I Really Dont Care (Rants)

LGBT/I Drove a Freaking Car

OMG 

I HAVENT RANTED IN THE LONGEST TIME

I IS SORRY

LUCKILY NOTHING MUCH HAPPENED 

WELL IN THE TIME I DIDNT UPDATE. 

ALOT OF SHIT WENT DOWN OVER THIS WEEKEND AND FRIDAY 

So Friday was the Hoilday Tour and the top music groups all went to three elementary schools (Northampton, Metzler and French) and preformed for the kids. it was so cute when they started to sing and clap along. i had so much fun. In the morning everyone had to meet at NH and since my mom is a teacher there, she drove Beekachu, Kayla and i there. Trey got there a bit later, yet we didnt let him inside xD and just stood there with the door open talking. then Kayla says "Lyssie theres a lizard on your back!" and i like jump out of my skin causing the lizard to fall off and climb up the wall but i was like OH MEH GOOSH THERES A REPTILE OF THE SMALLEST KIND ON THE BACKSIDE OF ME. and the three of us took many selfies. Then we went to Metzler and at lunch after preforming. CHICK FA LA! anyways i was sitting with my choir squad (Avery, Savvy and Shamari) and my 7th grade friend Myah sat wit us and she was describing the girl she liked and she described me exactly and i pretended like i couldnt figure it out and it was comfirmed me and our friendship is still the same but like earlier today she asked me out due to losing oreo and i havent replied to any of her texts all day. thats basically why Avery found out what the secret was, and i am going to finally tell you all what the secret is at the end of this rant because it ties into what happened today. 

So Friday night i went over to Avyer's to spend the night with her and Savvy and we had so much fun. we made sprinkle brownies, talked about nightmares and dreams and shit, watched vines, Savvy and i talked about who we would ship people with if they werent dating anyone else (Lino and Stitch xD) and Avery and i stayed up till 2 am reading one of the best fanfic ever after Savvy fell asleep. Saturday we actually went SWIMMING IN AN ICE COLD POOL. but Avery didnt get in. she PUSHED ME IN. i died. then we showered and got ready to go to the mall. we shopped for presents for awhile, then headed to the food court. i had 2 cookies from Great American Cookies, my all time favorite cookie place, and a green tea from Wendys. Avery and i were alone until Savvy and her step mom found us in the food court. they ate as well. then we explored some more and Avery and i took many selfies with selfies sticks and we headed to Hot Topic, where i got a new rubber FOB bracelet. i love it! then my step dad took Avery and i home, and he and i went to dollar tree to pick up two last presents for my friends. i wrapped them last night, and all i have to do is wait for Nalani's to come in the mail and wrap that, then im done. 

so today my meme (which is what i call my aunt) took me to Starbucks and we sat and talked about alot of crazy shit: LGBT, the environment, people changing the world, books, my dad, Aidan, depression, grandma, self harm, etc. And she talked about how she didnt always make very bright choices when she was younger. and how she came out to her mom at 15 and how hard it was for her to actually come out and how we shouldnt be scared to come out. she also told me that my step dad thinks that being gay/lesbian/bi is a choice and you should try going out with a guy if you're a lesbian before you really know and meme said "Well how do you know you're straight? Have you tried going out with a girl?" and i was like DAMNNNNNN GET ROASTED and it is my new favorite reply. 

then we went to an empty school parking lot and i DROVE HER DAMN CAR AROUND AND ONLY HIT ONE CURB AND IT WAS BAD. I TURNED WELL AND DROVE AMAZINGLY WELL FOR MY FIRST TIME AND I WAS LIKE OMG IM DRIVING A CAR AND IT FEELS NORMAL AHHHHHH but i had alot of fun. 

so uh...the secret...

finally you get to know what the hell it could be. 

idk if im ready, but i know i should. 

so...meme was talking about LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) because my mom told her that i had come out to her as bi. i did. thats because Whiskers 2.0 is a girl. ive been trying to fight off these feelings since last year because i was scared of how others would react if they found out. and i think thats partially of why i started to like Thomas; to get my mind off the feelings i didnt want to have at the time. but i stopped trying to fight them and just let my heart take control. i came out to my friends first, because i trust them the most. and none of our friendships have been damaged because of this, and im glad everything is the same between all of my friends and i. but it was really hard for me to actually come out. todays society still thinks that LGBT is wrong in ways, even though same sex marriage is legal now. i was afraid of being picked on for liking the same sex. i just gave up and surrendered. ive come out to 8 people so far, and they've all accepted it, which made me feel good, like i could trust them. and next time the first person ill go to to talk about random deep shit is meme. No, i dont have a girlfriend. i have feelings for 2.0, no doubt, but i dont think she's lesbian. Oh, yeah, uh, i think i'm leaning more towards being full-on lesbian instead of bi. sure, i think guys are good-looking, but there's a distinct difference between thinking someone's good-looking and having full-on feelings for someone. and yes, ive had a few boyfriends to try it out, and it didnt really turn out well. male humans can be huge perverts and f*ck boys, seriously. female humans arent usually perverts. BOOM. 

so now you all know the secret. please dont hate me or post a hate comment in the comments. i am what i am, and it shouldnt change anyone thinks of me. i have a right to love whoever the hell i want to love, and if it turns out to be the same sex, who the hell gives a shit?! its my life, my obstacles, my experiences. 

so thats all for now! i go to bed now!

bye!

HA HURRRRRRRRRR