Destiel one shots

Waking with the Dream

"I'm so sorry, Cas," Sam said, and it felt like the smallest thing he could offer in the face of this, Cas broke completely. 

Sam had never seen him cry like this—never seen him fold inward, shoulders shaking as he sobbed into Sam's chest like he had nowhere else to put the grief.

"I know and it is my fault, I shouldn't have done that", Cas said and Sam tried to protest, "Some part of me wanted to come back, that's why I kept the book outside for you to find, but still I miss him", Cas said cutting him off gently.

Sam stilled at that, the admission settling deep in his chest, "I miss what he could have been", he corrected his voice softer, Sam's own breath hitched, a sob tearing free before he could stop it.

He held Cas tighter, letting the silence stretch, letting the grief run its course instead of rushing it away.

"I want to give you something", he said quietly and Cas nodded wiping his tears away, Sam reached into his pocket—

"Wait," Cas said suddenly, "Sam, step back. Close your eyes", Sam didn't question it, he did as he was told.

Light bloomed behind his eyelids—warm, blinding, impossible, Sam gasped as it faded, his eyes flying open just in time to see Cas's eyes glow a brilliant, impossible blue before dimming back to their familiar depth.

Cas looked... younger, not untouched by grief, but steadier—as if the weight that had crushed him moments ago had loosened its grip, "Cas what was that?", Sam asked softly.

He slowly approached his best friend, Cas looked up at him, eyes flicking around the room like he was trying to orient himself in a world that had subtly shifted.

"My powers, they are back", he said getting up from the bed, Sam opened his mouth and closed surprised.

"By back you mean?", Sam asked unable to phrase the question right, "Like it was before I pulled Dean from hell", Cas replied and Sam's eyes widened.

That meant Cas wasn't just restored—he was that angel again, the one Heaven, Hell, and Earth had all learned to fear.

And yet—even now—Cas's hand trembled at his side, his shoulders were tense, his eyes, for all that power burning behind them, were raw and vulnerable.

Strength had returned, the pain hadn't left, "How?", Sam asked, "I think an Angel's grace never exactly leaves them, it becomes trapped—buried in the subconscious—slowly eating away at what remains", Cas said understanding filling his eyes and Sam frowned.

"That's why we weaken, but if an angel enters their subconscious and destroys whatever is binding their grace...", he swallowed.

"...they return to what they were, fully", he finished, "No one would do that, no one can kill their dream that is holding the grace", Sam said shaking his head and Cas nodded looking at the floor before meeting Sam's eyes.

"I can hear Dean's heartbeat outside, he is going to wear the floor out by pacing", he said a small smile peeking on his face and Sam chuckled.

"Wait with him in the ki-", Cas stopped short, kitchen is too early now, "In the map room, I'll come after I freshen up a bit", he finished.

"But you can just snap your fingers and—", Sam gestured vaguely, hands flourishing in the air, Cas chuckled, "Yes I can, but right now, I need cold water splashed on my face. I need to feel it. I need to know I chose this—and that this is real", he replied.

Sam nodded before going to leave, "Sam you were going to give me something", Cas said gently stopping him on his tracks.

"Ah yes", he said little nervously and pulled out the talisman from the pocket and showed it to Cas who let out gasped.

It was the rings, their wedding rings in the dream, "Thank you Sam", he whispered never taking his eyes off of them.

He wanted to ask how, but he didn't care, he was glad he had them here, "The least I could do", Sam said giving them to Cas.

Cas lingered over the rings for a long moment before slipping his own onto his left hand, Dean's—dream Dean's—he threaded onto a silver chain.

The same chain his Dean had given him years ago, back when gifts were awkward and unspoken things still felt safer, now, at least, he could wear it openly.

He removed his trench coat, then his blazer, loosening his tie before setting it aside, the weight in his chest didn't disappear—but something steadier took its place.

This wasn't running. This was choosing. Cas rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt and unbuttoned the first two buttons, breathing slowly, grounding himself in the moment. 

He let the ring settle at the center of his chest, resting there like a promise. He knew Dean, knew his silences, his tells, the ways love terrified him more than any monster ever could.

And he knew—now—how to meet him where he was, Cas went to wash his face, outside, Sam had just stepped into the hallway in time to see Dean pacing a worn path across the floor. 

When Dean looked up and spotted him, he froze—caught between hope and fear, waiting, "Is he?", Dean asked, "He is awake", Sam said and Dean let out a breath he kept holding in for a long time.

"He told me that he will meet us in the map room", Sam said, not meeting Dean's eyes exactly, "What? Why? We'll wait for him and then go to kitchen together", Dean said, trying to catch Sam's eyes.

"Dean—", Sam started, "Look at me Sam", Dean commanded, "What happened?", he asked as Sam refused his command.

"It's not my place to say", Sam replied, "Cut the crap, Sam. I know you saw something that broke you—the great Sam fucking Winchester doesn't look away unless it hurts", Dean said and Sam flinched.

"Who was he with? Meg? With some other Angel? Was he in heaven?", Dean asked jealousy dripping in his voice.

"Did he decide to run away?— Like he always does?", Dean asked, quietning at the last question and that struck a chord in the silent Sam and he met Dean's eyes.

"You don't want to know what happened in there Dean, and you really don't want to know who he was with", Sam said his voice protective.

"Try me," Dean said, closing the distance between them—and Sam knew this was the moment everything was about to break.