Diary

May 11, 2025

I feel wronged so early this morning.

I'm fortunate to learn English and be educated at a very young age because I was born here in America.

But that doesn't mean the difficulties of non-English speakers is my fault.

I just ask if it was possible for them to go buy me morning food at the store. But I don't know when they serve it.

They left and went to buy it for me knowing that.

So they got there and saw no food yet.

So they call me.

I told them okay. But ask them when they serve food normally so that in the future we can know when to come.

They hung up saying they was a sign on the wall and took a photo to send to me.

I translated that it only shows the pricing according to the portions you order.

But then they didn't call back or reply!!!

About 30. Minutes later they come home frustrated and complaining.

Listen.

I didn't argue and stayed silent.

Because that put me in a bad mood too.

I understand that nowadays workers are very shitty.

It depends on luck, but around here it happens too often.

Lazy and discriminating workers.

There are sometimes even bitches that mock and insult while staring at you.

So I do get it even if I don't go outside and always give a shopping list and let someone else go.

But.

Here's a but.

They asked the store for the time.

The little one that went with them understands a little English, couldn't understand what the people said.

So?

So they waited with uncertainty without calling me!!!

They stood there waiting 30 minutes.

Me: ...

I'm just so speechless...?

I mean.

Should I be thankful you wanted to be able to buy me what I want because you love me?

Or frustrated at how stupid you are???

At most if you just left without waiting, I would just be in a bad mood and disappointed.

But my emotions are always quick to process and I get over it after being frustrated for a bit.

And now, by waiting, more people are put in a bad mood.

And you handle your bad mood worse than me.

Can I just say how wronged I felt seeing someone like this for a small matter but endures way worse things daily caused by your own daughter and son in law???

We both sometimes have sessions at night talking for hours about them and how you are being treated and what's right and wrong.

I give most of my advices leaning towards being straightforward and letting go of the burden.

But for love, affection, motherhood, reputation, and to not let family shame spread as gossip.

You endure.

Endure. Suppress. Endure.

You hide. You cried.

I don't get it.

You can stay so calm sometimes that it makes me hate you.

But then you express anger and frustration just fine like now.

Is it the difference of an outsider and a relative?

Honestly. You didn't have to make yourself angry by waiting. You could've just left.

I know I ask for a lot. I do nothing. Have nothing.

But I always ask others to go buy me things....

But.

Here's another but.

BUT I MOST ASK MY BIOLOGICAL DAD TO GO BUY THINGS USUALLY TO SPEND HIS MONEY. Not you!!!

Someone who doesn't know the situation might feel weird about what I just said.

But that man rather gives out his money to other women and their children!

He cares more about them than his biological children!!!

What the fuck does he even get?!

Sex?

That woman is oversea!

You at most fly over there about once a year!

She has no merit or anything! She just takes your money!

The money you barely use yourself except for gas and food and cigarettes!!!

How much could you possible spend with the amount you earn weekly???

So I rather make him run around to buy me food and stuff.

At least my purchase is reasonable.

I'm not materialistic... well I am but... I forgot the word.

Anyways. I never find anything worth it to buy or I have more reasons to not buy than to buy it.

So all of my purchases has been food!!!

FUCK!

If anyone wants evidence they can look at my text history with him!!!!

It's all food!

Once every week!!!

I only bother people on their day off!!!

Sunday depends on the situation.

If there food cooked at home. Okay.

If there's no cooked food? Ask for fast food.

Simple, right?

And I've been doing this for so long that I'm very careful with writing notes for every situation I can possibly think of because no one else in this house knows English as fluently as me!!!

IS IT MY FAULT PEOPLE ARE TOO LAZY TO READ?!

Should I make my notes ruder and more sharp?!

I always make my notes easy to understand and polite.

Who knows what you will go through if I take a strong and stern approach while you barely know English.

And what if you are lucky to meet a nice and kind and good worker with that rude note?!

I know I don't like answering phone calls.

But I pick up for people in my contacts.

I just don't answer when I'm really asleep.

I heard it but I rather continue sleeping.

Only if the call persists and I hear it again immediately for the second time.

Then I'll reluctantly pick it up.