Behind the Scenes-A Whose Line Fanfic

Stop and Stare

Warning:  Contains dark themes

At 9:00, Ryan and I left for a Whose Line taping.  It felt strange not driving with dad.  I walked into my dressing room.  There was a pile of letters on my desk.  I didn't have much time before we had to be in our places for filming so I didn't touch it.  "Anyone home?" Greg asked leaning on my doorframe.  "Yep.  How are you?" I smiled hugging him.  "I'm doing very well thank you.  I take it you are doing well," Greg confirmed hugging back.  "Couldn't be better," I replied.  We walked out onto the stage together and took our seats.  I was between Wayne and Ryan.  The audience was in their seats.  "Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway where everything is made up and the points don't matter," Drew began.  We played scenes from a hat, film dub, let's make a date, and helping hands.  I got to do a random scene with Greg where we pretended to be cheerleaders.  It was a lot of fun.

I went back to my dressing room to read my mail.  I opened the first letter.  The person wrote how I'm not funny at all and how I don't deserve to be on the show at all let alone a regular.  Another wrote that I made up my past just to get attention.  Others wrote that I should just kill myself.  I can't deny how bad it hurt to read that.  The past few months have been tough.  I want relief and they want me gone.  I sniffled quietly and forced the tears to come to a screeching halt.  I locked my dressing room door and hid the letters in my dressing room couch.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  The letters became true.  The sparkle in my blue eyes was gone and my wide smile had vanished.  I dug through my desk drawers.  I found my sleeping pills and razor.  My hands trembled as I held them.  I can't stay strong and fight anymore.  I'm not living, only surviving.  I'm not winning, only losing.  I rolled up my sleeves and stared at the scars my parents gave me.  They've killed me.  I traced over them with the razor and made them fresh.  It felt cleansing in a strange way.  I drew designs on my arms.  I took a handful of sleeping and swallowed them as if I were taking a shot of hard alcohol.  My body relaxed as I fell onto the floor.  I smiled softly.  Numbness delighted my soul.  The world slowly began spinning as I drifted into unconsciousness.

Ryan's POV

I chatted with Greg for a bit about some stand up work he's doing in the next few days.  Wayne said goodbye to us and left the studio.  I glanced at the clock.  It was 3:00.  "Wow!  I didn't think we've been here this long," I said.  "I wonder if Jennifer is still reading her fan mail.  She's become very famous between this and the Saddle Club," Greg thought.  We walked to her dressing room.  The door was closed.  "Jennifer are you almost done in there?" I asked knocking on the door.  I didn't get a reply.  An eerie feeling came over me.  I grasped the doorknob and tried to open it.  "It's locked," I informed.  "This isn't like Jennifer to lock her door and not answer," Greg frowned.  I found a security guard.  "Do you have the key to Jennifer's dressing room?" I asked him.  "I do," he answered.  I explained the situation as we walked towards her room.  "There's still no answer," Greg informed.  The security guard inserted the key into the door and opened it.  There was a collective gasp.  "Call 911," someone yelled.  Jennifer was on the floor in a pool of blood.  I spotted a razor.  I was shocked.  "What's all the commotion about?  Oh my gosh Jennifer," Drew yelled staring at the scene before him.  "Why Jennifer?" Greg whispered.  Paramedics rushed into the studio and immediately put her on a stretcher.  Greg and I followed the paramedics as they put Jennifer in the back of the ambulance.  Greg and I were given permission to ride with her.  Sirens went off and we raced against the clock to get to the hospital.

"Low blood pressure, shallow breathing, faint pulse," the paramedics shouted as they rushed Jennifer through the automatic hospital doors.  Doctors and nurses whisked her into a room and shut the door.  "I can't believe this is happening," Greg sighed.  I felt a pang of guilt in my heart.  "She went back to her old house to sell it.  That really shook her up and she was afraid something happened to Colin because he didn't get to tell her he was leaving for interviews.  We had a talk a few nights ago.  She told me she's been having trouble sleeping.  She needs pills to get any sleep.  Her past hasn't been kind to her.  I learned things that I would never have been able to imagine that happened to her because of her monster parents.  Oh Greg I should have done something," I shook my head.  "Even though you had that talk with her, that doesn't mean that she was in danger of herself at that particular moment.  I just wonder what happened today that pushed her over the edge," he replied.  A doctor walked out of the room.  "As you know, Jennifer attempted suicide.  She lost a lot of blood so we're doing a transfusion as we speak.  We found a high concentration of sleeping pill ingredients in her blood sample.  We'll have to pump her stomach to remove all the pills.  We expect her to wake up in a few hours once we get her blood back to normal and some oxygen in her.  From there, we'll transfer her to the psychiatric unit when her physical health is stable," the doctor informed.  He returned to Jennifer's room.