I Really Dont Care (Rants)

ALMOST 5K READS TYSM

wow...guys this is the 200th rant in this book...wow

i made a Maya edit...hehe

but i had to use the crappy editor without a watermark because the one i had been using to make the last few was just a trial and it expired...i hope i have enough money after Xmas to buy the full version...but its like $30-$40 so...

UGH THE INTERNET HERE I SO SLOW...THE YT VIDEOS KEEP ON LAGGING AND FREEZING UGH HOPEFULLY THE CONNECTION WILL BE BETTER AT MY MOMS TONIGHT

guys i am FREAKING OUT BECAUSE IN CHOIR ON FRIDAY I TURNED ON MY PHONE TO HOPEFULLY FIND AVERY AND I'S SOLO BUT I COULDNT SO I JUST LEFT IT BE AND I COULDNT TURN IT OFF BECAUSE THE SCREEN WOULDNT TURN ON SO IVE BEEN PHONELESS THE ENTIRE WEEKEND IDK IF PEOPLE HAVE TEXTED ME BUT IM WORRIED THAT I WONT HAVE IT TOMORROW BECAUSE I NEED MY MUSIC IF I DONT HAVE MY MUSIC TOMORROW AT SCHOOL I WILL DIE 

plus im also kind freaked out because Mrs. Kelley said that we're gonna have to sing our solos for the class this week...i mean ive gotten way louder and much better since last years s&e, but that doesnt mean im not still nervous! ill sing for a judge and Mrs. Smith (my accompanist) but an entire class?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!!?! 

but seriously im way louder than last year. When my group sang for Mrs. Kelley she could actually hear me over Avery and Madison, two of the loudest singers in choir. plus i think im nailing the crescendos and decrescendos. its just the low la im shaky on. literally, my voice nearly cracks because its so low. i am and always have been a second soprano. i dont usually do low la's in the key of c minor! f major, maybe, but this is just lllooowwwwwww!

so like i had downloaded and installed new editing software but its so complicated...like wth??? Y IS U SO COMPLICATED?! i didnt think it would be this complex...i just wanted to make a video edit...Y IS U HURTING MY HOPES???

GUYS BELIEF IS FRIDAY 

FIVE DAYS

I CANT WAIT 

only an hour and 20 minutes until i go back to my moms. hopefully my stepdad bought more candy corn. i have a problem with candy corn. there were two bags like a week and a half ago...now theres none...and i was the only one that ate any...candy corn is like music to me...im addicted...whoops...hahahahahahaha...ha..ha...*Farkle voice* HA! 

everyone is teasing me because of lethan (which will never happen because i dont like him like that) and im over here like "GUYS I ALREADY HAVE A HUSBAND" then theyre like "who?" and im like "FARKLE!"  and yes i know his real name...Corey Shain Fogelmanis...Born August 13, 1999; started acting in 2011 on the short film "The Maiden and the Princess" as an evil sibling...i havent been doing research why would you accuse me of such a thing?.......

so there's this website thats called Six Billion Secrets and i love it because i can anonymously post secrets of mine without anyone knowing who i am or what it means. its an amazing way to get stuff off my chest. Also there's Gives Me Hope and its just amazing. 

GUYS MY INTERNET SUCKS EVEN AT MY MOMS I MEAN ITS NOT AS BAD BUT ITS STILL LAGGING 

anyways i was bored and i told you i wrote an entire page on violence, so i thought why not  type it up for you peoples to read? And btw, this is just written in the seven minutes Ms. Schmidt gave us to brainstorm, and it isnt the paper at all. 

"When I hear the word violence, i think about alot of things. Abuse, bullying, arguments, drugs, power; all of these things cross my mind. I tend to think of my dad, what he's been through, what his dad did to his mother and him. I think of what my dad does to me; yet it may not be physical, I'm always petrified that it will get to that point when I step in the house. I think of bullying; what people have done to my friends, how they've made them feel. And I always think that I may hurt the bullies in various ways; but I never do.  Because I know it's wrong, and I know that it's not the intelligent way to settle conflicts. I think of death, how many people have died due to the intolerable acts of other people. I think of how it effects the families and friends of the victim; how the death effects the community surrounding the attacker. I think that maybe the attacker was forced to do it or under the control of some mystical force that hypnotized them to do it: drugs, peer pressure, experience, influence of others. I think of how broken this world can be; how people just want to flat out kill others for some petite, unreasonable explanation. How others do kill people for the sick game of revenge or just because someone did something they didn't like. I think that this is caused by many things: music, athletes, envy, jealousy, drugs, power, dominance, etc. I could list many more..." 

thats where i stopped. i couldve written a whole lot more, but we ran out of time. i have so much to say, and i dont even know if theres a word/page limit to this essay. i'm really excited for it. i finallt get to say what my mouth wont let me without really having to speak aloud. sure, im speaking through my words, but my mouth wont be moving when whoever reads this reads it. 

thats another reason why i love writing so much: i can actually say what my mouth wont let me. writing is my escape from this broken world, and it gives me the chance to open up my mind and spill out what ive been keeping locked up for so long. 

anyways ill try o remember and write in this rant book whatever i get done of the paper tomorrow. if its a rough draft i may not but if its not i may. 

okay so that reminds me i wrote some poems id like to put on here, and nobody really reads my poem book, so im gonna put them on here tonight, since i have the time. 

alright expect those soon! bye!