As we searched through the files, one file in particular caught my eye. Earlier I had read about all four of the monsters that raped Allison and I learned that the blonde, David Tirk – who haunted both me and Allison the most—had been part of all 42 rapes, Fred Elder had been part of 33, John Peterson was part of 26, and Robin Stark was part of 21 rapes. Since Fred had been in nearly all of the rapes, I wanted to read more about him, I needed to see which one he was.
Before I could open the file, Allison took a sharp breath and I looked over to see her reading David Tirk’s file. It worried me a little bit that she was reading his because I knew how much of an impact that man alone had on Allison.
“You okay? You don’t have to read his file. I can get Stiles to do it.” I whispered to her.
“No it’s okay. I want to read it.” I had trouble believing her, and not just because I could hear her heart beat. She took a deep breath and I looked up at her. I shouldn’t have let her read it… But, I let her go on to read and that would be the worst decision I’d ever make but of course I didn’t know that at the time.
My attention went back to the file and I opened it to see the man that I had stabbed with my claws and watched bleed out on the sidewalk. I had killed him just before David. Thinking about this really wasn’t helping my impulse to throw up. The fact that the thought of Stiles and Allison being together was always in the back of my mind probably made it much worse. I was able to hold it back though. As I was going through his file, I saw a picture of him in a school. I went on to read his file and I learned that Fred Elder was a fifth grade teacher in a school that I had never heard of before. That’s when I started to think about how much more disgusting this man was than I had imagined, I mean the kids he taught were 10 maybe 11 years old and they had no idea that their teacher was a rapist! Wait… 10 years old… “Oh my god…” I whispered. One of his students was the ten year old that I had been thinking about since I learned that she was raped. Fred Elder had raped one of his ten year old, fifth grade students. I didn’t know whether I should be sad or angry, but I was shaking where I was.
“S-Sc-Scott!” Allison yelled and I looked over to see her crying and yelling out in pain. I was so distracted by the file that I hadn’t even noticed until then. She fell to the ground knocking over Stiles’ pencil holder and the glass shattered underneath her. My eyes went wide and tears started to flow down my cheeks. This was entirely my fault; I shouldn’t have let her read that damn file!
“What the hell is going on?” Stiles screamed and I couldn’t even answer him because one Allison needed my help and two, I couldn’t even speak even if I had wanted to.
I quickly ran over to her and hovered over her, my tears falling down onto her. I put my hands on her abdomen; I needed to take her pain away as quickly as I possibly could. I had never seen Allison in this much pain in my entire life. My eyes closed as I began to take it away and my breathing grew heavy as I tried to hold on as long as possible. The pain was too much and I had to let go and I yelled out in complete disgust of myself.
“Do something!” Stiles yelled at me, pushing me closer to her. Like I wasn’t trying! Stiles really needed to learn when to shut up, obviously I was trying. He couldn’t even do anything and he was telling ME to do something?!
I looked down at Allison to see her going cross eyed from the pain. I had to be strong, just take the pain and deal with it because if not, Allison would have to feel it and I could not let this happen again. I had to be her hero, I couldn’t be one before but maybe I could be now, maybe I could finally step it up.
“J-j-just k-kill me S-Scott… d- don’t have to t-tak-ke away m-my pain.” She began to sob and I did too. The love of my life was asking me to murder her in cold blood because of how much pain she was in and I couldn’t even help her. I was useless, completely useless. Maybe I would try one more time.
“Is she serious?” Stiles asked.
I didn’t have time to answer; I just needed to take it all away. So, I put my hands back on her and the pain shot through me. This time I would just take the pain, it would be okay. The pain grew stronger and stronger and I was about to black out. I let go again and shook my head, “It’s too much I can’t tolerate it! Damn it! I can’t even take her pain away! What use am I?!” I punched the ground as hard as I could and began to sob even more. I was serious… I was useless; I was doing nothing for Allison except making everything worse.
“Don’t s-say that. I l-love y-you. Just k-kill me.” Was she crazy? Did she really think I could kill her?
“Why would I do that?”
“Bec-cause you love m-me.”
My eyes went wide, heart skipped a beat and I took a deep breath.
