Øn yøur mind // Tyler Joseph

Date

I sulked the halls of the big building. Pictures of flowers and city skylights to make the place less dull than it already was.

Bright beige walls, so dull that this place was actually making me go even more insane. I tugged at the edges of my sleeves, avoiding the family-friendly magazines with perfectly photoshopped people, actors. Not real families, fake smiles, fake everything.

I related.

None of it was real. This was all an act, an act my mom was paying for, just to say she helped. Wouldn't want the neighbors to know your daughter was crazy or anything.

"Rowan Jenkins?" A lady with an extra wide smile called out, a boy with a hood over his head ran out hurriedly, almost ashamed to be here. Me too kid, me too.

"Hello, follow me back here." She smiled and motioned for me to, I sauntered over with a sad expression. It was also an act.

"So... how are you doing? My name's Dr. Boyce, but please, call me Helen." She smiled with her stupid motherly smile and tight turtle neck. Perfectly manicured nails, and posture that seemed would hurt her back sitting up so straight.

"I'm fine." I replied honestly. They wouldn't crack me.

"Well everyone says that sweetie. So let's get to know you. Don't worry, a lot of people are shy at first, but by the end of our sessions, they're a whole new person." Her tight smile with her pink gums showing through.

"Kay." I stuffed my hands into my sweater and she forced her smile into a cringe.

"So, any brothers or sisters? Pets? Hobbies, anything you want to talk about before we really get digging?"

She said digging, instead of breaking the emotional barriers I'd put up between myself and everyone. Helen made everything seem optimistic. I could be, I used to be like Helen, always looking at the bright side. But Helen was stupid, because she's never seen the things I've seen.

Everything was so easy back then. Now I was realistic, that's the only difference.

"No, no siblings, pets, family. My personality is as dead as my father." I looked at the painting behind her in boredom and my chipped nails.

Hearing her gasp made me look up slowly from my business at picking my nails. "Well... I see. Your mother Ava told me. But I don't believe for one bit that you don't have a personality." She changed the subject with a compliment. Not falling for it.

"Hmm, you don't know anything about me." I laughed sourly and stared at the ticking clock.

"I know that you're a very talented girl, well—from what your mom tells me."

That only got my attention slightly. "Nope. Not an ounce of talent. She's thinking of my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend huh? Makes sense, you being a nice, young lady. What's he like? How long have you guys been together?" She complimented again.

She tried to get me to spill. I sighed and decided that arguing wouldn't make this go by any faster. Plus, I'd only embarrass myself even more at our next session, and our next. If I was to be a raging loser.

"He's great. Plays basketball and his team is going to state this weekend. I've known him my whole life but we just started dating three weeks ago."

Her expression changed to happy, she clapped her hands, a big diamond ring on her finger. Doesn't phase me, a mom with a happy healthy family probably.