“Niall!” Emily exclaimed, I felt like I was still caught in my dreams, and I couldn’t escape. I felt Emily’s hand on my forehead pushing back my sweaty hair, “Niall, wake up, please wake up! I’m here, you aren’t alone.”
Her words eventually pushed me out of my nightmares, and I finally opened my eyes. I could see Emily’s worried eyes hovering over me. I finally pulled myself up, so I was sitting.
“Niall…” Emily finally breathed out. She looked scarred by what had happened. I guess she didn’t think I would have nightmares. I was kind of hoping that I wouldn’t either.
“I’m sorry,” I quietly apologized, running my fingers through my sweaty hair. Emily intertwined her fingers with mine, “There’s no reason to be sorry, Niall. It was a nightmare, you couldn’t prevent it.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I mumbled, the remnants of the nightmare tearing through my mind. I looked into Emily’s eyes, hoping that they would take me away from my mind for a little.
“What was it about?”
Oh no, I cannot tell her. She’ll realize that I was dreaming at Jo! I told her how I normally dream about Greg, so this really was different for me. I wouldn’t think that Jo and Asher would be the causes of my nightmares, but this is what my mind has become.
“Greg,” I lied. I hated lying, but the truth would hurt Emily. It’s better this way. What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.
“Niall, you don’t need to be scared anymore, he’s dead,” Emily whispered. No, how does she know! She doesn’t know what it is like to see your brother die right in front of you! She doesn’t know what it is like to have your family stare at you and wish that you wouldn’t have let your brother die! He is dead, but I will always be scared.
“Okay,” I mumbled. I can’t get mad at Emily, she had nothing to do with this. Besides, I know that it must be nearly impossible to give me advice about a situation like this.
“Do you want to go back to sleep?” she cautiously asked.
I simply said nothing and laid down again, throwing the covers over my body. I felt Emily scoot closer to me, until her head was touching my chest. I could feel my insides on fire by one slight touch.
I heard Emily’s steady breathing again, which lulled me to sleep.
*
Emily left the next morning. It had been a perfect night, with a bad beginning. Everything had gone perfectly the next morning, too. I already miss her, though.
Once Emily left, I headed back towards my room. I grabbed something to wear for the day out of my closet and headed into the bathroom. I stripped off my pajamas and turned on the shower water. I had realized later how bad I looked.
I stared in the mirror at my complexion. I looked absolutely awful. Bruises scattered all over the pale skin on my body. My lip was busted open, along with my knuckles. A couple different cuts were across my face and my stomach had a big purple bruise in the center. I had a black eye and dried blood covered multiple areas on my body.
I pried myself away from the mirror so I could wash myself off. I stepped into the steaming shower water and let out a deep breath as the hot water massaged my skin. I washed myself off and then stepped out of the shower. I dried off and threw my new outfit on.
I tousled my hair with my towel, trying to dry it off as I walked out of the bathroom. Then, I heard the doorbell ring. A frown crossed my face, and I tossed my towel onto the bed. I headed to the door and opened it up.
Standing in the doorway was Zayn, Harry, Louis, and Liam. I frowned again, “Um, hey guys?”
“Do you even see what the hell is going on?” Zayn exclaimed, stepping into the house, to see the mess of paparazzi outside of my house. My eyes widened, “I-I had no idea!”
Louis groaned and stepped in with the others, shutting the door behind them, “Do you realize how deep you’ve gotten yourself into, Niall? You’re all over the news!”
“Why?” I asked.
“Seriously?” Louis asked, “Do you even see your appearance? Everyone knows you beat up Asher and got him sent to jail!”
Oh right, that. I can’t believe I forgot about that. I had been so preoccupied by Emily, that my thoughts were only concentrated on her. I didn’t even think about how everyone had reacted to the whole issue I was in yesterday.
“Oh, right,” I mumbled. Liam stared at me shocked, “That’s all you have to say?” he exclaimed, “You are in the biggest news story currently, and that’s all you can say? Asher’s fans are going through complete breakdowns! No one knows what is happening and they are already making up things!”
“What have they said?” I asked.
“The Asher fans say that you’re making this all up. The Jo fans are in complete shock. They don’t know what to believe and they are praying that she’s okay. Now Directioners… they are going insane. Some are completely thrilled by the fact that you beat someone up… Some are hoping that you’re okay. Some are just freaking out. But, most people think that you’re in love with Jo.”
