The room was completely silent and Stiles was staring straight at Allison which I knew made it harder for her. I wished he would realize how serious this was and give her a little bit of space. I squeezed Allison’s hand gently reassuring her that it would be okay.
“Well umm I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been very different. How about six months ago I was suddenly quiet and uncomfortable around people and clinging to Scott like I would die without him near.”
“Like when you punched me in the face.” Stiles muttered and I almost went over there and punched him in the face.
“Stiles!” I growled. Honestly, he would just make Allison feel worse because I knew how bad she felt for that.
“Yeah like when I punched you which I’ve said I’m sorry about.” She took a breath and paused. “About six months ago remember how me and Scott had that date where we went to the fair?”
“Yeah the same place with the murders I was telling Scott about. What about it?” I couldn’t even look up anymore, hadn’t been looking at anyone but I was looking at the wall and I didn’t have the power to do that anymore. I just- I couldn’t, this story hurt me just as much as it hurt Allison.
“Well at some point that night I wandered off and got lost… I had left Scott eating and was looking for a bathroom… I was about to turn around when these four men approached me. It was too late to run…I-“ If you would have looked at me at that point you would have probably seen mostly pain on my face, pain mixed with sadness, a look that showed how ashamed I was. Stiles probably saw it… Stiles probably knew that I blamed myself.
“You can tell me anything Allison. I know we don’t really get to talk much and when we do someone is usually about to be killed but I love you like a sister.” I raised my eyebrow and looked over to see him holding her hand. I didn’t know what was happening that day I was just getting so jealous of my best friend. Maybe all of the self-hatred was making me feel that way. “We’re friends and you can trust me.” He said. Did he mean that or was he feeling something a little bit more than friendship.
“I got raped…” The word made my heart start beating faster and a tear came running down my cheek, hopefully nobody noticed, especially Allison, she didn’t need to feel worse. “B-by those men. I-it was Scott who found me. He took care of me and c-carried me to the hospital and was there for me.” I wished she would have stopped talking about me like I was some sort of saint. I wished she would have told him how I killed four men that night and that I was the reason she got raped. “I’ve been so attached to him because he’s the only person who knew and understood what I was going through… “ She wasn’t attached because she loved me? “I-it was Scott who killed t-them.” My heart skipped a bit and that feeling came back, the feeling like I had to throw up. I didn’t want my best friend to know that I was a killer. “H-he just got into a blind murderous rage when he saw me on the ground and knew what was happening. I-it wasn’t his fault. C-can you imagine finding Lydia like t-that?” Of course Allison was sticking up for me. She was wrong though.
“I would have killed them too.” Stiles glanced at me and I looked back down. As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew that Stiles could never kill anyone, he was too pure.
“Scott I know it’s going to sound weird but can you leave me alone with Allison for a few minutes… I want to talk to her alone… Really alone. Alone as in don’t use your super werewolf hearing to listen in.” What was he planning? Did Stiles want to make a move on my girlfriend? You could probably see the anger on my face, but I would do what he asked they didn’t need to know how jealous I was being.
“I trust you but don’t get ideas.” Was all I said to Allison before pecking her lips gently and walking out of the room.
“Why did you do that?” I could hear Allison whisper. Why was she whispering?!
“What I’m about to tell you nobody knows about. Nobody.” I was intrigued but obviously I knew. I was his best friend we tell each other everything. Maybe Stiles wanted her to feel better by thinking no one knew.
“Tell me.”
“When I was… about nine… I had this babysitter who would touch me… And I never told my dad or anyone… I just felt like nobody would understand and I didn’t want everyone to think of me as the little boy who got molested.” My jaw dropped mostly out of shock. This was something that even I didn’t know. My best friend who I had since as long as I could remember had kept something that big from me. I had shared with him that I was a werewolf and that my father used to beat me, everything and he wouldn’t share that with me?! The worst part was that I wouldn’t help but think about what Allison said before. She was attached to me because I understood. Now Stiles understood more than anyone, who he become her new man? Would she become attached to him now? I hadn’t experienced anything like that; did that mean Allison wouldn’t love me anymore?
I could hear them crying, “Yeah I get that… I don’t want anyone to know either. I’m sorry Stiles about what happened to you.”
“I know what you went through is worse but I-I thought you could m-maybe trust me or talk to me more if you knew that I understood.” I was right, this was happening. Stiles was about to take my place and this time he would actually be a hero unlike the one I could never be. “I didn’t have anyone to turn to.” How about your best friend for god’s sake?! “I never r-really was the same kid after that. I think my sarcasm developed after that as a sort of way to push people away.”
“Hey Stiles? There’s actually someone who does understand what I went through… I-I talked to her nearly everyd-day so that I could get through it without her I wouldn’t have.” All of these bits of information were starting to make me feel like maybe I wasn’t part of Allison’s recovery at all. Maybe I was just making it worse; maybe everyone else around me was better for her than I was.
“No, no, no, not her. Please not her.”
“Yes Lydia. I shouldn’t have told you but I think you should talk to her. She needs someone who understands her but she’s never willing to open up to guys…But I think the reason why is sort of obvious.”
I could hear him crying harder, “I should have known. She’s so scared to be in a relationship and doesn’t let herself fall in love. Jackson was her first love and that ended terribly. Oh god why her?”
“Why anyone?” I could hear Stiles’ crying sounding muffled and I knew they were now hugging. If I didn’t come out soon who knows what they would be doing!
I walked in slowly, “Umm sorry to interrupt... Err are you guys finished talking?” I leaned against the wall hoping that they would see how upset I was and stop flirting.
“Uh yeah we are. Just haven’t stopped crying.”
Stiles pulled out of the hug and I sat next to Allison. Although I was extremely upset, I was still worried about Allison so I wiped the tears off of her cheeks with my thumbs and kissed her gently. Maybe this would show Stiles to back off. “Are you okay?” I whispered. She nodded and I really don’t think she understood how jealous I was.
“So… I imagine you guys are here to figure out what the police know so Scott’s werewolf ass isn’t locked up.” Really? Sarcasm?! Honestly, I was about to punch the sarcasm right out of him. Did he not understand how much it hurt to think about what I had done?!
Part of me wanted to get up and leave but the other part knew I had to stay for her… for Allison.
