Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

Nothing Means Everything

Bruno came over to show me Uptown Funk that fall. It was a new song he did with Mark Ronson for several months that he was really excited about. He and Jess were snuggled on the couch, about to leave.

My phone started lighting up and ringing. It was Jerry once again.

"...Hi"

"I need to see you."

"No you don't," I said with a flat affect.

"You NEED to stop seeing that guy. He's changing you. You're not the same anymore."

I turned around and still saw Bruno and Jess. I nervously shifted my focus onto the computer.

"Listen I gotta go. I'm busy."

I hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Bruno asked.

"Nobody," I said, putting my headphones back on. Nobody? Great lie Lily. He won't believe that.

Five minutes later, Jerry called again. I put the headphones around my neck.

"What?" I asked with a very harsh voice. It was just Bruno on the couch.

"You're just like your father...just being so damn selfish. You have no respect for the person who helped raised you and then completely raised you after your Dad died. Remember when he was too sick and I gave you a place to stay? Remember when you were bleeding all the time...ya know I was there too...and I never shot needles into my arm with you in the house."

I burst into tears. "You're such an asshole and you... you fucking know it."

"Hey," Bruno's soft voice said from behind.

I still didn't hang up the phone and just heard the yelling getting louder and louder on the other end. Bruno pulled up a chair next to me and sat there staring for a second.

"Lil, hang up."

I was frozen, my hand shaking. Bruno took my phone from me, checked the name on the screen, and ended the call.

"Ya gotta stop taking his calls," he said, rubbing my back.

I was speechless.

"Baby we have to go," Jess said from the doorway.

They got their jackets and bags. I tried to focus on the computer screen.

An arm wrapped around me as his big brown eyes met mine. His arms brought me into him. "I'm gonna be right down the road at Levcon every day this week. If you need me, just call, okay?"

I wearily nodded. I tried to smile, but I couldn't.

_________________________________________

I went home with Jess that night and then pretended to go to back to Levcon. I told her Phil and Ari were there and wanted to show me something, but that wasn't the case. I drove back to Patriot. Lily wasn't okay.

Her phone was near her and she stared at it. It was lit up with missed calls and texts. I lightly threw her jacket at her. She looked up with confusion.

"We're goin' out for some food. I know you haven't eaten dinner yet. It'll make you feel better to get some fresh air."

She sighed and grabbed her phone. I took it away from her. It was hurting her; he was hurting her.

"No phone."

At the convenient store, I went inside to get food. She didn't want to go inside. I handed her the food when I got back into the car. She was shaking. I'd never seen her shake like that before.

"Lil, what's going on?"

She cried quietly with quivering lips, barely able to eat. She put almost all of her sandwich back into the bag after only one bite and stared out the window.

"Lily please?"

She ignored me again. We were quiet the whole way back to Patriot, and when we got there. Her phone was ringing and she went into the other room to answer it. I listened, hidden behind the doorway.

"Yeah," she cried. "Because you fuckin' handled it better than me. You were shooting up cocaine and basically everything right after he died...why the fuck wouldn't his death wake you up?"

There was yelling on the other end of the phone.

"Yes you were!" she yelled. "Who fuckin' cleaned them up Jerry? ME. What? YOU thought you put them in a box and threw them out. Yeah FUCKING right."

I waited a little while after the conversation ended to knock on the door.

"Lily?" I asked, walking into the room.

She dropped her phone on the floor and I don't think it was on purpose. She was that shaken up.

"Hey," I said softly, bringing her into me. "Shhhh..."

Lily just kept crying.

"Lil, what's going on with you? I've never seen you like this. What's wrong?"

"Everything," she whispered, with muffled cries. I wished she would tell me. It was more than the Crohn's Disease and it was more than Jerry. She was hurting more than ever. She repeated "everything" over and over.

"Do ya want me to drive ya home? I can have Phil follow us."

She pulled herself away from me, shook her head, and then picked up her phone before heading into the other room.

"Are you sure? I don't want you driving home like this."

"I think I'm just gonna sleep here tonight," she said, shutting down the computers and sitting on the armrest of the couch with her phone still in her hand.

I took it from her and turned it off.

"No more phone for tonight, Lil. You need a break. Please just relax."

I opened my arms up and she smiled slightly before coming in for a hug.

"Thank you, Bruno...I really don't...I just," she stuttered. "Well...thank you."

"No problem. Night Lily."

"Night."