? Sometimes... I want to question the actors being fucked.
Do you feel good or anything at all?!
Are you moaning just to moan or what?
I watch and try to imagine myself being fucked like that and as a virgin, I want to say, I better stay a virgin.
Maybe my imagination feels better than being actually fucked like that.
I have so many complaints that's why I rarely search real porn.
The only reason I still watch real porn is to see if there's any new videos that came out for hypnosis that looks decent and...
That's about it.
Just looking for something new.
With all that being said, my taste in sex is very clear.
I basically have a fetish for rape.
God! I sound like such a criminal that should be shot dead!
To be very clear! I like it while knowing it's fake, legal, and with consent.
All real life real rape that actually happens in the world should be condemned!
Rape is wrong!
But it can't be helped that there's erotic imagination and fetishes.
Oh. I say rape, but that's basically what mind control and time stop is.
Oh and I liked stuck in a wall or various scenarios before.
And the yaoi of drugs and sex toys and unawareness in their sleep...
Wow! That's all for today!
YOU ARE READING
Diary
RandomI want to write out my thoughts as honestly as possible and try not to lie like I always do. Maybe by being anonymous will make me stop being a liar. I think it's a bit late to say this after publishing for about a month but I should put a warning. ...
