Multifandom Imagines

Shauna Shipman: Broken Pieces

Shauna's feet shuffled towards the meat shed, eyes cast down and blurred with tears. Her body moved with precision, like the path was etched into her muscle memory. The shed had become tethered to her, in a way that was rooted in her core. It was a metaphor for her love, her kindness, her vulnerability. It held more weight than the others could ever feel and yet her body seeks its comfort.

Her palm laid gently against the wood, applying enough pressure for the door to creak open. The familiar smell of decay and frost surrounded her like a warm blanket. It lowered her defences, encouraged softness that she has denied in previous weeks. She dropped to her knees, hands covering her eyes and sobs rattling her chest. The weight upon her shoulders solidified her position, rooting her to the soil below. Her body shook, grief finding an outlet, away from prying eyes.

The Yellowjackets were gathered inside the cabin, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside Shauna. They soaked in the warmth of the fire and talked amongst themselves. A eerie parallel to the party that could have been their last. They clawed at any semblance of normalcy, anything that could feel like home. They tried their hardest to forget the snow that fell outside, the nights growing darker and the rumble in their stomachs.

But not you, not tonight, your thoughts drifted to Shauna and where she had escaped to. She had slipped out somewhere in between conversations, without warning. Concerned for the missing team member, you gathered your makeshift blanket and headed towards the door. The cold bite from the wind wrapped around your warm limbs, eating away any warmth they had secured. Eyes scanned the area around the cabin, the darkness of night and sheets of snow blurred together. Shauna was smart, she wouldn't risk her life to navigate the terrain in this weather. That was when a noise echoed through the breeze, gaining your attention. Curiosity moved your feet, trudging in the direction of the meat shed. Another sound floated in the air, clearer than the last. A sob, followed by a sniffle, closed the gap of distance. Shauna was hidden in the meat shed and that's all you needed to know.

The shed door creaked once more as you pushed it open. Shauna's wide eyes looked up, narrowing at the sight of you. She had come here to be alone, left to wrestle with her grief and guilt. She did not need to be viewed as weak, as nothing more than a broken girl. Something akin to a growl rumbled within her throat, it was deep enough for you to stop. Not in fear, but in understanding. Even if the team were blind, you were not. Shauna had lost more than her fair share, more than someone her age should ever endure. She has started to push at the fragile tethers of the team, chipping away at what she had left. Distancing herself from everything that could bring her pain. It was then that you decided that you would hold space for her. A small piece of you reserved for vulnerability, for hope, for the idea of something better.

It pulled you closer to her, despite her vocal protests. She shuffled deeper into the shed, her back bumping against the rotting wood. It had rattled her, the fact that you inched closer, with no fear or disgust. It's what she has grown accustomed to over time. When you had closed the gap, there was no hesitation as you wrapped her in the blanket, sitting down next to her. Her body grew stiff at the contact, eyes searching for a motive. When your arms wrapped around her, she started to protest. Her hands pushed at your shoulders, her body arching back away from the contact.

"I'm here" was whispered amongst the chaos, a lifeline thrown at sea. "I'm here for you". The words struck a chord in Shauna, who has given up completely. She began to thrash in your arms, wanting nothing more than to rid herself of your presence.

"No" she stated, through fresh tears. She won't allow herself to succumb to this, she does not need help. She doesn't deserve it. She pushed harder, nudged stronger, her mental battle becoming physical. Your arms wrapped tighter, showing no sign of weakness. "I don't deserve this" she whimpered, her movements slowing. With one final movement, Shauna's head rested on your chest, your arms fully secured around her. Her body rattled with sobs, tears coating your clothes.

"It's all my fault" she chanted, her inner demons becoming known. "I'm sorry" she said to no one in particular. She broke down for the hundredth time, except this time it was different. She had you by her side, grounding her, holding her like she's worth something, means something. A feeling that she has long since forgotten or believes she no longer deserves. Minutes go by, maybe hours, time is irrelevant in the woods. Enough time has passed that Shauna's sobs have calmed, her breathing slowly mimicking your own. A silence filled the space, it wasn't heavy, it was welcomed. It allowed time to think about what to say next.

"Choices were made, people were hurt but that was never your fault" your hand gently ran the length of her back, in hopes to calm her. "This doesn't define you, what happens out here will never change the way I look at you" Shauna's breath hitched, her head tilted to look up at you.

"And what do you see?" She questioned, curious to know what you thought. She watched intently for any chance of falsehood or lies.

"I see a girl, who has lost so much but cares so much more. Someone who is loyal to a fault, even when her intentions are muddled. I see someone trying their best and that's all we can ask for" Somehow, Shauna relaxed further with your words, a twinge of a smile pulling at the sides of her lips. It was the first time she has felt free, free of the burdens that she carries. To you, she wasn't the butcher or the reason for Jackie's death. She was just Shauna, the girl who is trying to survive and that's all she needed. She needed to know that someone, somewhere was understanding. That they could see past the trauma, the grief, the guilt and just see her. She lifted herself, gaining a height to match yours. She leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to your cheek. The action caught both by surprise, unfamiliar with this nature. However it was what each other needed in that moment.

"Thank you" she stated, her arms wrapping around you, returning the hug you had given to her. The silence that followed was light, something that hasn't been felt in a while. It was nice as broken became the new normal. Old and new bleeding into one with no judgement. Shauna's mind wandered, worried about how long it would last before they all saw the monster she was becoming. One squeeze from you was enough to chase it away because for now, it was just the two of you against this fucked up new world.