I wasn’t surprised when I felt Jo’s lips moving with mine. I should be more shocked; I had been waiting for this moment for so long, but now it seemed so easy. Why hadn’t I tried this before?
It felt absolutely amazing. I felt like I wasn’t surrounded by nightmares in the room. I was with Jo. This was the first time that I actually knew Jo. I finally knew who she really was.
My hands were pressed against the wall. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to touch her, something in my head was telling me that I wasn’t allowed to touch her anymore. The souls were whispering to me and I was letting them in.
It’s like I couldn’t pull away. I didn’t want to. It was too amazing of a feeling. It’s something I feel like I’ve been anticipating for so long. I didn’t know it, but this was something I should’ve felt a long time ago.
Jo wasn’t touching me either. The only thing connected was our lips. I couldn’t just let go. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m not letting go first. But, at the same time, I don’t want her to let go first, either.
I was shocked when I pulled away first. No, I did not pull away. Someone else in the room did. It was the two forces that live in here. Their spirits cannot leave. And, I think I know which one of them pulled me away.
I reopened my eyes and I could see Jo’s face inches away from mine. Her eyes were a deep, green ocean. I looked a bit lower than her eyes. I didn’t want to drown.
“Niall…” Jo breathed out my name.
It was beautiful; a melody that escape from her lips. I wanted to hear it every second. My name would escape her lips and fill the multiple holes in my heart.
I didn’t want to speak. I wanted to let the previous actions set in the thick air. I can’t let them fade away. My clumsy Irish accent would ruin the mood. It felt beautiful in here. I don’t want to lose this amazing feeling so soon.
She didn’t touch me. Neither of us could touch anymore. What we already did was illegal enough.
“What now?” she whispered.
I didn’t want to say anything. For once, I felt at peace. My mind was hazy, and I liked it that way. I wanted my brain to turn into mush and be absorbed by the stained walls. This room held so much already, why not take in some more?
“Let’s never leave,” I whispered, trying to sound romantic. The disguise of my accent wasn’t very strong.
“We’ll have to eventually, Niall,” she mumbled. She wouldn’t give up on trying to make eye contact, “I don’t know what will happen now… What are we going to do when we have to leave?”
“I don’t know…” I really didn’t think before I acted. But, something deep inside of me is saying that this kiss was a good idea. No, all of me is saying that the kiss was a good idea. I can still feel her on my lips.
“Niall, what do you feel now?”
A simple question, but it so deeply pondered me. I couldn’t find the answer now. My mind was liquefying. I could only feel Jo; she was a being inside of me. Does she feel the same? But… what exactly is this feeling?
“I don’t know…” I repeated.
“Is it love?”
I instantly stopped breathing. I couldn’t feel Jo anymore. My heart plummeted to my stomach and I could almost hear the small ‘thud’ once my heart hit the bottom of my stomach.
I knew what I felt was different, but love? It can’t be love. We just… needed to kiss. No, that doesn’t make sense. It’s got to fit some word. It’s not love, right?
“We’re in love with other people,” Jo’s voice came in one ear and tried to slip into my brain. I just couldn’t grasp in right. Then, a certain girl’s image popped into my head.
Emily.
Her name echoed through my head. I could hear her high voice as she spoke. I could feel her giggles vibrating against my chest as I held her close. But, I couldn’t feel her lips anymore.
“This isn’t love,” I bluntly announced.
I couldn’t tell what Jo was thinking. She loves Asher, right? And I love Emily, so this idea of us getting together would never work. We have two separate relationships that neither of us wants to end.
“Jo, I need you be honest with me… how did the kiss feel to you?” I asked. I was close to putting my hands on her shoulder so I would finally look her in the eyes, but I didn’t have the nerve to touch her again.
Jo looked directly into my eyes, “It was breathtaking,” And I could tell that she was being truthful.
“It felt like the best feeling in the world…” I mumbled. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was true.
So, both of us are feeling the same about it? I would’ve never thought that Jo would think the same, too. Why does she love the kiss, too? Doesn’t she like Asher’s lips more than mine?
Wait, why do I like this kiss more than Emily’s? Maybe it’s because Jo is more experienced or something. I was transported to another place; does a kiss have such a power to that, though?
“It doesn’t mean anything, Jo,” my voice was stern, but I didn’t care. She needs to know that we can’t date. I think Jo already knows that, but I’m not sure. All I know is that I can’t break up with Emily. I love her, not Jo. Jo is just a friend, but why does that kiss still linger on my lips?
“But, you can feel the kiss, too, right?”
Can she read my thoughts? I’m beginning to wonder. This means she feels the same way. So, we both got intense feelings from the one kiss? How? We didn’t even touch each other! Only our lips connected.
“Yeah, I do,” I quietly answered, “But, we it doesn’t mean anything. We can’t be in love. We weren’t meant to fall in love, Jo. Maybe that kiss was amazing, but we can’t let something like that make us believe that we are in love with each other.”
“I don’t want to let that feeling fade,” Jo whispered.
I knew she was right. Both of us wanted to experience it again and again. This isn’t something you can just let fly over your head with nothing more. This feeling was meant to be kept with you, deep inside your body as a secret. Because, some things were meant to be left hidden.
“This isn’t wrong,” I told Jo. I took a step back, so we weren’t but inches apart, “What’s wrong with kissing each other if we aren’t in love? If it doesn’t mean we want to date, then why should we worry about it?”
“Isn’t it cheating?” Jo asked.
