I immediately pulled my hood up and put on a pair of fake glasses, when I was nearing the street. I wore an old sweatshirt and pair of fading jeans; I couldn’t wear anything that stuck out. I kept my hair natural, not putting it in a quiff. I had to look like an every day person here in this part of town.
I parked in front of the usual place. I’d been here three times now, but it was so vividly familiar. Like I had said, it was branded into my mind.
I could see a car parked a little bit farther down the road; that was Jo’s car. We couldn’t park too close to the house that would be too obvious. We really had thought out everything.
I parked a couple spaces away from the house, but I could already feel its eerie aura. I wanted to go in, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t let myself out, especially in the company of other people. It was all so dangerous here.
I saw a familiar small figure walk up to the house. She unlocked the door and walked in, closing the door behind her. I had to wait at least three minutes before walking in. We couldn’t have people seeing us.
Three minutes passed and then I was allowed to go in. The gravel still crunched under my feet, the essence of the house still filled my pores, and the cold breeze still felt stronger in this area.
I pushed open the door, which Jo made sure was unlocked. We had perfected our system through multiple texts. We had to make sure nothing went wrong or else that would be the end for both of us.
I walked in, quickly closing the door behind me. I didn’t see Jo standing right by the door, so I assumed that she was somewhere else in the house, most likely in the upstairs’ room. That was our room now.
I walked further into the room. I was almost surprised when I saw Jo in the kitchen. She was staring at a small photo that was on the fridge. I took a few steps closer, to try and see what she was looking at.
It was a tiny picture of Asher and her together. They were both close together in the picture. Asher’s arm was wrapped around her waist as he held the camera in front of the both of them. They were both happy (assumed by their faces in the picture) and they were smiling.
“When was that?” I asked.
Jo instantly spun around and balled the fabric above her heart, “Oh God, Niall! I didn’t hear you come in!” she gasped for breath. She pressed her back against the fridge, now hiding the picture. I knew she did that on purpose.
“Do you like that picture?” I asked.
Jo sighed, giving up. She realized that I knew, so she stopped hiding the picture. The picture was pulled out from under the magnet and Jo hid it in her hand, “I guess I do…” she mumbled.
“Were you happy then?” I curiously asked. I leaned against the island behind my back.
“Yeah,” Jo quietly said. She held the picture in front of her. It was by her thigh, so she stared down at it, “Yeah, we were happy, well, at least I was. I’m not so sure about Asher. I hope he was happy, too. It was a time when we were first dating, before… anything happened.”
I wanted to talk more about it, but Jo set the picture under the magnet again and strutted out of the kitchen, like she owned the world. She’s acting professional and over-confident again. I hate it.
I reluctantly followed behind her up the stairs.
It was a usual process: I would follow behind Jo, who was urgent to get up to ‘our’ room. I’d listen to the stairs creak under my old tennis shoes I wore for my disguise. I listened to what the spirits were saying and ached to reply. I’d reach the door and would be the one to lock the door behind us; we had to keep everything in.
I leaned against the locked door and crossed my feet over one another. Jo stood in what seemed to be the center of the room. I was a bit confused by where she chose to stand.
I’m surprised that I didn’t ever acknowledge the items in the room. They seemed to always disappear because of the spiritual state both of us were in.
There was a bed in the center of the room; the back of its headboard was pressed against the back wall. The room seemed to revolve around the bed. The nightstand was about a foot away from the right of the bed. There wasn’t a lamp on the nightstand anymore; the remnants of the shattered lamp lay scattered over the floor. The broken items that littered the floor were a result of Asher. There was three rugs on each side of the bed, minus the back headboard, they were all identical. There was a closet to the left of the room and a bathroom to the right. There was a dresser on the front wall, to the right of the door. And… that was it.
The room was so simple. It was a bed, three rugs, a nightstand, dresser, and two doors connecting to the bathroom and the closet. The room surrounded the bed, which had a black duvet with maroon/red pillows. It almost looked like a bed from hell.
I started to understand why Jo was standing in the middle of the room; there was nowhere to sit.
“Do you hate it in here?” I asked her.
“Not anymore,” Jo breathed out. I saw her foot reach out to take a step, but she refrained herself, sliding her foot back to her other one. She wants me to make the first step.
I took a step closer, “Have you visited Asher?” I asked. I was saying such simple things when we were thinking such deep thoughts.
“Yeah,” Jo whispered, staring at her feet.
“How did it go?”
“Well,” Jo began, staring at her, apparently very interesting, feet, “We just talked normally. He talked more than me again. But… this time I told him that I loved him before the visit ended.”
She told him she loved him, the walls whispered. The souls chorused, And he told that girl that he loved her!
My toes curled inside of my tennis shoes. I wanted to clench my fists, but that would be visible. I felt like the walls were closing as they chanted:
She told him she loved him, the walls whispered. The souls chorused, And he told that girl that he loved her!
I squeezed my eyes shut for a brief second, but was interrupted by Jo’s voice, “What about Emily?” she asked. “Have you talked to her recently?”
I immediately reopened my eyes, “Yes, of course,” I quickly sputtered out, “I visit her each day. We always hang out when we can; we are dating after all. And, I also tell her that I love her.”
Did I just turn this into some sort of competition? Why in the world would I do that? My body told me that I needed to tell her that. She had to know that I still loved my girlfriend. I love her with all my heart.
Jo had a blank look on her face. She blinked and quickly washed it away, “Are you coming to my movie premiere tonight with the rest of the boys?” she changed the subject.
I nodded, deciding to go with the subject change, “Yeah, we are,” I had already told her the answer to that around a few days ago, but I decided to let her mistake slip.
“Why do we like to kiss?” Jo asked, “It’s just the stupid connection of our lips… why does everyone always make such a big deal about it. People touch each other all the time, why is it the lips that always matter?”
“It’s mankind, what can you explain here?” I mumbled, “It just proves that there’s nothing wrong with kissing. It’s just a touch.”
Jo didn’t say anything. She just decided to step over to me. I was surprised by her bold actions to go ahead and be the first. I guess she isn’t the traditional girl who waits for the guy.
Our lips connected for but a few seconds, but we didn’t even touch each other. Once again, the only things connected were our lips. Touching was a sin, which meant we were in love. We just liked the way our lips connected, nothing more than that.
