“Just so you know, I’m not trying to seek attention. I probably shouldn’t have said anything at all. I try so hard to hold in everything, but my head is all messed up from drinking, so I’m just not thinking correctly,” Jo told me.
“You know, it’s okay to have the attention on you once in a while, you need it especially now. You’ve hidden yourself far too long,” I quietly said, making my voice lower so I wouldn’t scare her.
“Okay,” she quietly began, “Well, I haven’t been in the best shape over the last few days. It’s almost like I’m grieving over the loss of Asher, or maybe it’s like I’m going through the breakup process, I don’t really know. I just know that I’m not taking it too well. It’s just so hard for me! No one will understand my feelings for Asher, that’s for sure. I don’t care if no one understands me. I just know that my love for Asher is definite. I can’t just forget him after all we’ve been through. He means so much to me… he’s the only guy I’ve ever fallen in love with.”
My eyes widened at her last statement, “You’ve only fallen in love with one guy? Have you even had a crush on any other guys?”
Jo shook her head, “No, I haven’t even had a crush on anyone but Asher. My life before Asher was just my acting career. My parents forced me into acting at a young age. I was in commercials and a couple different kid TV shows. Acting is just the only thing I’ve ever really known well. School wasn’t important, so I only know basics. My parents didn’t think school mattered, so I was just taught the basics. My every day had been something involving acting. Acting was my everything. Then, I met Asher Lee. The moment I saw him, I felt butterflies in my stomach. He was just… intriguing. There was something about him that just connected him to love in my brain. Our eyes connected and I felt sparks. Asher came over to me and we began talking. We became friends, but our friendship didn’t last long. It was quickly turned into an intimate relationship. We started dating and everyone loved us as a couple. Asher didn’t have any big public relationships before me. He slept with and dated a couple girls secretly, but that’s it. Meanwhile, I had no relationships or anything. We were both popular without any disadvantages. We were the absolute perfect couple. Even my parents loved Asher. Everything was perfect and I was determined for it to stay perfect.”
Jo fell silent, not talking about her earlier relationship anymore. I realized that she wanted me to speak now, “What happened when Asher was taken to jail?” I wasn’t even sure how to respond to her earlier life, so I decided to just let her continue with the first story.
“Well, I was lost, so lost,” she quietly replied. I imagined Jo coming back to the demolished house. I remembered how awful the interior or the home was. Asher must have torn up the house when she got angry, or maybe it was always like that. Maybe Asher was always mad and violent.
I imagined Jo staring at the wreckage. She’d have memories, or maybe nightmares, flash through her head. I wonder if she was scared. Maybe she leaned against something for support, because her mind was just too powerful. She would be reminded of every single event that happened in the small house. It scared Jo.
“Asher was my acting. Asher was what my life revolved around, no, he still is. Every day he corrupts my mind. My mind is just acting and Asher and it can’t be changed. When I lost Asher… I-I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I know he abused me, I know you think it’s wrong, but I won’t. I love him enough to allow everything he does to be overlooked. He has a reason for everything. I-I can’t live without him! I don’t know what to do with my life anymore! M-My life is falling apart and I-I don’t know what to do anymore!”
Jo collapsed on the floor and started sobbing again. I started to panic. I wasn’t sure what to do. When I was in love with Jo, I would’ve known the right words to say, to make her feel better. I would hope those words would also win her over. But now… I want to help her as a friend and I don’t know what to say to make her feel better.
“Jo…?” I quietly asked. She didn’t acknowledge her name. I brought my hands to her sides, slowly pulling her up, so she was sitting again. Jo’s teary eyes met mine. I looked into her gorgeous hazel green eyes. I forgot how beautiful they are. I forgot how beautiful she was.
Thought of Emily slipped into my mind and my gaze immediately broke from Jo’s. I can’t look at her, it’s too dangerous. I wasn’t really helping Jo at all, but I couldn’t lose Emily all at the same time.
