Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

Identity Crisis

While cooking pancakes one morning, I heard a knock on my door. I finished putting the bacon on my plate, hoping whoever it was would go away.

Ryan and Bruno were the only people who knew where I lived but they were both away. Naturally I assume the worst and began imagining a serial killer at the door. Obviously it wasn't, but it was still one of the three people on this earth I didn't want to see. It was Mike from Alice in Chains.

He just kind of smiled; I've never seen the guy look anything but happy.

"Mike?"

"Can I come in?" he asked nervously. He barely made eye contact.

"Umm," I stuttered, looking behind in my dirty living room. "Probably not a good idea."

He moved past me and entered the house. I rolled my eyes and shut the door.

"How...how did you find me?" I asked, getting back to my breakfast. "I bet it was Nick."

Mike got very quiet. His eyes threw darts at me as I ate my pancakes.

"What do you want from me?" I asked harshly.

"I think you should come back and live with Jerry, or at least one of us. We don't like these guys you're hangin' out with and that way, you wouldn't have to live here."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Nope." They had no idea what I was up to or these guys I was hanging out with.

"Why are you living in such a dump?" Mike asked, looking around the room, obviously disgusted by it. It was so old and falling apart that even when it was clean it looked dirty. "Did you even look to see how bad this neighborhood is before living here?"

"Uh, this is all I can afford because I have no money," I said dramatically.

"Oh come on, yes you do."

I went into the kitchen to put my plate in the sink. Mike followed me in there. "When I bought my jeep I took out some money in my trust. I didn't check the balance, ya know. I didn't think I had to. When I left I tried taking enough out to find a house, guess what? I'm broke."

"You could always take out loans and stuff. You're making money now, right?"

He was acting very suspicious. He was asking the wrong questions.

"That's not the point, Mike. You're not curious as to why tens of millions of dollars just magically disappeared?"

"Look, this shouldn't be about the money. Me, Jerry, and Sean would be more than happy to give you some money," Mike said.

"I don't...I don't really care about the money. You brought it up. I'm happy just doin' what I'm doin', ya know, NOT being a fucking worthless JUNKIE."

I meant what I said. The trust fund money was dirty anyway. I'd rather make my money my own way.

"What?" he asked, extremely surprised.

"You know what I'm talking about. You were there when Jerry said it, Mike."

"Alright, fine. But he didn't mean it."

"Oh yeah," I said, angrily. "Well did he mean to complete neglect me and ignore me when I told him that my stomach hurt so bad and I was going crazy. Mike... I needed him and he wasn't there." I started getting very animated and ill-tempered. My fuse was almost out.

"Lil, he wanted to but first of all, you have an incurable disease. You can't blame him for that. And besides, he was struggling with the loss of a friend he knew for so long. We all struggled with that, ya know. Stop acting like you're the only one who lost someone."

I shooed him out. I tried being reasonable. I was done. You don't shove anxiety pills down someone's throat and then call them crazy for seeing dead people. I pleaded for years to get off those crazy drugs. They're all lucky I hadn't shot myself in those years or developed some real problems.

Mike knew something and he wasn't telling me. He knew where the money went.

A couple weeks later, at the end of April, I got another knock on the door. I was always a bit of a mess this week. The day before was the 9 anniversary of the day I found Dad. It was much harder than any other anniversary related to him or during Christmastime.

Once again, I was nervous to open the door. However, when I peeked through the crack in the door, I realized that I didn't have to worry. It was Bruno.

"Hey," he said, hugging me. "What's up?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, letting him inside.

"I'm back for a little while before I have to go on tour again and I wanted to give you something."

He was holding a box.

"Bruno you don't have to buy me things. Now I'm gonna feel guilty."

"Don't. Think of it as a very late birthday present. You'll like it."

I opened the box. It was a Nintendo poster with Bowser on that had been signed by the CEO of Nintendo. My reaction made him smile.

I lunged at him. "What the hell Bruno? This is so cool!" I yelled. My cheeks got tired from smiling.

"I'm glad you like it."

"But you guys didn't go to Japan?"

"I found it in the back of a pawn shop and immediately thought of you."

I went over to a desk drawer to get a command hook to hang it up next to my other posters.

"Perfect," Bruno said.

I felt my eyes water as I stared at the poster. It didn't help that I had already been emotional that day. Dad would have loved it. 

"Hey," Bruno said, placing a hand on my back. "You alright?"

I was caught in a whirlwind between my past and present. Dad's gone. Jerry, Sean, and Mike...well I wasn't gonna see them. Who was I? What kind of pathetic loser has nowhere to go for the Christmas? Waking up in this crappy house was getting old and even the studio was getting very, very lonely. I would always work with people in the studio and then they would go off and tour, even Ryan.

I nodded my head. "Thank you."

Bruno grinned and winked back but it was an awkward, dramatic, half-assed wink. It made me laugh. It made me smile.