Jo’s words repeated in my mind: N-Niall… c-can I stay with you tonight…? Wait, what does she mean? She’s in my house; I don’t think she assumed she isn’t allowed to stay here the whole night. She came into my room to ask me… oh. She means to sleep with me in the same bed.
My insides were on fire. We weren’t even dating and she wants to sleep in the same bed as me. My head was pounding with the thoughts of her being so close to me. We’ve hugged once, and now she’s standing in my room at night, asking me to sleep in the same bed with me, as she’s wearing my clothes.
I quickly nodded, “Sure,” I answered, making sure I didn’t sound too excited. I didn’t want her to know my true feelings. I scooted to the other side, giving her half the bed to sleep on. For me, the whole situation seemed awkwardly, but I desperately wanted it to continue on.
“I can’t be stuck in my own nightmare alone,” Jo whispered. Her eyes were facing the floor. Her messy hair covered the halves of her face. She looked like she had been beaten down by the world, if only I knew what had happened to her.
Jo’s eyes met mine for a second, before snapping over to the duvet. She pulled the covers back a bit more, so she could crawl under them. She threw the covers over her body. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was so close to me that I was worried she could hear my thoughts.
My eyes wouldn’t pry away from her angelic face. I watched as he lips parted, forming words, “I just… I just don’t know what my life has become. I love and hate my life. It makes no sense to anyone but me,” Then, her head turned and her beautiful hazel eyes met mine, “You know that feeling of emptiness?” she asked me. It was a rhetorical question, but I nodded anyways. Jo continued, “Well, I feel it all the time.”
I so desperately wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her that I feel that emptiness, too. I want to tell her about Greg’s death, and how it really affected me. I want to tell her how I couldn’t cry. But, most of all, I wanted to tell her why I was at the bridge that one night.
The room filled with silence. I finally snapped my gaze away from Jo and stared at the ceiling. I would’ve thought it would be one of those awkward silences, but it wasn’t. It felt perfect.
I felt like I was inching close towards Jo’s inner thoughts. I wanted to know what made her sad, and I know it’s something serious. She wouldn’t come to my flat and into my bedroom to sleep with me for the night if it wasn’t serious.
I glanced over at Jo to see her perfect figure. Her lips were pressed together in a line. I could hear her sniffle, trying to keep in tears. Her eyelashes brushed against her cheeks and she tried to blink away the tears trying to fall. Her hands relaxed, letting to of the duvet she was gripping. Her eyes finally closed and her steady breathing filled the room.
I had to remind myself so many times that we were just friends. I so badly wanted to touch her, enjoy her embrace. I wanted to wrap my arms around her body, holding her close. I would whisper comforting words into her ear, and I would be able to make her smile. I wish my lips were pressed against hers. God, I want her so badly to be mine.
I squeezed my eyes shut; hoping sleep would come to me. Maybe I can dream about Jo tonight. Now, if only I could find a way to reach sleep. It’s really distracting to sleep when you have the girl you have been in love with for so long sleeping right beside you.
I want to feel her lips against mine. I want that enticing feeling to take control of my every feature, making me fall deeper in love with her. I want her to wrap her arms around my body, bringing us closer to each other. God, I want her so badly.
I squeezed my eyes shut again. Just go to sleep, Niall. You have to stop thinking about her that way. You’re just friends with Jo, nothing more. She has a boyfriend who she loves, not you.
That little speech I had in my mind made me calm down a bit, so I finally fell asleep beside Jo.