“Dammit!” I loudly cussed, now pacing back and forth.
“Niall, there are pictures of Emily going to your house and leaving today,” Liam informed me. I stopped pacing and stared at the ground beneath me. I squeezed my eyes shut and cussed under my breath.
“What is going on between you two?” Harry asked.
I didn’t know what to say. Should I tell them? I just went from beating up Asher to falling in love with Emily and having her stay at my flat for the night. I don’t know how to explain all of it, but I have to tell them that I’m dating her now.
“I’m dating Emily now,” I admitted, finally looking up at the boys. Harry’s eyes widened, “But, you rejected her at first.”
I sighed, “I know, I know, but I finally realized that that was a big mistake. Emily forgave me and we’re dating now.”
“Niall, I don’t think that’s a good idea to date her,” Liam quietly said. My gaze snapped up to his, “You guys can’t tell me who I can and cannot date!” I exclaimed, “I love Emily and I don’t want to lose her! We know there’s going to be hate and tons of drama right now, but we’re willing to overlook that!”
“What about Jo?” Louis asked.
I immediately froze in place. My eyes widened and I stared at the ground. Louis knows about my previous feelings for Jo. Thankfully, he told no one. If he did, I would’ve been killed by the media. Now, Louis probably thinks I’m the worst person for moving on so quickly.
“She’s still in love with Asher,” I quietly said. Zayn quickly spoke up, “Wait, you were in love with Jo? Well, we all saw that coming…” he mumbled the last part.
“How can you just move on so quickly?” Louis questioned. I sighed and looked up again, “I-I don’t know, I just did… I finally realized who was right in front of me… Jo refuses to speak to me ever again, so I won’t ever have chances with her. Besides, dating her would bring so many problems.”
“Are you sure you shouldn’t just wait a little. I’m worried that you could break Emily’s heart and realize that you still have feelings for Jo. Jo could realize that she fell in love with you and you would fall right back into her arms,” Louis pointed out.
“I-I don’t want to be without Emily.”
The boys fell silent. They finally realized my true feelings. I hated having to tell people about my feelings on love. They are mine, no one else’s. That’s the problem with being famous. Everyone wants to every thought you’re thinking.
Harry sighed, “Okay, I guess you really do love her. The press is going to get involved, you know that, right?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I know. I don’t know what to do about the hate. She’s really scared about it. I just wish I could tell her that it won’t happen and be honest, but I can’t. That’s what is sad to me.”
“Niall, you still haven’t explained the whole Asher and Jo thing to us, we’ve heard parts, but we don’t know if it’s true,” Harry said. Oh right, the Jo and Asher issue. Looks like I’ll have to talk about that now… the source of my nightmare last night, isn’t that great?
“Well, I went out and as I was on a walk, I heard yelling from this one house. I saw a lady standing at the door knocking, trying to get them to shut up. I walked over and started asking her what was going on. She talked about how this couple lived here and they always seemed to be fighting. She said how she thought their names were Ashley and Joe… then, she started correcting herself. And, I finally realized that it was Asher and Jo she was talking about. I was really shocked, but the lady at the door told me to go in to the house to get them to be quiet. I headed in and saw how messed up the house was. Broken items scattered the floor; everything was turned over. I heard the yelling coming up from upstairs, so I headed up the stairs and opened the door where the yelling was originating from. I opened up the door and there I saw them. Asher and Jo were there. Jo was hunched up in a corner, as Asher screamed at her. Ashton fell silent when he noticed that Jo was staring at me. He turned around and saw that I was standing there. Asher tried to act like he didn’t do anything to her, but I realized that he had raped and abused her. I was pissed. Asher called Jo something like his property… he said that she belonged to him, and I just snapped… I tackled him to the ground and started beating up Asher. Well, we were cussing each other out and we both hitting each other. Jo was desperately trying to break it up, but I didn’t stop until Asher was unconscious. Then, Jo got really mad at me. She started yelling about how she was in love with Asher and I shouldn’t have hurt him. So, she still loves him after all that abuse.”
“Wow,” Louis simply said after my long story, “Now, that was a long day…”
“I know,” I mumbled, running my fingers through my wet hair. I let out a sigh and walked further into my house, with the boys trailing closely behind me.
