Work Hard, Play Hard

Chapter 25

It was the night of maxi and Jesse's welcome home party. I was already I just needed to put on my dress when maxi came from behind me and wrapped his arms round me.

"I don't think you realise just how much I missed you" he said kissing my shoulder

"I missed you more than anything" I said turning round and kissing him on the lips

"You promise you looked after yourself while I was away" maxi looked down at me, a look of concern spread across his face.

"Yes, of course. What makes you think I didn't?" I asked taking a step back

"Turn around, look in the mirror and tell me what you see"

"Honestly, an ugly fat girl, who doesn't deserve someone like you" I said wrapping my arms around myself to cover my body

"No. stop it right there. What's brought all of this on? You're the most beautiful girl I know, and you were never ashamed of what you looked like. You've lost so much weight, it looks like you haven't been eating, and I can see your ribs. Lottie? What's happened?"

"Nothing's happened" I said pulling on a baggy t-shirt and sitting on the bed with my knees pulled up close to my chin.

"Lottie, your worrying me now, I'm not stupid, I know something's happened while I've been away, you can tell me anything" maxi said sitting next to me and hugging me and just as he said that the door rang "I'll go, but I won't let this go." when maxi opened the door I put on my dress and smoothed over my make up and walked out to find Jess and Jesse.

"Hey" I said walking up to jess and giving her a hug then walking over to Jesse and doing the same

"Are we ready to go" Jesse said

"Sure" me, maxi and jess said in unison "let me just lock up" maxi said gesturing for everyone to go out "Lottie, are you're sure you'll be okay?" maxi asked

"Sure, c'mon lets go. I'll explain everything tomorrow I promise. Just forget about me and have a good time tonight" I said placing a kiss on his cheek.

When we arrived at the bar and maxi got the drinks in. I saw the barmaid give maxi the eye so I went and stood next to him with one hand placed round his waist and the other hand on top of his. I gave the barmaid a smug look before raising my eyebrows at her. Great I now have to worry about a barmaid getting with my boyfriend this whole night. Me and maxi walked back to the table and I turned round to face him and kissed him passionately making sure the barmaid was looking and then mouthed 'mine'. She gave me and unimpressed look as if to say 'I don't care if he's yours or not I'm still gonna flirt with him all night.'

The drinks started flowing and I began to feel a bit tipsy, so I began to drink water, because I was working tomorrow and didn't fancy a big hangover. I happened to look up from where I was sitting and realised Maxi wasn't sat next to me anymore. I looked over at Whippet and said

"Where's Maxi?"

"Getting in another round. Why?"

"Is he now?" I asked feeling deflated. I got up and I felt Jess grab my arm and said

"I'm coming, just incase." Just in case what i wanted to ask, but didnt just incase i didn't like what I might hear. We were walking round the bar looking for Maxi when Jess stuck her arm out and said

"Stop, and listen." I heard girly giggling and I turned the corner and I felt so many different emotions. Anger, dismay, depressed, fustrated, sick and I felt like curling up in a ball and crying, but i had to settle this.

"Wait here" I said to Jess "I will deal with this" I took a deep breath, straighted my dress and flicked back my hair and walked over the sound of my Louboutins clonking on the floor.

"Don't sufficate on each others tounges please" I said stood there with my arms folded fighting back the tears

"Lottie" Maxi said sounding startled

"What the fuck is going on" I said on the edge of tears

"Its not what it looks like, I promise!" Maxi said trying to defend himself

"Well it looked very much like you to were seeing how far your tounges could fit down each others throats!" I exclaimed "I fucking warned you, I made it quite clear that this was my boyfriend, slut" I said walking up to her, inches away from her face

"Well what you gonna do?" Came her cocky reply

"Well this just proves just how much you don't know me beacause your gonna have a massive red mak on your face if your not careful" I said sternly

"You....slap me? I'd like to see you try" I said nothing, took a small step back, to get the swing and laughed. In one swift movement my hand hit her cheek at some speed.

"Was that alright or would you like another" I said knowing the answer, I walked over to Maxi and looked him in the eye "why?" I asked

"I isn't what you think, I promise. I love you!" Maxi said

"You love me?" I shouted sounding choked "Wells hows this, the past sixteen days when you've been raising awareness for anxiety and depression, I've been sufferening from depression my self. I haven't eating in ages and when I do I force my self to be sick. I'm the most insecure I've ever been in my whole life. I've recived horrific messages from people saying I'm ugly and fat and I dont deseve you. And I believe them. I've hit rock bottom and the man that I though would make everything okay again has made them a thousand times worse. I can't believe you, I thought you loved me, promised we would get married and everything would be alright. You lied to me and I can never forgive you for that. It's over, I never want to see you again." I said tears streaming down my face. I left no time for him to reply, I ran out of the bar, and out of the corner of my eye I saw every single lifeguard staring at me and Maxi. I pulled off my shoes because i couldn't run in six in heels and ran home.

I got home and looked at the time 12:31. I needed someone to talk too face to face. I couldn't speak to anyone of the lifeguards or even Jess I was to embarrassed. I opened up my laptop and looked through my Skype contacts. then a name flashed at me Abigail Starr. what's the time difference I thought to myself. 3:30pm in England. I clicked on Abi's name and within seconds her face popped up on the screen.

"Heya" she said

"Hi" I said looking into the camera wearily

"Wowza! you look rough! what's happened." abi said. I couldn't find the words I speak so I sat there crying. "hey Lottie what's up pet"

"It's maxi he's cheated on me" I manage to say

"He's done what!" I heard abi shout

"Yes I caught him with his tongue down the barmaids throat" I said. I retold the whole story to abi and she sat there listening patiently. when i was finished she didn't say a word. there was a long pause before she began.

"What do you want to do? do you want him back ?"

"I don't know what I want. I thought I wanted him and I thought he wanted that too. I still love him, I just can't trust him" I said hanging my head in shame

"What's happened since you confronted him?" abi asked. I looked down at my phone

"Well I have 22 missed calls from maxi and the lifeguard and 51 text messages from people too. I'm so confused I hate him for doing this too me but I don't know what to do." I said welling up again.

"Here's what you do, write a note telling maxi to stay somewhere else tonight, say you might talk tomorrow and leave it at that. then you missy should get some sleep, I'm not surprised you can't think there will be so much going on in your head. get some rest" replied abi

"You always give the best advice, thank you. I love you abi!" I said giving her a small smile.

"Your welcome. I'll talk to you tomorrow. night Hun" abi said ending our Skype call. i put my laptop away and wrote the note to maxi

'I don't know what to do. don't stay here tonight though, stay with Jesse an I might talk to you in the morning. stop calling me I'll call you when I'm ready' I stuck it on the front door and put on my sleeping playlist on and climbed into bed. The big bed felt empty without maxi so i rolled over and switched off the light, just as Cry Me Out by Pixie Lott came on.

Well I wouldn't need to cry myself out I'd be crying myself to sleep.....