Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

The One

For the second half of 2016, I went on tour with Bruno and the Hooligans. I had never travelled so much in my life and had never felt so good or had so much fun. I would have never been able to do it before I got Crohn's under control. Thank you, Bruno.

Our friendship was going to be okay, as nervous as I was before that it would fade as our romantic relationship grew stronger. It was still so natural for us to crack inside jokes and just talk about funny things that happened on tour. The tour was a huge success; nearly every date sold out, even the larger venues.

We did a few west coast dates before heading home for the holidays. On the last night, on the drive from San Diego back to the final show in L.A, Bruno and I were out of control laughing on in the back of the tour bus. Phil and Jamareo hung out back there with us.

"Lily," Phil said. "We love having you around."

"Awww, thanks Phil."

"Like soooo much more than Jessica."

I frowned a little as much as I didn't like her. "Hey now, that's not nice."

"But seriously," Phil said. "Like even the PDA with Jess. That shit got annoying as hell for us. It's like she took Bruno away from us all the time."

Jamareo nodded as his eyes got wide.

Phil laughed a little. "It's like you guys aren't even a couple. Like do you ever..."

Bruno's eyes widened and he made a funny face. "Like all the time! That's how good we are!"

"Like fucking sex ninjas!" I yelled.

The other guys in the band peaked their heads in and cracked up.

"Nailed it!" Bruno yelled with his hand up. We high-fived. It was a new thing we started doing a lot.

"Exactly, there it is!" Phil said loudly. "But seriously like you're so cool."

"I know," I bragged. "I came out of the womb and everyone screamed 'Look how awesome that baby is!"

"Oh my God," Jamareo gasped. "You're turning into Bruno. That was so Bruno. I don't think I can handle two."

Bruno and I smiled at each other. Bruno then jumped on me and started smiling and kissing me hard.

"Woah," Phil said, standing up. "Hold on ninjas...we'll give you some space."

Bruno and I just kept giggling and giggling.

_________________________________________

The year continued on and went really fast. Our relationship was exploding on the internet. A couple of sound hiccups on stage for them to really get to like her. Once they saw that she could handle any issue with sound and could troubleshoot any instrument on the stage, they were finally able to see what a talented person she was, which was one of the many things that made me proud to be her boyfriend, and lucky, so, so lucky. 

One night on the tour, there were some serious problems with the microphones, even though we'd thought it was fixed at soundcheck. I didn't completely mind that the show had to stop for a bit. I grabbed her beer from backstage, set it down beside her, and sat on the floor next to her.

"Thanks," she smiled sweetly, without breaking concentration. 

Even after looking out to the sea of people and hearing screaming and yelling, it felt like we were the only ones in the whole arena. We didn't talk for a while; I mainly watched. 

"You don't have to sit out here if you want," she sat, taking a sip, "...it's gonna be at least fifteen minutes. You should go freshen up in your dressing room or something."

"Are you tryin' to get rid of me?" I winked. "Do I smell?" 

"Well..." she trailed off, before laughing. "No...you are really sweaty though."

"Ohhhh..." I said, moving in to squeeze her tight and kiss her gently, "...but you love my sweat."

My fans cheered, screamed, and even whistled, but I didn't care. I continued to hold her as she started to laugh again.

In the fall, we hit up the European leg of the tour. Lily had left the bus and was in a store buying more snacks and beer. Phil was looking at the fridge and in the cabinets, taking stock of the food.

"Hey Bruno," he said. "I noticed the other day that Lily still takes pills? I thought she was better."

"Well she is. She takes a couple of pills a day still, just an extra oomph."

"But she has those needle things in the fridge too?"

I pouted a little and let out a sigh. "Yep. Those are basically what's really helping her."

"That really sucks. Poor girl."

I patted his shoulders. "I know, but it's all over now. She's better, trust me compared to how it used to be...she's a lot better now." 

Her overall demeanor was better. She was eating and sleeping and laughing again. It was all so damn perfect.

"I sure as hell couldn't deal with that like she does," Phil said.

"Me either," I said, leaving for the back end of the bus.

"Hey when are you gonna ask her to mar..."

"Shut it Phil," I interrupted. "I'm not rushing things. It's way too good right now I don't wanna ruin anything."

"Bruno..." his voice trailed off.

"It hasn't even been a year yet. Shouldn't we give it more time...just...being a couple and enjoying ourselves for a bit?"

"Oh come on, man. You've loved her much longer than that...just do it. She's the one. You guys are perfect for each other. I know you...and you're terrible at hiding your feelings about this kind of stuff.  You should at least start thinking about it, ya know? I know you wanna plan something really special. I know...I just know...that you gotta marry that girl...and whenever you come over my house...I just know that you wanna start a family...just do it man...just do it."