It Needs to Happen

Chapter 3

Colleen POV

My poor Joshua. One of his dreams was to become a dad and it may never happen for us, biologically anyways. He has taken the meds for the month and his sperm count is a bit higher. I see him washing his car in the driveway and bring him out a coffee. "Thought you could use this" I say passing it to him. "Thanks babe" he says not really looking at me. I grab his waist to stop working on his car. "Joshua" I say pulling his face to look at mine. "Lets try the procedure Ok?" I say staring at him. "I was thinking the same thing" he says hugging me. I hold him tight and we call the doctor back about getting his procedure done and to give this a try.

A week later Josh is in a hospital bed nervously looking around. "So Josh we found a blockage from your testicles. I was hoping medication would diminish it but this is our only option now" Dr Tammell says to us. I nod looking at Josh. "I hope this works baby" he says. "We will have a baby Joshua" I say as I lean towards him and kiss him. Two minutes later they wheel him away. God I love him.

Three months later Josh and I have been trying but still nothing. The next day I am going on a four week tour with Rachel to the UK so I am packing. He walks over to me so emotional. "I will be back soon baby" I say rubbing his cheek. I know its not because I am going away. Its because he is so distraught about the baby. "Joshua don't get discouraged. Doctor told you everything has to settle down so might take 6 months" I say. He smiles and kisses me as his tongue over takes my mouth and presses me against the wall. My skirt gets raised as well as one leg and he pushes himself into me with just his fly down. I stare at him puzzled but enjoying every second. "My god baby" I say staring at him as he pushes harder. "I need to give myself to you baby. I love you" he says and then starts to cry and falls to the ground. "Joshua baby" I say cuddling him on the floor. "Please calm down ok? I am not worried" I say cupping his face. "Colleen you are my world babe. I want to give you what you want" he says as he starts making out with me again. He kneels me down and comes up behind me as my hands are on the wall. "Yes baby" he says grinding into me as I turn around and stare at him. I lick my lips and he kisses me one more time before I hear his orgasmic moan. He leans against me and we lay on the floor staring at each other. This is so stressful for both of us. Maybe we should have started a family years ago.

I leave for my tour at the perfect time. Joshua needs space and to heal and not feel so much pressure that he has to get me pregnant. I kiss him good bye as Rachel waits for me in the car. "Take care sweetheart. I will be here when you get back" he says. I nod and kiss him and turn to walk out the door. We need to get this out of our minds for awhile.