Allison’s words had put me in a trance. I didn’t know what to feel anymore so I guess I just became numb. There was so much pain, so much misery inside of me that I felt like I didn’t even exist, I felt like I was a robot. I continued to cry as I sat Allison up and held her in my arms. If I was going to… do this, then I needed one last happy memory, something that Allison could think about in those final moments. I pressed my lips to hers gently and Allison broke the kiss gasping in pain. I wished that it could have been better, happier, but it would have to do. My mouth was moving slightly as I looked at her almost like I was trying to talk but nothing was coming out just loud breaths from my hyperventilating. I began to sob even more as my arms wrapped around her.
“Do… it… it’s o-ok-kay. I l-love you.”
I started to think about every moment I had shared with Allison. I thought about how much I loved her and how I would even live without her. Chances were I wouldn’t be able to, I would proably just take my life. Maybe then we could be together again. Although after everything I’ve done I doubted that I would make it to the same place. I would miss her so much. My sobs grew louder as I started to whisper in her ear. “I’m gonna make it all go away baby… I’m going to make it go away.” My hand ran down her hair gently, “I love you so much Allison.” I couldn’t control my sobs anymore and I screamed as loud as I could as my arms tightened around her. I couldn’t help the screams, I just could not take the pain of knowing what I was doing to her.
“SCOTT STOP! What are you doing?!” Stiles yelled but I just ignored him, I didn’t want to listen to anyone but Allison.
Before I knew it, Stiles’ fist had connected to my face and loosening my grip on Allison. It was like I had just been taken out of the trance and I looked up at him, bawling.
“Let go of her! Stop it! Try and help her but don’t kill her! I won’t let you.
Slowly, I let go of Allison and look at her cringing at the sight of her gasping for air and whimpering. What had I just done? I had almost killed the love of my life and now she was in even more pain than before! I couldn’t even function, I felt insane.
“The doctors said it was psychological pain from being reminded of the night she was raped b-“
“And you thought it would be OKAY to read the file of the guy who raped her?! Great plan! Next time if he isn’t dead I’ll help you plan a sit down dinner and they can share a nice conversation.”
I was in too much pain and was worried way too much about Allison to care about Stiles’ sarcastic remarks. I just wished he would take it more seriously. I understood that it was all my fault, he didn’t have to remind me even more.
“I didn’t think of that.” I whispered.
“Get her to think of something else! ANYTHING else!” he yelled at me.
I decided to make the decision. As much as it would hurt, I knew this was what needed to happen. “Kiss her.” I mumbled.
“What?” Did I stutter?
“She needs a distraction! GO AND KISS HER NOW!” I yelled at him.
I couldn’t believe what I was saying, but I knew that this would work. I had to forget jealous, forget about me and focus on the only thing that truly mattered, Allison.
I watched as Stiles pressed his lips to Allison’s and she held back at first. I had only expected a peck, but no, Stiles was going all out. The kiss was more intense than Allison and I had ever kissed, or at least it seemed so to me. She began to kiss him back and I watched as their bodies tangled together and their lips moved in sync, tongues touching multiple times… I couldn’t take it, I had to look away, but before I did a tear ran down my cheek. Thankfully neither of them saw the tears, I had asked them to do this, I shouldn’t have been crying. It hurt to see the love of my life kissing my best friend right in front of me like I didn’t even exist. I didn’t understand why they would do that. I couldn’t help it though because that’s when I realized that Stiles was better for her than me. He was the one who connected to Allison. He was the one who saved Allison, not me. Once again Sties became the hero that I will never be.
I heard Allison whisper, “thank you.” So I knew it was safe for me to look again.
“Oh… uh… yeah umm no problem.” He replied before backing away so that I could crouch down in front of her. I put my hands on her stomach and took away the remaining pain that she had. At the moment, for obvious reasons, I didn’t want to talk very much so I got straight to the point.
“Are you okay?” I said, almost emotionless.
“Y-yes. I was reading a victim report and I lost it.” Her voice was shaking. I was a little bit disappointed. Really I wasn’t owed one, but I guess I just expected an apology from either of them.
“Sorry I really should have warned you about them. It took my dad two days to read them all because it was really hard on him.” Stiles said to Allison.
I sighed, “Let Stiles and I look okay? Don’t worry about helping.” I said and then picked her up, carrying her to Stiles’ bed. She needed to sleep it off and I honestly didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. It would be best if she wasn’t awake to keep apologizing for the pain or something that obviously wasn’t her fault.
I walked away from her and began to look through some papers. “Thank you.” I whispered so quietly that I don’t even think Stiles heard me. I had to just accept what had happened even though I hated it. I had to accept the fact that without me everything would be better.