I heard Jo sniffle, causing me to look up again. She wiped her eyes, trying to wipe off the makeup that had dripped down from her eyes. A black shadow lay under her eyes, due to the makeup. Jo looked up at me, “Thank you, Niall,” her weak voice whispered.
The pain in her voice affected me. I just could imagine how messed up her mind was. She doesn’t know what to do anymore. She doesn’t know where to go. She had to let me help her, because she has no one else anymore. She may have millions of fans, but she’s incredibly lonely and broken.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had my arms wrapped around Jo, pulling her into a hug. I felt Jo’s small arms wrap around me. I wanted her to feel safe for once. I wanted her to be happy again… was she even happy before? Maybe Asher just made her think she was happy. Obviously that must be the case. She must’ve been so confused when she realized that she was depressed.
Jo pulled away, and the tears came on again. Jo looked into my eyes, letting the tears freely run down her cheeks. Suddenly, her body started shaking. Her palms pressed against the floor tiles, giving her something to support her trembling body. She began to breathe unevenly. Her bottom lip began quivering, as her body let out choked sobs. I didn’t know what was going on, but it was scaring me.
“I-I can’t do this anymore, Niall!” she finally cried out. Her arms wrapped around her body, like she was trying to hold everything in, “I-I just want it to go away! I-I try so hard every day, b-but in the end I just break again! I-I don’t know what the purpose to life is anymore! I-I want to kill myself, Niall!”
My eyes widened at her words. No, no this. Memories of the day we met flooded my mind.
I put one foot onto the notch in the gate, and then put the other up. Just climb to the top and fall into the water.
Right as I was about to do that, I heard sniffling, the sound of sobbing. I turned and a couple yards away, I saw a girl.
She looked to be around sixteen or seventeen, really young. Her medium-length, dark blonde, curly hair was blowing in the wind. Her face looked flawless and had a lot of makeup on. Her lips were bright red, but mascara and eyeliner was running down her cheeks. She was crying.
What was weird was she was wearing a long glimmering evening dress. She looked like she was coming out of some fancy evening part. Who is she?
Suddenly, I saw her climb up to the top of the gate, her heels trying to fit into the notch. That’s when I realized what the perfect girl was doing. She was trying to kill herself.
My eyes widened, and all I could think of was her. She was going to kill herself! This flawless girl doesn’t deserve to die! She doesn’t deserve to cry! No one deserves this!
I ran over to her and quickly pulled her off of the ledge, before she could jump. We both tumbled to the ground, and she looked extremely shocked. I pulled myself up to my feet, and she stared at me.
She had beautiful hazel eyes that were glistening with tears. But, they looked so empty. She had been through so much, but it made her even more beautiful. She’s a warrior, I know it.
“I-I’m-” I began, but then, my legs started to get weak. The scenery began to spin, and I couldn’t hold on anymore. I drank too much and was getting sick. Black spots filled my vision, and I fell unconscious.
I remembered how I felt when I saw her on that bridge. I remember thinking how in love I was with her. The image of Jo jumping off a bridge to her death scared me. She doesn’t deserve this, she never has.
“J-Jo, I can’t see you on that bridge again,” I whispered. Jo’s eyes widened and she stared at me, remembering when she first met. She sighed and shook her head, “Niall, I-I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”
“Well, I’m not letting you go on with that plan,” I told her.
“Why does it matter to you?” she snapped, trying to get her way. She doesn’t even know? How doesn’t she know anything? We were at least friends! That had to mean something!
“Jo, I care about you!” I exclaimed. Jo immediately looked up at me again, “What do you mean?”
“We’re friends!” I exclaimed, “I want to know you’re safe, even if you don’t give a shit about me! You meant so much to me, and it hurt to know that you just threw it away because of him! You need to know that you’re stronger than that! It will take time, but you’ll eventually move past Asher. He will just become a distant nightmare on your track of life. You don’t realize how much you have until it’s gone.”
There was a pause. Jo stared at the ground, her finger tracing the concrete between the tiles. She finally looked up, her bottom lip between her teeth. She let go, “I-I’m so scared, Niall… I don’t know who I am anymore… It scares me so much… and I don’t know who to go to for help.”