I bit my lip. I was really hoping she wouldn’t use that word. It’s so negative. The walls screamed at me to kiss her again, but Emily told me that it was a bad idea. I was being torn in half.
“We aren’t in love, Jo. It just means that we want to connect our lips, nothing more. We need each other… you know that,” I took a step closer.
Who was controlling me now? Was I Niall anymore? I couldn’t figure out who I was, but I liked his bold personality. He needs to take control of me more often.
“Niall, that’s dumb,” she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Do you love me,” the words tumbled off my tongue, but I wouldn’t stop them. I knew the answer for Jo and I was willing to say it to her face. We both knew our true feelings, and it wasn’t love for each other.
“No.”
“So, why should we be worried?” I asked. Jo stared at the ground, “It just feels wrong, Niall.”
“No, it feels right. Something that powerful was meant to happen again. Do you want to let it pass by?” I asked. Jo paused, but shook her head, “N-No, I don’t,” she whispered.
“Then, let’s let this continue. It will be our little secret. This house is our secret that we put a spell on. No one else will come here, but us now. We need each other, Jo. Can’t you feel it? Don’t you hear all the walls whispering? Can’t you feel the air get warmer around us?”
Jo squeezed her eyes shut, but nodded, “Y-Yeah, I do.”
“It’s our secret, Jo, right?” I asked. Jo looked up at me and nodded, “Yes, it’s our secret.”
I leaned against the wall behind me, so I was side by side with Jo. We didn’t look at each other that was too risky. The best thing to do was just stay with each other until we had to leave.
Until we had to leave.
Wait, I had to leave. I had to leave a long time ago, didn’t I? Oh shit! I was supposed to go visit Emily because I was sick! What kind of boyfriend am I to forget about my own girlfriend when she’s sick? I feel so awful! I need to go see her now!
“Jo, I forgot that I had to go visit Emily, I’ll have to go,” I frantically told her, already heading towards the door.
She nodded, “Okay, promise me you’ll talk to me again? I don’t want to go through that period when we would avoid each other, we just can’t.”
I nodded, “Yeah, let’s stop avoiding each other, that’s impossible.”
“Are we allowed to kiss, Niall?” her voice was soft. I liked the way she looked at me with her innocent hazel eyes. She looked like she was in so much pain. Emily wouldn’t understand our pain, that’s why I wouldn’t be able to get that feeling from her. Pain fuels the kiss.
“Yes, we need to kiss,” I breathed out.
I connected my lips with hers for but a few seconds. We didn’t touch, that would mean that we would have more of a connection. We didn’t have more of a connection than that. We just touched our lips and that was enough. The feeling of warmth spread through me, making me feel amazing. I could go on with the rest of the day now.
“This is our room now,” Jo whispered, once we pulled away, “This is our secret, it won’t hurt anyone if we keep it our secret.”
I nodded and then mumbled a goodbye. Jo didn’t say anything, she just watched me walk out of the room.
*
My hand covered the doorknob. I couldn’t remember what noise the door made when I opened it. I’m hoping it is silent, but that’s highly unlikely. No one seems to have a silent door anymore.
I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. The ‘click’ noise proved my doubts. My facial features tensed as soon as noise was made. I squeezed my eyes shut and silent pushed open the door. Of course the door creaked.
I tiptoed into Emily’s dorm.
I was really lucky. Emily was buried under the covers, pulled up to her neck. Multiple tissues were scattered around the bed. Her slippers were set at the end of her bed and her hair was thrown up into a messy bun with a couple red curls hanging out.
I tiptoed farther into the room, towards Emily’s bed. I was already planning my excuse. Maybe she’s been asleep the whole time. I could quietly wake her up and tell her that I’ve been waiting here for a long time.
“Niall, I know you’re late,” I heard her voice mumble into her pillow.
Shit, I’ve been caught. I was hoping that she wouldn’t realize I was late. It would be a lot easier that way.
“Sorry, the meeting ran overtime,” I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair, “I know I should’ve called you or texted you, but I rushed over here right after so I didn’t really have time… I’m sorry.”
Emily turned around and sat up so she could see me, “It’s fine, but next time don’t be two hours late, please,” she joked. I chuckled, “I’ll try.”
“Come sit with me,” she whined, holding her arms out, so I would be able to hold onto her. I smiled and then kicked my shoes off. I wrapped my arms around Emily’s body and then pushed her onto the bed. My lips hovered over hers.
Emily pressed her index finger against my closed lips, “No, No, Mr. Horan, don’t forget that I’m sick!”
“I can risk some sickness,” I joked before pressing my lips against hers. Emily didn’t try to resist. Our lips moved in sync, much longer than me and Jo’s kisses. We pressed our bodies up against each other, touch fired up our passionate souls.
It wasn’t the same. We weren’t the same, but we loved each other. Our relationship was much better; we actually loved each other. I don’t care if she weren’t as good of kisser as Jo, that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to lose Emily, I love her.
We pulled away and I stared into her perfect eyes. I couldn’t pull my gaze away, “I love you,” I whispered, staring her in the eyes.
Emily smiled, “I love you, too.”
So, what do you think? I understand that this book isn’t very drama filled; I’m working on it. This book is more philosophical rather than dramatic. I’ll have to work on making it more interesting ;) comment, follow, tweet, FB like, share, and vote (Every chapter please)! Bye lovelies!
~Lydia♥
(sorry i didn't update last night this is the update from last night it's just that wattpad wasn't working :/)
