This wasn’t what I wanted and definitely not what I needed. Tonight was supposed to be OUR first date. How could I even focus on the fact that that’s what it was when Stiles was going to be right there with us. Who knew what they had planned. Maybe this was just them finding a way to get together again without looking too suspicious. At any moment I could find them kissing again and I couldn’t handle that anymore. I wish Allison would realize how scared I am.
As I looked over at her I couldn’t help but smile. “You look beautiful.” It’s not that Allison didn’t always look beautiful because she did. It was that I needed to try everything I could to keep her. Allison left me because I was obviously doing something wrong. It might have been because I didn’t remind her how beautiful she is or all of the things that I love about her. I’m not sure why, but I am going to try my best to make sure that she never wants to leave me again. She can’t.
“Thank you. So do you. Well handsome not beautiful. I mean, well you know what i meant.” She laughed and I nodded with a smile. At least she still looked at me and thought I was handsome. That was a good sign right? She also thought Stiles was handsome too. I know that. Plus, he had his shirt off basically the entire time she was around him so I’m sure she really enjoyed that. Maybe I needed to be more like Stiles to make Allison love me in that way and no one else. Why do I keep comparing myself to him? I shouldn’t. I’m Scott McCall and that should be enough for her, but it’s not. I wish it was.
As we made our way to the ice rink, Stiles’ jeep pulled up and I instantly grabbed Allison’s hand. This was me acting out of fear again. If Stiles was here, she could run away with him at any minute and I needed her to stay with me. Lydia got out of the car looking beautiful as always. Nothing can compare to Allison’s beauty though. She’s the most beautiful girl in the world and nothing could ever make me change my mind about that. No offense to Lydia. It was different with her. Lydia is one of those obviously beautiful, in your face types of girls. Allison is so much more than that. She doesn’t have to try hard to look beautiful. I’ve seen her at her worst points yet the beauty is still so prominent. It’s like she doesn’t even realize it either. Plus, her beauty extends much further than just her appearance.
“Hey Scott! Hey lovely!” Lydia greeted us both with hugs which is refreshing to me. At this point, Lydia was the only person who hadn’t hurt me. I was broken beyond repair and she was the only part of this “date” that made it bearable to me.
Stiles walked up and of course we had one of those horrible moments of staring at one another. He looked sort of angry which I understand. I wanted to be angry at him too, but I couldn’t. The pain is overwhelming. All I feel is betrayal and fear. I’m competing against Stiles. Who was I kidding? Stiles was the perfect guy. He’s funny, sweet, attractive, and can connect to Allison in ways that I never could. There was no competition, he’d won before it even started. It was only a matter of time before Allison realized that too.
“Okay.” I finally spoke up to break the horrifying silence. “So I guess we should just go in and start skating. Let’s not stay too late though because I want some time with Allison afterwards. You know, just the two of us. If you don’t mind.” That’s what I needed. Just a little bit of time with just us. Part of me knew I wouldn’t get that for a long time.
That’s when she started laughing. All of our heads turned to look at her. I was shocked and confused. Was it funny to her that I wanted some time alone?