“Me,” I simply answered, “Sometimes it’s best to forget about petty grudges like this and just move on. You need someone to speak to, and I’m ready to listen any time.”
“Thank you… it means a lot to me,” she quietly said. She didn’t seem to convincing, but it’s all I was going to get from her, and I was willing to take it. I wrapped my arms around Jo one last time, as a friendly gesture. I pulled myself up to my feet, “Okay, let’s go back to the living room, okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to wash out my mouth,” she headed to the sink, gargling and spitting out water. We both headed back into the living room, where Emily was sitting, flipping through channels on the TV.
The TV was quickly shut off when we walked in, “Hey Niall,” Emily cheerfully greeted, clearly paying no attention to Jo. I shouldn’t even try to get Emily and Jo to be friends. That would be impossible.
“What do you want to do?” I asked them. Jo remained silent, but Emily spoke up, “I’m tired, Niall. Can we just go to sleep?” she whined. Emily really is in one of those moods, plus she’s jealous. That really isn’t a good combination.
“Fine, let’s go to sleep. I’ll figure out where everyone is going to stay,” I answered. Emily shook her head, “No, I have it all planned out. I wanna sleep with you, Niall. Jo can stay in the guest bed.”
“Emily-” I began, but Jo interrupted, “okay, that works.”
“So, I don’t have much clothes, but you can look in what I have and pick out what you want,” I suggested. I’m sure that Jo wearing my clothes really isn’t going to go well for Emily.
“You know, I think Jo can wear what she has on now,” Emily snapped at me. I sighed, “Emily, she has alcohol on her dress,” I muttered. Emily shrugged, “So, it’s dry now?”
“Just come on you two.”
Emily huffed, but followed close behind me, while Jo stayed a few feet back. I think Jo knows that she shouldn’t mess with Emily. I don’t even think Jo cares to try, either.
We all headed to my bedroom and Emily ran over to my dresser. She pulled out a few items of clothes, tossing some to Jo. Jo stumbed back as she caught them. Emily ran into my bathroom. Jo looked at me suspiciously. I shrugged, “She’s a jealous girl.”
Jo laughed, “Well, I’m just going to go to sleep in the guest room. Thanks for all your help, Niall,” Jo wrapped her arms around me, and I returned the gesture. We pulled away and Jo gave me a small wave in reply before heading to her room. I headed into my closet, pulling out something else to change into.
I heard the door open and Emily walked out. She was wearing a pair of my boxers and one of my T-shirts. The waistband of the boxers were rolled up, so they were like booty shorts. Her long hair was now in wavy locks, an orange wave cascading from her scalp.
“Wow… you look hot,” I said. Emily blushed, “You think so?” she asked. I quickly nodded and opened my arms up, motioning for her to walk into my arms.
She entered my arms and I wrapped my arms around her. Emily enclosed the space between us, as I held her in my arms. I kissed the top of her head and we finally pulled away, “I’m going to change, I’ll be out in a second, okay?”
Emily nodded, allowing me to go into the bathroom. I walked in and washed up. I changed into boxers and a T-shirt. I almost laughed at the fact that Emily and I would be wearing similar clothing.
I walked out and Emily was already under the covers, her back facing me. She turned around when she heard the doorknob turn. A smile crossed her features, “Niall, come to bed with me, it’s all cold!” she whined. I laughed and joined her in bed.
I wrapped my arms around my girlfriend’s body. I knew we were probably moving too fast, but I didn’t care. I wanted to hold Emily, proving my feelings for her.
Emily nestled her head into my chest, and she fell asleep in my arms. I looked down at her peaceful sleeping figure. She looked so perfect. I couldn’t get over her beauty. She was so beautiful in her sleep. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek. Her body fell limp, proving she was asleep. Soon, I fell asleep with my perfect girlfriend in my arms.
Okay, comment, follow, FB like, tweet, share, and fave! Bye lovelies!
~Lydia ♥
