Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

I Will Wait

In the next hours that Lily didn't wake up, I was a mess. I was terrified thinking I wouldn't see her again. She was dead and gone for 10 minutes because her heart gave out. Had we gotten there just a little earlier, it wouldn't have been as bad. Her stubbornness almost killed her.

This was, without a doubt, the worst 24 hours I'll ever experience, just like losing my mom... except the waiting game was much longer this time. Sitting in the waiting room, for hours, I thought about how her last words were that she wanted me to be happy. They wouldn't let me be in the ICU with her because I wasn't family. I just wanted to hold her hand. It pissed me off so bad. I was the one who carried her lifeless body into the emergency room.

Lily had to make it...she had to make it. I couldn't be happy otherwise. They restarted her heart and put her on a ton of morphine, but she made it. Dr. Chase revealed that she got a bad infection from a combination of steroids and Remicade that had spread throughout her body.

Even though she was still sleeping, I was so excited when they moved her into a regular room where I could finally be by her side. I heard a moan. It still hurt; I knew before she opened her mouth, but she was okay. She looked at me with a look of great agony.

"Good morning," I smiled brightly.

She struggled, but she put on a smile. There she was, my girl, my life, my love...everything. "What...what happened?"

"You got an infection," I said, squeezing her hand. "You're gonna be okay though. You're a fighter." I didn't want to tell her that she died temporarily.

She squeezed my hand very, very hard. "Bruno," she gasped, her eyes piercing my soul. "It's never hurt so bad before. I can't feel...my legs."

With all the shit she'd been through and how tough she was and how much she could handle, I couldn't imagine how bad it must have been. This was why we were here though, in Seattle. No one said it would be easy and no one said it would be quick. As many times as she wanted to go home, I knew that it would work eventually. She had to get better; she just had to.

"Rise and shine," Dr. Chase said from behind me with Jerry beside him. Jerry hung out outside of her room for a while. I had to convince him to come inside. We almost lost her, and he was still being bitter. Unbelievable.

"I need medicine," she pleaded.

"You're already on morphine... You're on everything I can possibly give you. I can't give you any more."

She forcefully collapsed on the pillow and let out a sigh with her fingers over her face. She was struggling.

"Why can't I feel my legs?"

"The infection is affecting the nerves in your legs. It'll get better but you're going to have to work on it, okay?"

I winked at her.

She pushed herself up with her arms. "Alright, so let's work on it now."

There's the fighter, the tiger, my hero. I grinned at her determination. Her strong-will just had to be redirected.

"Whoa," Dr. Chase replied. "Not yet. Wait until tomorrow and I'll bring in a therapist to help you guys, okay?"

She sighed, but agreed.

Jerry was making me feel uncomfortable. He was saying absolutely nothing to her and I think she was hoping he would. Lily's phone started to ring. I checked mine quickly, until her expression changed from bad to worse.

"I'm still in Seattle, sorry. I don't... I don't know when I'll be back in L.A."

A couple of seconds later, her voice was straining at every word.