It Needs to Happen

Chapter 16

Josh POV

We are devastated. Colleen and I have been moping around for days. We just lay in bed and sleep or watch Netflix. We haven't really been eating either. Rachel has informed all of the family on our loss so no one asks us about the baby by accident. It would devastate Colleen. I walk into our bedroom and see her laying down staring at the wall. "Baby lets go for a walk sweetheart. Get some air" I say. She doesn't say anything. "I have everything I want except a baby" she mumbles. I nod and run my fingers through her hair. "We will babe. Doctor said you need to go on your shots before we try again ok?" I say staring at her. She says nothing. "Colleen please. We can't give up" I say rubbing her back. She breaks her staring off into space and looks at me. "I won't give up" she says. I smile and kiss her lips and we make our way to get showered together. We hold each other and cry until we are prunes. We walk out and grab some clothes and make our way outside and start walking down the sidewalk. The fresh air feels amazing. I wrap my arm around Colleens shoulder and she leans in as I kiss her head. We walk down a little further and walk by our park. Fuck...I shouldn't have come this way. Colleen does something next that totally surprises me. Instead of turning around or crumbling she pulls me towards a bench. I hold her tight as we watch the kids play. "One day babe" I say. "I know" she weakly says. "Joshua" she says. "yes baby?" I reply. "Lets go to that clinic I read about on the website a few months ago. We deserve this" she says. "We do babe. Lets do it" I say.

A few weeks later Colleen and I are on meds to increase my sperm count and shots for her antibody issue. Everything seems to be looking up. We have such confidence in our fertility specialists.I see Colleen come down the hallway smiling as she talks on the phone. I stand there and watch her laugh. I love her more than myself. She ends the call and looks at me slyly. "I like that look" I say giggling as I grab her waist. She leans in and kisses me. We stand there making out like it is a grade eight dance. "I love you" I say to her rubbing her cheeks. "Love you too" she says. "Lets go for a drive ok?" she says. I nod and grab my keys. " Lets drive down Imperial Dr" she says. I nod and grab her hand. I look over at a dealership parking lot on my left and see an amazing red Beetle. One that I dream about. "Lets go look baby" she says as she follows my glance. I pull in and we start walking around the car as I peer through the windows. "Like it?" Colleen asks rubbing my back. "Love it" I say. "I am so happy because it's yours baby. I love you" she says kissing me as she holds up the keys.