Destiel one shots

Already His

Dean was suicidal. Ever since he came back from Hell, he didn't care about his life or its dangers. Sam first blamed Cas for that.

Cas gave him the false sense of security, but as years went by Sam realized how wrong he was, Cas never gave him a false sense of security, it was real.

But he also realized how Dean wanted to live because of Cas. Dean was extremely happy with Cas. He smiled more with Cas around—that small, crooked smile that barely reached his eyes with anyone else. He laughed. He looked forward.

Dean was Cas'.

Sam knows Dean would've died for him, he did, but dean would've lived for Cas, Cas made Dean want to live and when Cas died the first time, he thought he was going to lose Dean.

During the Leviathan mess, Dean drowned himself in work. Cleaning guns until the smell of oil filled the bunker, hunting until his knuckles were raw, Sam had been scared, but Dean kept moving.

When Lucifer killed Cas, Dean drowned himself in beer, Sam still remembered the sound — glass bottles rolling on the floor, clinking under Dean's boots.

Dean was Cas'.

Sam felt it the moment Dean told him and Jack where Cas was, the way his voice flattened, "He saved me", he said.

No shouting. No punching walls. Just that dead tone. Sam had seen his brother survive everything — monsters, Hell, losing Dad, losing him.

But this time? Sam knew Dean wasn't coming back. And yet... something was definitely different, Dean didn't stop fighting.

Dean was Cas'.

He was ready to finish it with Chuck and there was one thing that mainly surprised Sam when Lucifer and Michael came together.

When Lucifer called as Cas, Sam knew it couldn't be Cas, but Dean — Dean ran for the door before the thought even landed, that's when Sam realized: the last time Cas called, it really had been him.

"Where's Castiel?", Michael asked as they gathered and Dean didn't answer but he looked down, "I'm sorry", the archangel said understanding.

"He was a good soldier", he said and Dean looked up his eyes blazing slightly — the first spark Sam had seen in weeks, "He was so much more than that", he whispered.

Something did happen in the dungeon, was the only thought of Sam's when Dean answered that. 

Dean was Cas'.

When they had one off with Chuck, he noticed how Dean separately asked him to bring Cas back, he also noticed in their fight Dean was not fighting back.

When Jack took Chuck's powers, Chuck asked Dean to kill him, because that was who he was but Dean replied that it wasn't him, again surprising Sam.

As soon as everything went back to normal, or the right way it should be, Dean totally gave up. It had been months, "Dean, you alright?" Sam asked, catching sight of his brother staring at the bookshelves, unmoving.

Dean's knees gave out suddenly and he slid to the floor and Sam quickly held his brother and for the first time Sam became the big brother.

"I want him back Sammy, I don't think I can live without him", Dean said shaking and Sam hugged him close.

"Dee, pull yourself together, have you eaten? When was the last time you ate?", Sam asked, "Sam I can't do this, I can't keep going on", Dean said in a trance.

Sam didn't know how to pull his brother out of it so he did the only thing he knew, "Dean if Cas were here...", he stopped.

There were two ways he could've completed that sentence: If Cas were here, he would've healed you... or If Cas were here, Dean wouldn't have been this willing to give up and die in the first place.