Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

The Rock Show

I punched a hole through the wall of her hospital room. Lily's panic attacks got so bad that she had to be hospitalized twice, in September. She didn't want to take more anxiety pills; she was giving up and so was the hospital.

"Whoa, Bruno what was that for?" Lily gasped.

I was sick of visiting her more in the hospital than her house. I was sick of watching her be so uncomfortable where even morphine wasn't enough. I felt helpless. Creepy guy bothers her in the bar? Paparazzi give her a shove? I'd beat 'em up, not that she couldn't do it herself. This was different. Crohn's was beating the crap out of her every fucking day from inside out and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Every time she accomplished something, she'd get knocked back down. Crohn's Disease can go fuck itself. Panic attacks can go fuck themselves too.

When the hospital billed me for the hole in the wall, I got an idea. I waited months for her birthday to give it to her...but it would be well worth the wait.

It was finally October and I was turning thirty. I was a bit more bummed about it than expected.

I was in the studio working with Phil and Ari. The new album was really coming together; we were mostly mixing the last of the songs.

Just a couple days before my birthday, Lily showed up at Levcon. The doctors ordered her to take some time off and surprisingly she was following through. Ryan took over Patriot Records for her.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked.

"Better. Much better. Thanks Phil." I didn't believe her. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I'd tried to picture her telling the truth, hearing her say "I'm not doing so good," every time someone asked, but I simply couldn't.

"I didn't know you were coming," I said in pure confusion.

She gave me an envelope. "Happy Birthday."

I was still confused. "It's not for another couple of days though?"

"I know. It's a little early."

I opened it and screamed. Phil and Ari started laughing. She whipped out her own ticket from her back pocket. I screamed again.

"What the hell!" I smiled. "A Metallica concert! No way!"

"The night before your birthday," she grinned.

I hugged her so tight.

"Thank you," I said, letting her go. "This is gonna be SO awesome! I thought it was sold out? How did you get pit tickets?"

"You're welcome," she replied, still giggling at my reaction. "I got the presale tickets a while ago. I'm part of the fan club so I used a code."

I laughed. "Of course you are."

On the day of the concert, Lily picked me up at my house with a six pack of beer. When we got to the Ford Amphitheater in L.A, we sat in the parking lot and had a couple of beers each in the bed of her truck. We were both so excited.

It was hot and we were in the middle of the crowd, toward the front. I linked my arms with hers so we could get closer to the barricade. I wasn't sure about it. She was dragging me.

"Bruno, trust me on this. It's my third Metallica show."

By the time the opening bands were done, we were holding onto the barricade. There were so many crowd surfers and people getting out of the General Admission area it was easier than I expected.

"I'm so FUCKING pumped!" I screamed into her ears. I was so excited. We both were.

By the end of the show, we had both caught a ton of guitar picks. I was so relieved that no one noticed me; I just wanted to be normal for a day. As we walked out with ringing ears, a few people did approach me and asked me for autographs and pictures.

We stopped at the merchandise tent. "What do you want, Bruno?" she asked.

I put my arm around her. "You don't have to buy me anything. The show was definitely enough."

"What do you want?" she asked again. "It's part of your birthday. I was thinking of getting a hoodie. Which one do you like?"

"Are you sure?"

"Bruno..."

"Alright...alright," I said.

She bought me the hoodie I wanted and then one for herself. We went back to the car and drove to get tacos. We sat in the car and ate and drank the rest of the beer.

"Hey," she said, pointing at the clock. It was midnight. "Happy Birthday!"

I could only smile back at her. She reached into the backseat with a little cake.

"Aww," I said. "You didn't have to do all this."

"Yeah I did, Bru. I'm sorry but I don't think I can make it to your birthday party."

"Why not?" I whined.

"I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to try out a new medicine. It's supposed to work better with my anti-anxiety pills. I need to rest after taking it the first time so I won't be able to drive. I'm sorry. I really wanna be there. I could postpone it until after..."

"It's okay, Lil. No I definitely don't want you to wait." I said, resting my hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, but I'll call you."

"No," she smiled widely. "It's YOUR birthday. I will call you."

For the next couple of hours we talked about the show until it was almost dawn.

Lily drove me back home. I got out of the car and walked over to her side, knocking on the window and smiling.

"Get out of the car," I said.

She just stared at me at first.

"Come on, just for a second," I pleaded.

She got out of the car and before she could even shut the door behind her, I gave her the tightest hug in the world.
I let go. "Best birthday present I've ever gotten. Thank you."

She was very skeptical. "The best?"

"Awww hell yeah. Just wait till yours though. It's gonna blow your mind," I said, widening my eyes.

There was a spark for half a second as our eyes met. I wanted to say it. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I chickened out. Those three words seemed so easy and at times like clockwork when I'd said them to Jess for all those years. Instead of telling her how much I'd loved her, I just stood there, feeling and probably looking like an idiot.

"Night Lily," I said winking.

"Night," she replied, giggling a little.

When she got back into her car, she blasted Metallica, of course. I hadn't made it in my house yet and heard it when I made it to the front door. I turned around.

"Metallica!" I yelled holding up my hoodie.

"Woo!" Lily yelled back, driving back down.

Her truck disappeared through the trees as she drove off. The automatic lighting turned off at the beginning of this new day.

"I love you, Lily," I said out loud as I continued to stand in the driveway.