I woke up the next morning thinking about the dream I had of my princess last night. We were lying together in bed. I held her close to me, and I could feel her breathing against my chest, as she laid her head on it. I remember her saying something to me, but I couldn't remember what it was, then I told her that I loved her. There was a pause, and a smile lit up her face, even her eyes lit up. She told me that she loved me and we kissed. It was the absolutely perfect dream. It’s the best one I’ve had in weeks.
I sat up in bed, smiling. I’m smiling, and I feel happy. This is such an amazing feeling. I’ve missed it so much. But, how can I be happy over someone I’m never going to meet again? It makes no sense, but I can’t help that overwhelming feeling of happiness from entering me.
I pulled myself out of bed and then got dressed. I threw on a pair of jeans, T-shirt, and sweatshirt. It was November, and starting to get cold out. A week had passed since I last saw her, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her for a second.
I’ve seen the boys a little over the week, but nothing more. I haven’t told them about her, how could I? It’s just something you can’t tell someone. I can’t tell the boys that my plan was to kill myself, but I saved her instead.
I just want to know everything about her. Why is life so unfair? I just want her, nothing else. I don’t want anyone but her. It seems so cliché, but I am so in love with her, and nothing else seems to matter but her.
I grabbed my notepad and pen off of my nightstand. Over the last week I had wrote down little things about her. I would remember her face and then write down the small things I loved about her. I would sometimes just write down what was bothering me. And all of them were about her.
I grabbed the notepad and gripped the pen. I wrote down: I love how I can’t get you out of my head.
I set the notepad and pen back down on the nightstand, and then stood up. I really should go out and do something, but I just don’t know what. Maybe I could use some fresh air.
I grabbed a snap back and then a pair of sunglasses. I just don’t really want to run into fans today. I just need a day for myself. I put on my snapback, trying to cover all of my hair. I covered my blue eyes with the sunglasses and headed out.
*
I drove down the road, looking out at the scenery around me. Soon, I realized I had road downtown and had just passed the bar that the boys and I went to a week ago. That week when I met her.
Why don’t I visit that place? I drove a little bit past the bar, and towards the bridge. For some reason, I had this tiny hope in the back of my head. I hoped that I would see her at the bridge again. No, I wished that I would see her at the bridge again.
I parked the car at the street behind the bridge. I got out of my car and then walked down the street. It seemed like everything was replaying in my mind. I was imagining walking down the street in hopes of dying. It was so weird that just a week ago I was praying for death and now all I want is her.
I reached the bridge and walked down the sidewalk. I felt my heart racing, as I got closer to the place where I nearly jumped. Finally, I reached it. I glanced to the right, hoping to see her.
She wasn’t there. Did I actually expect to see her standing right there? It’s pretty sad; I’ll admit it. I just wish I could see her one more time. I just want to thank her, or at least get her name.
I sighed and looked out into the river. The noise of calls passing by in the background filled my ears. I’m just glad I can have some peace and quiet without worrying about getting caught standing on a bridge.
I glanced at the right again and back at the river. I gave up on waiting and walked back over to my car. Two thoughts were running through my mind: I won’t ever see her again. And, I love her.
