Misprinted Lies (Alice in Chains/Bruno Mars)

Us

We sat down for dinner later that night. Lily sat next to me, picking at her food. She'd excused herself from the table. After 10 minutes she hadn't come back yet.

I went to our room and she was there, sitting on the large bay window, in her pajamas already. Her knees were pulled up to her chest. The room was dark.

I sat next to her. She swallowed hard, knowing I was there.

"Lil?" I said quietly.

Her lips began to quiver.

"Hey..." I said quietly, moving close to her. "What's wrong?"

Her face, her eyes, everything about her looked so beautiful with the moon shining in from the window. I just stared, not knowing what to do or what to say.

She looked down into her lap, biting her lip. I saw a tear fall off her face.

"Panic attack?" I asked.

"No," she whispered as more teardrops left her face.

I thought I was going to be relieved to hear that, but I wasn't. At least that gave me the green light to rest my hand on her back.

"Your stomach hurts?"

I figured that had to be it since she hadn't touched her dinner.

Again, she shook her head. "It's neither of those things," she said taking a pause. "But soon enough, one of them is going to come back."

"And I'm going to be right here with you."

"Bruno you always comfort me...without fail. But that was as a friend. That was only when we happened to be together at a certain moment. I hurt all the time Bru and I don't want you to see all that. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be... "

"You?" I smiled. "Lily you're the strongest person I know."

She shook her head. "I know how important your family is to you...and even now...I...I took you away from them. Every time I get close to people, they get hurt and they leave because I'm so complicated and weigh them down. I don't...I don't wanna...I don't wanna hold you back...maybe I should just go home tomorrow."

That last bit stopped my breath. We still had three days left in Hawaii. "Lil, you're just as important to me as my family is, and that's been true longer than these past three days. You're part of my family. My sisters love you, and they're really protective about who I date. I don't want you to leave. I really don't want you to leave. That's one of the amazing things about us...we've always been there for each other...we didn't have to be in a relationship to care and love each other, ya know? Now it's just going to be...even stronger support...and we both need that."

She kept crying and staring out the window.

"You're crying because you care...you care about us. I know you do," I winked awkwardly on purpose, making her laugh. I'd go to the ends of the earth making a fool out of myself to make her happy.

Lily put her arms around my neck and I felt so relieved to see a little smirk. I carried her over to the bed. "I'm sorry, Bruno. You're right. I'm so stupid."

I slowly rubbed her silky and soft pajama top. "It's okay...and you're not stupid. You're a fuckin' genius."

Her eyes were red and swollen still.

"Stay here," I said. "I'll bring our plates up here."

We sat on the bed and I began to eat. She wasn't eating; she put the plate down after a few bites and looked at the food. I stared at her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...I...I can't eat now. I've already eaten too much today. It was really good. I promise...I just can't eat it right now."

"It's okay," I said, trying to smile. "We eat a lot here. I don't want you to get sick."

As we got ready for bed, she started breathing a little heavy. I shut off the light and got into bed next to her.

"Sweetheart, you really are hurtin', aren't chu?" I asked, pulling the covers over the both of us.

"Yeah," she said distantly.

"Listen," I said, wrapping my arm around her waist. "I wanna be there for you, no matter what. You'll never hold me back. It doesn't make you weak or anything like that. I just want you to be comfortable, okay? That's all I want, because I love you."

She nodded her head tiredly. "I love you too."

I kissed her forehead and fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up because she wasn't comfortable. Her breaths were harsh and her body was fidgeting. Until I watched her, I didn't know you could shed tears in your sleep. I thought sleep always looked calm. I held her a little tighter and tried to fall back asleep.

_______________________________________________

Early the next morning, I got everything ready. We were all going to the beach. I took out my pill bottles and put them on the bathroom counter; my stomach was killing me.

I felt his arms wrap around me and a kiss on my cheek. It made me smile.

"Good morning, sunshine."

"Good morning," I yawned, filling a glass with water.

I dug my toes into the hot sand. Bruno was walking back from the water from playing with the kids. Seeing a guy with kids is the most attractive thing in the world. I still felt so bad about the night before. Sometimes I just don't think.

He put his towel around his neck. "Lil, I'm gonna take a walk down the beach. Wanna come?"

"Yeah," I said, taking his hand as he pulled me up.

We walked down the beach, holding hands.

"I'm sorry about last night, Bruno. You were right. I do care about...us. I love...us. It's only been a couple of days and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Bruno just smiled at first. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me too."

We got pretty far and then got a little tired. It was a very quiet, private part of the beach. We sat down underneath a tree. I started shivering even though I was sweating so badly.

"Lil, you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Your teeth are chattering," he said.

"Yeah...I...I know."

"Are ya cold?"

"Yeah."

I was freezing even though it was in the mid-eighties. He looked so concerned; this was what I was trying to avoid.

"Here," he said, taking his towel off his neck and wrapping it around me. "It's dry."

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"You really don't feel good, huh? Wanna go back to the house?"

This was exactly what I was worried about, so I put on my brave face.

"No," I said, looking out into the ocean. "I'd rather be here."