"Fine," I muttered, expecting that Jo wouldn't hear it, but she walked in. I glanced up and saw her small figure standing in the doorway, leaning against the side. I hated the way that I could never tell what she was thinking.
I didn't bother to sit up. I decided to just wait until she sat beside me and I'd listen to her talk as I tried to block out the voices in my stupid head. They never shut up.
Jo sat beside me, like I expected her to. She didn't speak, though. She just looked at the wall blankly, not giving me an inspirational speech, like she usually did. Well, she usually tries, but we end up messing it up somehow and making it about depression.
I was sick of just getting lectured on everything by all my friends, and now even my girlfriend. I just wanted to disappear for a little and drown out everyone. My head was swarming as I began to imagine Emily in the other room. She's pissed at me and now knows about what happened. I'm sick of being here and I'm sick of getting yelled at.
"I'm going," I told Jo, as I started to get up. Jo frowned and stood up, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means what it sounds like," I answered, "I'm getting the hell out of here for a little. I'm feelings stressed and I just need to get some fresh air for a little and be by myself."
"Oh, so you're going to run away from your problems?" Jo backfired, now glaring at me, "I was thinking that you were actually going to try harder than that, because frankly it is stupid that you can't even talk to Emily about what happened. She had a part in your suicide, so she should know the details."
I headed to my closet and pulled out a jacket, throwing it over my shoulders, "You can tell her then, you seem to be pretty involved anyways."
I began to walk out of my room, but Jo soon tailed behind me, closely, "can you just man up and talk to Emily?"
"No, I want to be alone," I muttered and headed into the living room where Emily was. She stood up when she saw me walk in. She started to walk towards me, but I simply brushed past her, "Are you leaving...?" she asked, clearly confused.
"I need to get out," I muttered, now pulling on my shoes. Emily and Jo both walked over to me "Don't leave, Niall," Emily said, but it just sounded like a command to me.
"Well, I'm leaving," I said and then walked out the door, closing it in the two girls' faces.
The fresh air felt nice against my skin. I was nearly sweating inside from anxiety; I just wasn't ready to talk to Emily yet. I couldn't believe that I actually told Jo first.
I wanted to get a drink, so I'm just gonna drive down to an old bar and get a drink. I'll probably end up getting wasted, but I'll just get a damn cab to take me home. I don't want to come home and have either Jo, Emily, or both yell at me. If I get drunk, then it won't affect me.
I drove around town before settling on some old bar. I didn't bother to put on a disguise. Let some idiot paparazzi take pictures of me getting drunk. The fans will eat it up, anyways.
I parked in front of the bar and got out, heading in with my head down. I walked in and got a seat at the counter. I started off with a beer, and this time the bartender decided to stay quiet.
I silently drank the beer and waited for the alcohol to kick in. I'd need a couple more beers for its affect to work at its fullest. I want to get drunk and forget everything. I know it will probably backfire, but I usually am able to make out with Jo when I get drunk, even if she's a little pissed.
