It Needs to Happen

Chapter 40

Josh POV

I sit on our bedroom floor with Colleen once we get home. She doesn't want the bed so we prop some pillows against the side of the bed as she lays between my legs as we stare out to the backyard. "You are so warm babe" I say holding her forehead. She doesn't answer. She feels so terrible. I kiss her ear and hold back the tears. Her body seems to be rejecting the baby and its killing her and me. I rub her stomach as I rock a little tiny bit. Her hands are resting on my legs as I feel her squeeze my knee. "Pain baby?" I ask. She nods crying. She brings her knees up to her stomach as I continue kissing her. "We tried babe" I whisper to her. "You amaze me honey" I say tearing up. She squeezes my leg again in pain as I hug her tight. "Oh my god" she moans rolling a little bit here and there. "So sorry Josh" she says softly. "Oh babe you did nothing wrong" I say kissing her shoulder. We both sit there quietly crying. "I need bed now" she says. I stand up and lift her up. She places some towels under her in case she bleeds and crawls in with a tshirt. I cover her and sit staring at her until she falls asleep. As she sleeps she is getting sweaty. It breaks my heart seeing her like this. I feel so helpless. I walk out to the kitchen to see Rachel and Matt sitting with Lily on the bar stools. Rachel looks at me hesitantly. "Did it happen?" She asks. I shake my head no and sit across from them. "Josh at least she is at home now with us and not in the middle of the road" Rachel says. I nod and we continue to make dinner and function as normal as possible. I walk back after eating with a plate of food for Colleen. She is standing on the back deck off of our bedroom staring into space. I walk through the back door as she turns. "Dinner babe?" I ask holding up the plate. "Not now" she says returning back to her staring. I put down the plate and wrap my arms around her and rest my head on her shoulder. "It didn't happen yet" she whispers. I stay silent and hold her tighter. "Feel ok?" I ask. "Better now that you are here" she says. I spin her to face me as she sobs. "Baby stop... We can't do anymore" I say watching her. She rests her face in my chest as I squeeze her tight. Poor Colleen.