I’m just going to apologize for any of the errors i make in this chapter right now because I know I will make them.
I probably should’ve gone back to History but I really hated it. Plus, people would’ve asked me why I had left and I’ve already drawn way too much attention towards Allison. I mean, I told everyone that she was raped. Ruining her life even more, probably wasn’t the best choice. So i skipped. I just sat in the hallway next to my locker and thought. I thought about everything that had gone on between the three of us. The thoughts made me sad, not angry. There was no anger left inside of me anymore because I was overcome with pain and betrayal. How could they do this to me? Especially Stiles. My best friend. My brother. We swore to always have each other’s backs. Yes, I kissed Lydia once but it was because of the full moon and it was one kiss. Stiles tried to have sex with Allison. The one girl I loved. It was wrong and I didn’t know if I could forgive him. I missed Stiles though, so much. But not as much as I missed Allison. I didn’t blame her for what happened and I could never do that. It wasn’t her fault. If I was being honest with myself, it was my fault. All of this was my fault, but I was just searching for someone else to blame. Stiles easily became that person. But I still loved him and I still loved Allison. I loved her so much. She was everything to me. Everything. How had I gone that long without her? Without feeling her arms around me and her soft lips against mine… The bell rang and my train of thought was interrupted. I needed to go see her. She was with the nurse, I was listening in. So, I decided to go see her.
What am I going to say? ‘Oh by the way I still love you so forget all of the stupid things I said to you and kiss me?’ Yeah right. I would figure something out when I got there. I just hoped we would be alone so it would be easier for me to tell her what was on my mind. Although I would tell her no matter who was there. A sigh escaped my lips before I walked to the entrance of the Nurse’s office. It was no surprise to me when I saw Allison there with Stiles. It didn’t upset me, it hurt a bit, but I was just wanting to talk to Allison that’s all. When I walked there, I just caught the end of their conversation. “He doesn’t care anymore. How could he?” I thought about asking them what they were saying but we aren’t quite on the best terms at the moment and they probably wouldn’t tell me anyways. Neither of them saw me and I couldn’t wait any longer to talk so I cleared my throat to get their attention. Thankfully both of them turned their heads to look at me. I took a deep breath and faked a Smile at the boy that was once my brother, my best friend, but now someone I pretended to despise when in fact I still loved him. He didn’t look very pleased to see me but this wasn’t the time for that. A talk was needed between us but first I needed to fix things with Allison.
“Stiles, can I talk to Allison?” It’s funny that I had to ask that. I used to never have to ask to talk to the love of my life. Now that i ruined everything, I felt as if I had to have their permission to do anything. I probably shouldn’t have asked that. I shouldn’t have gone there, but I did. There’s no going back. I took a breath and slowly walked towards her. My emotions were gone and I felt numb. At that point I was like a ghost. I grabbed one of her hands hesitantly and at that point I didn’t care if Stiles was gone. All that mattered was Allison and making things right between us. Even if that just meant us being friends. “I can forgive you for kissing Stiles.” I told her. It was a lie because I had already forgiven her.
Allison’s mouth opened wide like she was in a state of shock. Was it that big of a shock that I could forgive her. Really? Obviously i still loved her. i always would. Why didn’t she think that?
“But I won’t forgive you for thinking that I don’t care about you. I have no idea why you would think that I could stop. Allison I could never stop loving you.”
She just stayed there, looking at mel. I didn’t understand why she thought I hated her or didn’t care. This shouldn’t have been a surprise. It was meant to be more of a reminder. Finally, she spoke. “But… What about…”
I stopped her. Not this. Don’t bring this up Allison. I didn’t want to get angry again. “I’m still pissed. So pissed. But I am more mad at him for kissing you.” I know it was my fault. I told him to kiss Allison. I’m the one to blame but I was hiding that from everyone, even myself. “I don’t know if I can forgive him I-”
Allison cut me off and plainly said, “No.”
“What?” I didn’t understand.
“I won’t let you forgive me but not Stiles. I am so sorry for what happened. I don’t know why I did it. I love you. Just you in this way. But I forgot that because I was so caught up in thinking I couldn’t be loved like you love me.” She rushed her words but somehow I understood what she was getting at.
“I love you Allison but how can I look at him the same way?”
“How are you looking at me?” She responded and I sighed because I knew she was right. “After all I’ve done.” She didn’t do anything wrong. Not in my mind. Maybe I was being naive and unfair to Stiles and myself. That’s when she lifted her hand and stroked my cheek. My eyes shut instantly and I inhaled deeply. I felt like crumpling under her touch, just losing it. That was the first time since it happened that she touched me like this. I missed her… so much. “Please forgive him. I swear nothing will ever happen between us.” Could i believe that? I just wasn’t sure. But I would try. For Allison.
I sighed and started to speak again, “He’s lucky I couldn’t live much longer without him. I was dying as it was. Dying to punch him in the face of course but I still missed his face.”
And for the first time in a long time, Allison smiled at me. She pulled me in for a hug and I couldn’t believe this. Her touching my face was almost too much for me, this was killing me. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around Allison and breathed in her familiar scent. I missed this. Just holding her in my arms. God, I really missed it.
“Where does this leave us?” She asks.
“Allison I…”
