Allison’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking and all I could think about was how badly I wish I wish that one that had the right blood for Stiles. At that point I already had enough to worry about and Allison’s health was just added to that list. What happened? My life was so good before this. I mean, sure, I was turned into a werewolf but I also had the greatest girlfriend in the world who I love more than anything. My best friend never lied to me, I didn’t hate myself for all of the terrible mistakes I made. Now, it was like one problem was piling up after the other. Deaton once told me that everything evens out eventually, that no matter how good or bad something gets it will always even out. He was wrong. This would never even out. The pain that I felt would stick with me until I died. There was no way to fix me, some things are just too broken. You can only learn how to mask it. I had masked my feelings a lot lately so it shouldn’t be too hard.
"You shouldn't have given so much blood. After what happened, the stress has made your body weaker..." I sighed and continued to hold her hand. The worst part about having to deal with what happened was realizing that we weren’t the same anymore. This was all we were. Holding hands. It’s the only thing I felt comfortable doing with Allison. When she kissed me, it wasn’t like all of the times before. Every single kiss we shared I had felt this spark inside of me and this want for more, this.. love. It doesn’t happen anymore. She kissed me earlier and it just felt like a kiss, that’s all. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, it was the truth. Why? I loved Allison just the same if not more than before. It just felt like some connection we had before was broken now along with the rest of me.
"You're right. I know. I feel weak and it was a bad idea but you would've done the same." She’s right but I can also heal faster than she can. Plus she wouldn’t be freaking out like am right now. Allison doesn’t worry about me anymore, it’s plain to see. All she has time to worry about is Stiles. His pain may be something that everyone can see but that doesn’t mean that it hurts more than mine. I may have any cuts or bruises, but it doesn’t take away the pain. She smiled at me but anyone who looked could’ve known how fake it was. Why was she doing this? Risking her life for him? She loved him, not in the way same way as me, but some how she cared more about him than me and I wanted to know why.
"It's just you know... You're putting your health on the line... For Stiles." When Allison cheated on me with him I was confused, hurt, angry. I still was. Well besides the angry part. the pain took over. The one question that was eating at me, that I couldn’t get out of my mind was.. why? After every single thing that I did to keep her safe, to show her how much I loved her.. I mean, I killed people for her which is something I’ll never forgive myself for. I sang to her in times when I was least comfortable. I did every single thing that I could to ensure that she had a safe and happy life yet she still cheated on me. After everything I did for her, I want to know why? Why wasn’t it enough? What did I forget to do that made her feel like she needed Stiles in her life instead of me.
"I know. I'm sorry. He shouldn't have even been with us. I'm stupid to think that it'd be easy for you to be around him with me. Naive more like it." She took a sip from her orange juice.
"I would do the same for you. Actually no, I probably would give all of my blood if it came down to it. I know this means nothing and it'll take forever for you to trust me and I completely get it. I just wish there was a way to get you stop hurting. I hate hurting you Scott." Her and me both. It did mean something to me that she cared and she realized that It was going to be hard for me to get back to normal. In fact, I would probably never be normal again.
