Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

The World is Watching

The new millennium was here. It was supposed to mean a brand new start, right? The only time I saw anyone from Alice in Chains was when Jerry dropped off Lily. Despite our differences when it came to the band, we could agree that Lily was better off with either of us than Kurt's family or worse, Courtney.

I had hoped that a new decade, century, and millennium would be able to give me a fresh start; I also knew that this wasn't realistic. The media didn't help either. The guys who used to call me, begging for interviews started talking shit about me a lot. They talked shit for months. It didn't really bother me; it was nothing new. Until, that is, they found a new way to attack my spirit. They attacked my little girl.

"Hello?" I said, answering the phone.

"Layne, dude. I just picked up a magazine with you on the cover. Those guys are nailing you, man," Jerry said.

I was still in stock to hear from him, let alone what he was talking about. "What?"

"They're talkin' shit about Lily now and that you beat her up or something because you're such a junkie, somethin' like that. They're saying you're going to die and leave her."

"What the fuck? Really?"

I was so angry, so upset. I sat down on the couch and cried into my hands. I didn't care what they were saying about me, but now they're bringing my kid into it. It pissed me off.

I heard light footsteps getting closer and closer.

She pulled my hands away from my eyes and frowned. "What's wrong, Dad?"

"Nothing, sweetie."

She stood there for a second, not convinced in the slightest. "Do you want a hug?"

I nodded my head, feeling tears streaming down, and held my arms out. Instantly, I felt so much better. Who cares what a bunch of tabloids are saying?

My mom dropped off Lily again a few weeks later. This was the first time I had seen my mom in a while, who was angry about my life decisions. Lily ran into my arms. By this time she was already seven years old. She knew I was sick. I lost even more weight. My long golden brown hair was beginning to lose its color. I looked like a monster. She had pieced it all together. 

Mom followed me inside with Lily's suitcase. She wasn't saying much, and it hurt. She wanted to help me but didn't know how. Hell I didn't even know how to help me. It made for a quick goodbye.

Lily followed me into her room as I set her suitcase down. She opened her dresser drawer and I handed her clothes in little piles. She looked so happy. I got lost in her.

"What Dad?"

"Nothin'," I smiled. "I just missed you princess."

She smiled and it crept right into my soul.

"Speaking of princesses, do you wanna play Mario Kart? I'll let you be Peach."

"Dad I don't like Peach anymore. Now I like Bowser."

I furrowed my eyebrows playfully. "You like being the bad guy?" I asked, lowering my voice and crawling closer to her.

She started giggling. "Yes!"

I started tickling her. She fell backward onto the soft, white carpet. She laughed really hard. It was too cute.

"Stop!" she screamed and laughed at the same time.

"Never!"

I stopped and stared at her. Her curly brown hair was like a halo around her head, laid out on the carpet.

"I love you Lily," I said, kissing her forehead.

"I love you too Dad."

Lily started up the Nintendo and I got us some snacks and put them on the coffee table. When we started playing, she started beating me in the race. I wasn't even letting her win.

"Hey who put that banana there?" I asked.

I looked over and she was grinning. I reached over to her controller and pushed random buttons. She pulled her controller away and laughed. She still beat me.

Later that night, at around midnight, I went downstairs to get a drink. The computer screen illuminated the whole living room; I knew I had turned it off. I snuck behind her and looked at the screen showing pictures of me and all kinds of nasty comments about me from the magazines. The fucking internet was starting to make it impossible for me to protect her anymore. She still didn't know I was there.

Lily jolted and gasped when I touched her hand and moved the mouse to shut down the computer. I spun the chair around; she held onto my neck. Her soft cries shot straight into my ear. I carried her up to her room and sat her down on her bed before kneeling on the floor in front of her.

"Hey." I couldn't wipe her tears fast enough. "Honey."

She knew what was going on with me. She knew that some of those hateful words on the internet were true.

"Lil, I wanna tell you a story that I never want you to forget, okay?"

She nodded her head as her eyes sparkled.

"When I was younger, I played the drums all the time. Well, you know that I was in bands playing as the drummer. One day, I decided to get rid of the drum set and bought microphones and speakers. People me told me, even my stepbrother Ken said that it was a bad idea. Ken said that I couldn't sing."

"But Dad, you can sing! You're a good singer!"

"Thank you, princess," I said, taking her hands. "That's what I'm saying. Even though people told me that I couldn't do something. Even though people who I was really close to said I couldn't be the singer I wanted to be, I tried anyway. Honey, I don't want you to ever get upset because someone is spreading lies about you or tells you that you can't do something. If you believe something about yourself, then you need to do it and not pay attention to everyone else. They're just bullies and the best way to beat bullies is to prove them wrong."

She wiped off the last of her tears and latched onto my neck. "I love you Dad."

"I love you too, Lily."

"Everything's gonna be okay, sweetie."

She slowly picked her head up, tears still streaming down. "Promise?"

I got close to her face, stopped for a second, and kissed her forehead. "I promise."

People were going to say what they wanted. Because of her last name and the famous names associated with her, the world would be constantly watching her. I feared that some of their words would convince her of falsities. I continued showing her and proving to her that I loved you, because the media said otherwise.