Destiel one shots

Always, in Between

The day felt heavy with tension, it was the scene after long weekday of shooting and the scene was filled with too many emotions for anyone's liking.

Misha stood across from him, already in character, eyes shining with that raw energy that always cut too deep when Jensen let himself really look. 

They weren't supposed to look too closely here. Not in front of everyone. Not when only he, Misha, and Jared knew the truth that no one else would ever understand.

Soulmates. Bound in ways words couldn't stretch far enough to explain. But today... Jensen couldn't even bring himself to reach out. 

His fingers twitched at his sides, aching with the need to touch, to anchor, to remind himself that Misha was more than the storm rolling behind his eyes. Just finish this, he told himself. Just let him get through this scene, and then we'll go home. I'll hold him until the week melts away.

"Okay everyone," Rich's voice cut through the silence, light but edged with command. "This is an important shot. Get ready. No messing it up... And—Action!", he said.

The word snapped like a whip, but Jensen's attention wasn't on the cameras or the crew holding their breath. It was on Misha, and the weight of all the things they couldn't say here, all the things they'd save for later when the world was finally shut out.

"And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me", Jensen as Dean said and the two shared a look.

"I'm sorry", Dean said and Cas looked at his hand then at Dean realizing and deciding, "Wait, there is... There's one thing she's afraid of. There's one thing strong enough to stop her. When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him", Misha said in the most vulnerable voice ever, but never wavering.

"You what?", Dean asked, Jensen's chest ached in tandem, because it wasn't just Dean anymore, it was him, too—watching Misha pour everything into this moment, knowing what it cost. 

He had told Rich to keep the camera on Misha, it was his moment, but God, it hurt to stand here and not reach out, not take him into his arms right then.

"The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever", Cas said and Dean's heart stopped.

"Why are you telling me this now?", Dean asked, but in his mind he was going, oh please don't let this be the end for us.

"I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it", Cas said with tears in his eyes.

They both looked deeply into each other's eyes, it has always been their thing, Misha and Jensen and Cas and Dean.

Cas and Dean from the start if they have a conversation, they always try to catch each other's eyes and same goes for Jensen and Misha, but this moment, even if would have wanted could Jensen have looked away because the raw vulnerability Misha bought made him freeze then and there.

"What are you talking about, man?", Dean asked, his eyes watering but Jensen didn't know whether it was him or Dean at that place right there.

"I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know", he smiled, crying now. "You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you", sad laugh as a tear rolls down his cheek, "You changed me, Dean", Misha as Cas said his real emotions seeping in, this was his goodbye to 12 best years in his life.