Fall in Love or Fall Apart

Chapter 27

Carl led me away from the others to a quiet corner. He was breathing heavily and kept starting sentences but not finishing them. He paced back and forth and back and forth. Till I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Just spit it out Carl!" I was so annoyed with him that I didn't care that I sounded like the biggest bitch ever.

"You were right!" Carl stammered. "Everything you said back there about my judgment and my brain being clouded was right. How life is unfair and that we're just teens. I just feel that I have to do something. That maybe if I had been stronger. So many people would still be alive. Sophia. Dale. My mom... But now I keep doing everything the wrong way. I just don't know what to do. Then I didn't do enough. Now I do too much. I just want to help. So I can feel as if I helped. To stop this guilt building up inside me. And then it bursts out at the people I love. I'm so so sorry for what I did and said. Everything. Not just then. Every time that I've ever been even the slightest off. I'm sorry a million times. I'm trying. But everything I do is wrong. I try to be nice and flirt with you. But then I ruin our relationship every time I open my damn mouth. I can't take it anymore. I'm trying. But I need your help Enid. Please." Carl sat down putting his head in between his knees.

I stride over and squat in front of him. My fingers lift his chin and my eyes stare into his eyes.

"Carl. Promise me. Promise that you're telling the truth. And you're trying." I plead him. He just stares straight into my eyes and nods.

"I promise."

"Okay. I'll help you." I hug him and he hugs back. "What was that about you trying to flirt with me?" I tease.

Carl blushes and stands up.

"Um. We better get back now. They're probably waiting for us." Carl stumbles over his words.

"Mhmm. Yep. But Carl. Thanks." I miss his cheek and continue walking. Soon Carl falls in step with me.

As we near the doors I hesitate a bit.

"What?" Carl asks.

"It's just. What if they turn on us?" Worry in my face barley showed, but my voice gave it away.

"Then we'll take them on. No one can beat you anyways." Carl laughs and I nervously laugh with him.

"That's what I'm afraid of..." I whisper to myself as we walk in.

---

Carl and I mostly avoided the new comers last night. We had talked for a bit in my cell as we unpacked everything. But Rick came back and told us we had to go to bed since we were annoying everyone. I had laughed at this and told Carl goodnight.

Now, though, at 6:00am I'm lonely and wide awake. I decided to get up and go outside. I stood up stretching my arms up over my head. I threw on random clothes and grabbed my weapons. It was a pair of dark skinny jeans, with a maroon crop top layered with a leather jacket, and combat boots. I stuffed my knife in my boot and a gun in a holster on my hip with my crossbow slung across my back. I usually didn't carry a gun around the prison, but these new people made me nervous. I brushed through my hair and put it in a braid. However, I felt girly today so I took the dark purple lipstick and put it on my lips.

I walked out of my cell at 6:10 and the prison was silent. I walked downstairs to see Rick struggling to get up.

"Morning Rick." I laughed at his tiredness.

"Morning." Rick mumbled rubbing his face.

"Why don't you rest a bit longer. I'll get Maggie and Glenn and we can go check up on everything." I offered as Rick was trying to open his eyes.