“I-I don’t know what to do,” I stuttered out, as I paced around the couches. Harry walked over to me, “It will be fine-” he began, but I quickly interrupted, “It’s not!” I exclaimed, “I ruined this up big time, but at the same time I don’t regret it at all!”
“Niall-” Liam began, but I interrupted, so I could continue talking, “Do you know what it’s like to see a girl who was pressed against a wall, cowering as her boyfriend tried to beat her up and rape her? I can’t stop thinking about it! She had tried to tell me before! She came to my house crying before she told me she was depressed, but I didn’t even put the pieces together! It took me so long to realize what was going on! She had broken her arm and ankle before and I believed it! It was that damn Asher! I’m so god damn happy that I knocked him out! He deserved it, but my whole damn like is revolved around the press! I can’t do anything without everyone judging my every move! I don’t regret beating up Asher and calling the police at all, but now my life is messed up! Jo won’t ever speak to me again at the time she needs a shoulder to cry on… I don’t even know if I can be that person anymore. I’m dating Emily now, what if she gets jealous? But, I can’t leave Jo all alone. Now, I don’t get a choice!”
“Niall… we had no idea,” Zayn quietly said. I sighed and plopped down on the couch behind me, “That was the point.”
“Do you love Jo?” Louis asked. My gaze immediately snapped up to his, “Huh?” I asked, even though I clearly knew what he meant. I really didn’t know how to answer that. My mind was such a disorganized place, I couldn’t think correctly.
“You know what I mean.”
“I-I don’t know,” I groaned, covering my face with my hands, “I don’t know what to think. I love Jo, but it isn’t the same anymore. I want to only be friends with her, and that’s what she wanted, too, so I guess it is good, right? She won’t be able to move on from Asher. Besides, I’m dating Emily now.”
“I’m worried you’ll hurt her,” Harry said. I bit my lip. What would happen if I found out Jo was in love with me? I don’t know… but I do know that I am in love with Emily; there’s no doubt about that. I just don’t want to think of Emily as a backup. She means a lot to me.
“I love Emily… but I’m worried about my feelings for Jo.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be with Emily. Maybe you should wait a little,” Harry suggested. I shook my head, looking up at him, “No, I can’t do that. I really can’t reject her twice. My feelings with Emily are real, I can’t deny that. I felt the same way I did… when I was desperately in love with Jo.”
“It’s your decision, Ni,” Zayn replied, “Do whatever you think is right.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I brought my bottom lip between my teeth, as I remained deep in thought. Everything was coming down all at once, and I didn’t know what to do. My meet-up with the press and fans is going to be scary. I don’t know what to do, but I do know that I’m going to stay with Emily.
“I think you’ll need some time to take this all in, so we’re going to leave you alone,” Louis said. I nodded, grateful that they understood I was going through a lot right now.
We said our goodbyes and the boys walked out the door, filling the room with camera flashes and yells as soon as they walked out.
I walked back into my room and opened up the nightstand drawer. I could see the notes over piling inside. I pulled them all up and sat on the edge of my bed with them in my hands.
I read through each note, reading every single word. I don’t know why I did, but I just needed to know what I felt with both girls. I’m scared that I will break Emily’s heart. I don’t want to hurt her. She means so much to me. But Jo is hard to get over.
I glanced at the wastebasket. I considered throwing them all away, but instead I shoved them back in the nightstand. My thoughts during all of this was to forget about Jo, but I can’t. I don’t think I should, either. I can’t forget someone who saved my life. She effected me so much, but sometimes you have to realize that the person you think so much of might be a bad idea. Sometimes you have to move on and go for someone better.
I am in love with Emily. There is no denying it. But, Jo keeps slipping into my thoughts. They both mean a lot to me, but I want to date Emily. I’m going to keep dating Emily. And Jo… I want to become friends with her again. I don’t know how, but I’m going to find a way.
Longer chapter, yay! Okay, well I have school tomorrow just ew. Keep commenting! I love your comments so much! Okay, here's the question for this chapter, which couple do you ship? Emily and Niall or Jo and Niall? tell me what you think! Okay, well, comment, follow, vote (Every chapter), tweet, facebook like, and share! Bye lovelies
~Lydia ♥
