"Niall, what is going on?" Jo frantically asked.
How could I tell her? I've tried so hard to keep my secrets out of her personal life, so she wouldn't have more issues, but here I am calling her for help. All my efforts have gone to waste.
I fell silent, unsure of how to deal with the situation. I really did need help because I was too scared to die. Greg was right, but I didn't have any way to fight back. I wasn't ready to die yet, I needed Jo to drive me to the hospital and then I'd get the pills removed from me before any of the side effects come into play. I'm already starting to feel drowsy from the sleeping pills.
"Niall?" Jo repeated my name.
I had to speak before she gets even more worried. I just didn't know how to tell her the truth. She doesn't know anything and I never wanted anything. Should I have called someone else? No, I can only trust Jo with something like this.
"Can you just come here quickly?" I asked.
"Just tell me what is going on or I won't come over. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now because I don't want to go back on what I said earlier."
It was worth a shot, even if I knew it wouldn't work. My decision was made and I was going to have to tell Jo the truth. After months of hiding my true identity from her, I'd have to give it up due to my lack of courage.
"I overdosed."
Silence filled the other end for what seemed like minutes. I didn't know what to do, so I just awaited Jo's reply. Anxiety filled my body as I began to imagine how she'd react to news like this. What if she is scared of me now? What if she's mad at me for never telling her the truth? Worst of all... What my attempts at death give her the idea that she should try it again, too?
Sleep became my new dream. I became increasingly tired as the pills kicked in. Right now, my thoughts started to slip away and I just wanted to sleep for a long time. I tried to push those thoughts away, but the wouldn't cease.
"I'll be over as fast as I can," Jo said and then hung up. Her voice was surprisingly calm. She didn't ask any questions or cry or yell at me. I assume that she thought it would ease my anxiety, but instead it caused me to become more nervous. Why did she act like that? Why can't she just say what she's really thinking?
I laid down on my bed and rested my horrid tension. I just wanted to sleep away everything inside of me. My thoughts created the paradise that would form due to increased sleep; I wanted to go there forever. Stress would finally disappear and I could be truly happy instead of this liar I have become.
A knot formed in my chest and I tossed and turned trying to untie it. I hated that obnoxious feeling that formed in my stomach because of all the guilt I felt. The feeling of uneasiness started to cease once I thought about sleep. If I just close my eyes I can rest and disappear for a little. I'll wake up later and face Jo, but for now I'll sleep.
