Diary

August 14, 2025

Lately when I lay down to sleep and get comfortable something weird happens.

I find a comfortable position, feel satisfied, then start to go to sleep.

It takes time for me to sleep. But just when I'm comfortable, I feel the head of my bed and pillow being squeezed and have weight pushed down on it!

Honestly first thought was someone came to get something and leaned on my bed to not fall.

But clearly there's no one!

This happened for days in a row.

And I thought I was haunted because this happened after I already experience occasional, shat seems to be, sleep paralysis.

This sleep paralysis only happens when waking up or being woken up.

Keep in mind. No one wakes me up. So being woken up is really sudden for me. Sometimes it's because of a dream. Other times it's because my consciousness became aware I'm dreaming.

And even when I am dreaming, my self in the dream but my subconscious was always aware and watching.

I think I explained this before. It's like getting multiple perspectives.

Last night I dreamt of finding some hidden place. There was an invisible barrier. It gave two choices. One to stay and one to explore.

I chose to explore and entered the barrier because the moment I knew the choices I thought the stay option wasn't "stay and not enter" but as in "stay in here and be stuck forever" inside the barrier.

Go in and met a young handsome guy.

The friendly and outgoing golden retriever type.

He showed me around the entrance area then led to to go introduce someone he knows.

He goes somewhere and calls out a name I don't remember. But no one answered.

We go deeper into what seems like a cave passageway but not really. There's no long path. It was just thee entrances that are positioned in an open triangle.

I can't describe the details but it was like a dungeon run or maze or some kind of mystery like in manhua and manhwa.

Something like towers or rifts or hunters or awakeners. But my dream doesn't have that.

You just have to have skills to get through it. Of and there were beings you have to avoid but I'm not sure if it was an enemy or monster or what. Couldn't see clearly cause it was dark. And the light source was dim candles all over the place.

Anyways not my concern.

I was more curious about all the Buddha statues in all three entrances.

All different styles and everything too.

I was not as much scared or anything as I was confused. Like wow... I never knew I knew of so many different looking buddhas???

Was it like... made up or did I see it in passing and it somehow got stored in some corner of my brain? Because I never knew.

Anyways at the time in my dream, my subconscious knew it was a dream and watched my dumb self messed with a nail I accidentally found that was like a switch that made one candle suddenly shine brighter.

The nail was like some kind of hinge for the door at the cave entrance that seems to not even have a door. So it really made no sense.

The friendly guy and I watched the person we are looking for avoid some shadowy beings and come towards us. While I just kept messing with that nail switch.

No clue if I made it harder or easier. I was just bored.

Then I turned around to ask the friendly guy.

"Are those things able to get pass the entrance and come out?"

He said no.

And that's when I just completely let go and not care about the other person coming back life or death.

I just played with that nail switch like an annoying troublemaker like it was the funniest thing to do in the world.

I was so speechless watching myself do that while knowing it's a dream. My hands got itchy and wanted to try too since I was also bored.

Then the dream ended.

I woke up. Found it was too early.

Went back to sleep to try to continue the dream.

But them the dream took a drastic change to being r-rated.

It became erotic.

Then that's it.

I won't go into details. But I definitely controlled that dreams towards my fetish because everything about it was what I like.