Øn yøur mind // Tyler Joseph

Sympathy

     After Dave impolitely kicked out Kelsey, and us arguing, I pulled out my homework and got to work.

Tears filled my pages, I'd gone through more tissues than ever tonight. My cheek still stinging from his hand colliding with it.

Dave came in and I shook my head at him, waiting for him to get mad at me for no reason, and to torture me. "Hey... " he walked in and I shivered, me not liking the last time he was in here. I glanced about for my escape, he was sober this time, I couldn't outrun or fight him.

"Rowan... " he sighed as I nervously glanced about the room, I had a lamp on my bedside table, I could defend myself with that? I almost laughed at the idea.

"Rowan LISTEN TO ME!" He smacked his hand on my book and I jumped, scared of him.

I gazed up and saw him clenching his fingers and releasing. "Look, I'm trying not to get angry at you, but you make it very easy sometimes." He sighed and rubbed his temple. What was he getting at?

"Happy birthday." He looked at the bag in my room that Kelsey left.

"Why would you beat me then if you wished me a happy birthday?" I asked as I whimpered.

"Rowan... my Rowan." He looked sad for a moment, studying my features.

"And where's my mom? She hasn't even said... " I shook my head. Even Dave said happy birthday to me. My own mother, hasn't acknowledged me. Maybe she did forget. Am I really that useless? Forgotten?

"She's working an early and a night shift. She wanted to afford a vacation this year for your graduation. Don't tell her I told you though." He smiled sadly and inched closer to me.

I felt uncomfortable as Dave wrapped his arms around me lightly. But he didn't do it in a scary way. Well, it was like one of the first nights when we bonded. Him calling me his daughter.

"Rowan?" He asked as I stared blankly ahead, him sad at my lack of emotions. I didn't trust him at all. How could he expect me to hug him back when I've never been shown love? Being beaten and hurt, I didn't know love, and I felt scared when he hugged me, unsure if he meant it.

"Rowan please. My god." He whispered and I ever so softly, almost cringing, hugged him back, just to avoid him throwing a tantrum and hitting me again. I heard a sniff behind me as I realized he was crying. Was Dave okay?

Well obviously he wasn't, hitting eighteen year old girls for fun and destroying families and emotions. But why the sudden change of emotion? Why was he even trying to be nice, my mom wasn't here?

"I'm so sorry, you have to go through this on your birthday." He muttered.

He was sorry? Then why'd he hit me? Psycho.

"Well I'm sorry, but my father committing suicide has you beat." I laughed dryly and he examined my sourness.

"He killed himself, on your birthday?" Dave gasped and pulled me into his chest. Again, I felt nothing. Was he expecting me to love him and treat him as part of my family?

"Yeah, I'm sorry you can't experience losing someone." I pushed myself out of his arms and turned away. He was trying to get me to show emotions. I couldn't.

"Oh. That's what you think of me... " he frowned as I expected him to hit me, he looked hurt himself. Well Dave can be hurt, he'd never know the true pain he'd caused.

"Goodnight Rowan." He sighed and I nodded. What was with his bipolar moods?

He turned and left my room, tears in his eyes. Dave didn't deserve to cry. Only me.