I suddenly thought: Am I a keyboard warrior???
I feel like I am???
But like... I only make comments when I'm so annoyed by a character I'm reading that I can't help but despise them.
At least I say the reason why I despise a character and comment on my thoughts about their actions and personality and what would be more logical or make sense.
In reality, I might not explain as much but I would probably say it if I despise you.
Is it cowardly or polite to not point out everything???
I feel like if I really was straightforward then I have no concerns for what I'd say. But because I have these little thoughts, I refrain from outright saying it.
Well whatever.
I can't tell if I'm honest or scheming.
But I'm definitely not a good person.
I'm also petty but I have a hard time remembering so I can't hold long grudges unless I'm really resentful to the point I'm ready to kill.
But damn!!! My sister is even more petty!!!
She can hold a grudge for years and still remember to bring it up in an argument!!!
How impactful is it for you to remember?!
Even I can't remember. Not just me but sometimes others around couldn't either!
Only she remembers.
Oh! On another topic.
Is it possible for a vivid dream to replace a memory?
When think about my first relationship and first kiss, I can always retell one memory of it that I have...
But there are always discrepancies when I really try to recall.
Like why there's only one memory. Same setting and same action and same dialogue.
But I can never remember the name or face.
The surrounding is a real place. The age matches.
But that's where I get confused!
I'm too young!!! And my personality is not that bold!!!
And I refuse to believe that would be my first kiss on the lips with someone I don't even know or remember!!!!
Don't they say the first is always memorable???
Why can't I remember?
But then I thought... is it possible it wasn't a memory but a vivid dream I keep remembering and believe to have been real?
If so then fuck!!! Give me my first kiss back!!!
I'm a genuine helpless romantic!!!
I wanted my first to be true love even if we don't end up together til the end!
But this dream! Took it away!! And made it a believable memory in my mind!!!
Or was it all real???
Fuck! Could I really be that bold to kiss someone at a school playground in second grade?!?!
Crazy!
Nearly impossible with what my situation was at the time and my personality!
It must've been a dream!
YOU ARE READING
Diary
RandomI want to write out my thoughts as honestly as possible and try not to lie like I always do. Maybe by being anonymous will make me stop being a liar. I think it's a bit late to say this after publishing for about a month but I should put a warning. ...
