“Allison what’s wrong? You haven’t said a word since we left,” Lydia asked Allison as I listened in on their conversation.
“I’ve just been thinking about… stuff.” Allison replied.
What did Allison mean by stuff? Did she mean me? Of course she meant me, I had just attempted suicide in front of her. I would be thinking about how stupid I was too.
Slowly, I turned my head back to listen closer as Lydia asked Allison if it was about me.
“Because you know if you’re thinking about getting back with him the make- up sex will be totally worth it.” Lydia said to her.
I turned around and couldn’t help but laught to myself. It was hilarious even if I did actually wish Allison would want that. I knew she didn’t though. Allison needed her space, she made that clear to me. I had every intention to give her as much space as she needed.
As I watched Allison think, I noticed the tears forming in her eyes and I quickly stood up, and walked up the aisle kneeling down next to her. She was starting to scare me now. Why was she crying?
“Allison! Are you okay?” I asked her softly
“Scott! Yeah I was just. It’s nothing.” Allison said touching her eyebrow gently.
I guess she forgot that I knew about that. She still had the same tell. As if I needed that to determine whether or not she was lying. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt thought because I could see how much pain she was in. So, I gently caressed her hand and looked up into those beautiful eyes. “What kind of stuff?” I asked her.
“The kind of stuff I don’t want to talk about.” She shot back. Her voice cracked and now I could even hear the pain that she was going through.
She began to sob and my eyes widened. I couldn’t stand seeing Allison cry, I get the worst feeling inside. Especially when I didn’t know why she was crying? How could I help her? What would I do? I know I said I would stay away but she needed me! I couldn’t just leave her there to cry. So, I picked her up and took her to the back of the bus. As gently as I could, I set her on my lap and gently ran my hands through her hair. Although we were broken up, I still knew all of the ways to cheer Allison up. Unfortunately I couldn’t do most of them because we weren’t together anymore, but I could still do some. She loves when I run my hands through her hair; she told me that it makes her feel safe.
I didn’t want to say anything because I knew that I would ruin it and make her cry even harder, so I just sat there as she laid her head on my lap. I couldn’t help but smile at Allison as I looked down at her, she was just so cute. Then again, when was she ever not completely adorable? I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for Allison to look bad. I still don’t understand how someone as beautiful could ever pick somebody like me. It’s insane, but I’m not complaining. Allison is perfect in every single way possible.
As my eyes slowly closed and I started to drift off into sleep, I thought about her. About how we used to be and most of all how beautiful Allison is.
