Work Hard, Play Hard

Chapter 24

Maxi had been gone eight days now. that's half way, I kept telling myself. I last spoke to him four days ago and I was missing him so much. I've still been having broken sleeps but I just kept telling myself that maxi would be home soon. I'd got home from work and I was on twitter reading through my mentions some good some bad, then I saw one tweet that made me re-read it again and again it said 'I don't see what the big deal is with...' then an incoming call came in on Skype, I accepted it and wiped my eyes. it was maxi!

'Hello beautiful!" he said smiling through the camera

"Hey Maxi, how's it all going?" I asked

"It's super, there's been such heart warming stories that have brought me and Jesse to tears. anyway how's work? and you? how are you? are you taking care of yourself? you coping without me?" maxi asked sounding all serious until the last question which he said smugly

"Works good" (it was, i was telling the truth) "I'm fine" (a lie, I wasn't fine at all but he couldn't know that) "yes I'm looking after myself" (also a lie, I hadn't been eating)"and yes I'm coping without you" I joked. me and maxi sat on Skype for twenty minuets when i told him to get some rest as he kept yawning. I logged back on to twitter and carried on reading through my mentions that same tweet kept coming up 'I don't see what the big deal is with @LottieBonner, she's as untalented as fuck and let's not talk about her ugly fucked up face. fat bitch!' I was getting quite a few of these everyday and for every bad tweet there was fifteen good ones, but the words started to torment me and I began to worry about them, and if they were true or not. I started to believe i was fat so I began starving myself or whenever I was out with people I would eat and then go to the loo and make myself sick, I didn't deserve someone like maxi if I was fat. The reception with work had been good and that was the only good thing. I had been busy recording my first single, because the label wanted me to release something as soon as possible. But the only words that were going through my mind over and over again were 'fat bitch.'

** the next day **

I woke up to an empty bed...again. It was a beautiful morning, calm peaceful waves and the sun peeping out of the clouds above, I decided to clear my head of all the negative thoughts by going for a walk down at Bondi.

The beach was empty, it wasn't warm enough to sun bathe in bikinis yet so I sat with my hoddie on and on the back it read "lifeguard wag." I was in a world of my own gazing into the sea completely lost in my own thoughts when I heard the sound of a horn. I jumped out of my skin and turned round. it was whippet.

"Heya, whatcha doing down here all alone" whip said gesturing for me to take the spare seat next to him

"I'm just clearing my head" I replied

"Missing maxi are we?" Whip asked sympathetically

"Yeah, it's just I'm not in a good place and I feel like I need him more than ever but I can't an it's so frustrating"

"Do you need someone to listen in?" whip said

"No, your fine, its not something I'm not proud of or want to do. I'll jut keep plodding on and tell maxi when he gets home" I said forcing a smile

"Your looking pale, are you sure your okay?" whip asked sounding concerned

"I'm fine. been spending too long in the recoding studio, that's all" I said forcing a smile. I knew I didn't look good but I couldn't tell whip, not now anyway. whippets radio went off so he listened to it and said

"I have to go up north end, Lottie if you need me call me. maxi said he wants us boys to look after you." before driving off. I walked up to the tower to talk to the boys to distract myself from things.

"Hi Lottie, just the person. the night after maxi gets back we're gonna go for a drink with the lads , you'll come won't you?" bacon asked

"Sure i will" I said all of a sudden I felt really sick "actually boys i have to go, but I'll defo be there. sorry" I said running out.

I needed maxi home so I could talk to him about the abuse online and to confinde in. just to be given a hug is all it could take right now....