Allison had pushed me over the edge and I probably shouldn’t have said what I did. I was so angry that everything started to come out. It was like I blacked out and just needed to finally get it all off my chest.
"W-What?" Poor girl. She’s so helpless. Plus, she has no idea what is even happening. Honestly Allison can be so stubborn and ignorant. She wants to tell herself that I don’t love her and that she isn’t everything to me, but we both know deep down that it’s true. No matter how much she fights it I will always stand by that.
"Fuck! Allison h-how could... how could you think that I'd be better off without you? I can't believe you almost just took yourself from me! Don't you realize how much I love you?!" I already knew the answer to that though. She would tell me no and give some excuse about how terrible she is for me and how I should move on. Maybe I could finally get it through her thick skull that I need her and I love her.
"No! Because all I've done is think about myself and hurt you. Just break up with me you deserve someone who won't make you go through all of this-" See? I knew it. I also knew that every word she was saying was completely right yet I still loved her. I told her once that I knew we were going to be together and I meant it. Allison and I were meant to be together so I wasn’t giving up. I was mad though and she deserved to know the truth. No more lies.
"You know what? You're right!" She is very surprised. Allison never thought she would hear this.. the truth. You kissed my best friend! All I did for months was take care of you! I was there for you for everything Allison! I gave everything and it still wasn't enough! I don't know what it will take to convince you that you are everything to me! I would give my last breath if it meant that you'd get one more!"
"You are everything I need. T-The only thing." The comment almost made me laugh. When did she figure that out? Before or after deciding to kiss Stiles?
"Seriously?! It took you almost fucking my best friend to figure all of this out? It sure didn't seem that way when you went on the ambulance with him tonight!" There it was. The truth. Now I told her how hurt I was about that. She probably didn’t understand exactly why I was hurt. How would she know that I was upset about her only caring about Stiles? After this something would probably happen to him or Derek would need me and Allison would want to stay with Stiles so HE didn’t get hurt. Who cares about my safety? No one. I looked down and my hands that were shaking and inhaled deeply. Needless to say, i was pissed.
"Scott. You don't have to believe me because I know I don't deserve your trust. Being with Stiles was a horrible mistake. I can't ever say sorry enough that I ever even considered him being better for me --" I know, I know. It’s not like I haven’t heard this a thousand times before. I got it. It still hurt though and it always would. I would never trust her fully again. That wasn’t my fault. She made a mistake and I can’t forget about it. I had forgiven but would never forget. All I wanted was for her to just understand. I wanted Allison to see what she was doing wrong and change it. No more double dates with Stiles. It sucks that our “first date” was that, but I can’t change the past. I just want Allison to go on a date with just me and to worry about me. I want to go a day without thinking about her and Stiles. She’s making that very hard for me.
"Just tell me why."
"Why what?" Allison didn’t understand.
"Why you thought he'd better? I have to know! After everything I did what was it that I did wrong?" I wasn’t able to keep my eyes on her. So, I waited for her response while looking away.
“Because he wasn’t there… I just hated being that girl. I just wanted to be Allison. I thought he’d help but… but he made it so much worse. I saw them like if they were there I-“ She started to sob and I decided that seeing her that way was too much. My arms wrapped tightly around her to comfort her.
“Allison… I can’t know what you want if you never tell me… I never meant to make you feel like that girl,” That’s what it all was about? So, it was my fault. I was right. “You’re still the most badass, strong werewolf hunter that I knew last year. I still see the girl who sucks at art and poetry. I wish you knew that.”
“So much has happened Scott. I think I just got lost. It’s so much and I can’t keep up. Ever since those men touched me I’ve thought there would come a day where you’d finally just break up with me because I grossed you out. After everyone found out at school my first thought was that I’d lost you… You shouldn’t want to be with me Scott and my fear of that happening… I was so scared of losing you that I chose to push you away! I’m so stupid!”
My hold on her got even tighter. Hearing her say all of that hurt me and her too so we both needed the comfort. It was hard to handle.
"It seems like we always end up here. The hospital.” I spoke in a quiet whisper. “It’s going to take time for me to be able to forgive Stiles. Longer to believe you when you say that I’m everything you need.I can’t spend one day without you and not go insane. I love you and that’s not going to change.”
“You’re not breaking up with me?” If anything she should break up with me for getting so upset.
“Because you kissed my best friend? No I-“ She cut me off.
“No because I’m the girl who got r-“ I did the same. My fingers moved to her lips so she would stop talking. That kind of talk would get her nowhere. Then, I reached in her shirt to pull out the locket and I placed a picture from the photobooth earlier in the locket. The date was a mess and I never want to remember any of it besides that tiny part. It was the only part that made me feel slightly okay.
“You’re Allison. The girl I love and that’s all that matters.” I stood up and pulled her with me.
“Thank you.” My arms slid around her waist as she spoke.
“For what?”
“For telling me the truth. I never meant to hurt you. But I want you to tell me these things from now on. Promise?”
“I promise.” That wouldn’t be a problem. i always wanted to tell her everything anyways.
