Bieber Struck

Justin Chapter 46

Life is good now. Life is actually great. I have friends who love me, family that cares, and fans that supported me. Although I didn't talk about it much, I was actually over Jackie. I was ready to move on. When she had broken up with me after what had happened, my life fell apart. Alcohol started tasting like water, and drugs started feeling like decaf. I couldn't tell if I was awake or dreaming. The people I began to associate with didn't help me at all, they just pushed me farther over the edge. I would wake up with a new girl in my bed every day and wish it was Jackie. The number of phone calls and texts that I sent her were uncountable. I couldn't take the fact that Jackie didn't know what had really happened and quite honestly I don't think she wanted to know. It hurt me for the longest time but one day I realized she obviously didn't care, so I should get over it too. I had finally moved on. I finally had new music coming out and was pretty excited about it getting released. But, I had changed. I wasn't that same lovable Canadian boy who everyone remembers all too well. I'm also not that snotty teenager who didn't give a shit about anyone else. But something was changed about me and I couldn't figure it out. It bothered me but I learned to live with it for the time being. To ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach, I began focusing on my music more. I guess the feeling was kind of a good thing because it got me to finally finish my album and and finish my first single, 'What do you mean?' So far, it's been a great success and people are accepting me for who I am. When I performed for MTV I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with everyone giving me a standing ovation. But, when I went home that extremely late that night I couldn't sleep. My life was great and everything was fine but something in the back of my mind kept nagging at me. I tried to concentrate on sleep but nothing was helping. I decided to go on my phone and check out Twitter and Instagram. I saw thousands of tweets about how people missed me and Jackie and this got me pissed. It's been years since we broke up and people just can't let it go. I went on Instagram to stalk some of my fan's accounts and saw pictures edited of me and Jackie together from her latest music video which I couldn't bring myself to watch, and a picture of me from the Where R Ü Now? Music video. I saw edits of us from when we were still going out and from both of our tours. I had to admit she still looked stunning. After looking for a little while longer, something inside of me snapped like a rubber band stretched out so wide it finally gave in just broke. I could've still been with Jackie if she'd just shut up and listened. I could've been completely happy. But that bitch just wouldn't listen to me. She didn't bother to answer my calls or texts she just turned around and slammed the door on my face. It was all her fault. She couldn't stop sulking and bitching to the world about me to pay attention and get her head out of her ass. She was the reason I was feeling this way. I just needed a chance for her to hear my side of the story so I could die peacefully. The anger had been building for years and I didn't have anyone to let it out on. I decided to do something I'd probably regret right away but I'm Justin Bieber, who cares? I found a number on my phone which for some reason I still hadn't forgotten and typed a single text message. With every word, I felt my breath quicken and my pulse race.

We need to talk. -Justin

And as soon as I hit send, the anger inside of me boiled over and I looked at my phone one last time. The text had sent to Jackie.

Why did I even think this was a good idea? She probably had my number blocked or her number changed. How could I be so fucking stupid?

With all the hate I had inside of me, I chucked my phone against the wall of my room. As if in slow motion, I watched it shatter into millions of pieces of glass tinkling as they hit the ground. The sound kind of reminded me of music. As the phone broke, I felt my anger drift away slowly. I didn't even understand why breaking something so expensive and important to me calmed me down but I was just glad it did. I had thrown the phone with such force that a dent appeared right where the phone had hit. I saw bits and pieces of my phone scattered around the floor. What was done was done now. I couldn't take it back. I had used up all of my anger in smashing my phone, and the fatigue was finally getting to me, so I just left the shards where they were and finally felt the thick dark blanket of sleep take over me I thought about the events of my life over the last few months.