Once In A Lifetime

☯ Chapter Thirty Eight

Cyn POV

Erica Sat In My Lap As Mac Daddy Redo Her Touch Ups And I Help Her Change. She Hasn't Said Much Really But I Don't Mind It Because She Is In Her Headspace. As Long As She Doesn't Shut Me Out. I Watch Her Breast Feed King And There Is No Doubt She Loves Her Kids. Maybe It Is To Early For A Marriage Proposal.

Cyn: Baby You Feel Better? * Rubbing Her Back* What's On That Beautiful Mind Of Yours My Sexy Hulk * Laughing Softly As I Hold The Ice Against My Bottom Lip*

Erica: I Feel Like......Um How I Would I Out This* Thinking*....I Feel As If I Have Blood My Hands That Won't Come Off And Very Selfish Of Myself To Turn To Ekiene As For Help. I Know You See It As Defending Myself But I See It Is Pain, Gilt, And Revenge. The First Girl I've Been With, She Loved Him Especially In Bed But We Went Fist To Fist Once When I Was High. Me Losing Is Everything Is Partially My Fault. Like If I Was Good Child, I Would Have Probably Have The Simple Life I've Got Now, If I Didn't Fight In School And Kept My Legs Closed, I Wouldn't Be A Target And Been In Warm Bed, Or Like I Would Have Just Listened In General, I Wouldn't Have Gone Through So Much To Get Here. Life On The Streets Isn't What I Ever I Wanted But I Have Always Ended Up There. I'm Careful Around And Grateful For You Because You Are Still Here But It Don't Make What I Did Any Right. Call Me A Beast All You Want But This Beast Likes To Fuck Some Shit Up And Not Care. That's Never A Good Thing Because I've Always Been Misunderstood. I Am Not Bad Person But I Caused Some Of My Own Pain.

Cyn: Well You Obviously Don't Need Anymore Extra Boost But I Can Help You Use The Anger As A Weapon And Not A Threat. I Was An Angry Person At One Period Of Time After Mary And Finding Out A Strap Turned My Life Around. I Lost A Baby Once Because Of That By A Fling. It Was Hardest Day Of My Life.* Voice Cracking* But I Learned How To Deal With It. I Would Do Anything To Go Back Beat Her Ass But Sooner I Realized That You Go Through Shit To Get To The Peace. I Got Him * Picking Up King To Burp Him* You Aren't Alone And There Is Always That One Person In Worse Shit Than You. I'm Just As Scared As You Baby And Most Definitely Want To Lock You And The Kids Up In A Tower So I Would Know You Guys Are Safe But That Isn't Realistic And God Gave Us Free Will As A Good Thing And Bad Thing. Remember What I Told You At Church?

Erica: That Life Goes On But With Faith The Pain Will Soon Be A Blessing. Does It Still Hurt?

Cyn: And As You Can We Both Been Through Shit To Have The Blessings We Get Everyday Such As Just Waking Up. Yes It Hurts Everyday But I'm Still Alive And Have Everything I Want And Need. * Smiling*

King: * Gives A Big Burp And Laughs*

Erica: Good Job Buddy * Cooeing Him* Love You Ma * Laying On My Shoulder*

Cyn: Say Wuv You Too Mommy * Standing King Up* Say I Get Kiss Mommy?* In A Baby Voice*

King: * Laughing And Giggling As He Jumps In My Lap Showing Off His One Baby Little Baby Tooth*

Erica: * Softly Chuckles* Are You Finished With Kids Now That We Have Two?

Cyn: Maybe One Or Two More But Six Is Too Big Of A Number Now That I Think About It.

Erica: Um I Am Not Pushing Out Anymore Than One Because Labor Is A Bitch. That Fourth One....I Don't Know About All That* Laughing*

Cyn: Girl I'm Getting Some Out Of You * Kissed Her Cheek* When You Know Like Our First Child With My DNA Because I'm Still Fertile Things Will Be Different In A Good Way And It Is Better Planned. Imma Get My Eggs Frozen Until The Time Comes.

Erica: That's A Good Way To Reserve Your Eggs. I Just Don't Like Doctors.

Cyn: * Laughing* You Don't Like Anyone You Don't Know But Back On Ekiene. How Good Is He ....... In Bed?